What are the differences...

**PixiePetal** · 25-05-2010, 09:34 PM

My 2 have been a real mixture. In some ways so sterotypical in play etc when they were young dolls/cars etc but then my DS has my laid back nature and DD is fiery like DH. Hopefully well rounded adults in the making - I live in hope

TheBTeam · 25-05-2010, 09:46 PM

This is really interesting, as a childminder i prefer caring for boys when they are under 5, but after this i prefer girls!

I have two children and they seem completely against the stereotypical things written and what i perceived beforehand. I am very non stereotypical in what i offered them as small children and with the mindees I am also non stereotypical.

I see two year old boys being very caring and loving with the dolls and imitating real life with the dolls house stuff, then the one young girl we have plays the same but is more bossy and demanding.

With my own children my dd is a real tomboy and has never been interested in doll play, but my ds was especially when I was pregnant with dd.

I think my dd is more loving and has far more perception from a far younger age of other peoples feelings. Then again my ds is very mature for his age, compared to his peer group we have been told he should be at least a year ahead in respect of his maturity.

My ds is far more concerned with the rules of the land and the righteousness of things, whereas dd doesnt really care as long as she is in charge!

**kindredspirits** · 26-05-2010, 06:10 AM

i think boys are generally more active babies/toddlers - they like to try and escape during nappy changes and resist sleep more. girls tend to settle in better and be comfortable with strangers faster.

**Daftbat** · 26-05-2010, 06:43 AM

I have found that as babies and toddlers there has not been much difference between the sexes but once trhey start forming proper friendships then the changes occur. The girls tend to try and organise the boys in imagination games for example. The boys start to get fixated by football. Its also interesting that as very young children they don't seem to realise any difference between boys and girls but then as they get older the girls want to play together and ditto the boys.

The girls i have cared for all seem to be much more interested in art than the boys - i normally have to cajole them into doing anything but as toddlers everyone wanted to do everyhting that was on offer.

On a lighter note - boys can't do 2 things at once - J one day had me in stitches as he held an umbrella and promptly forgot how to walk!

**huggableshelly** · 26-05-2010, 06:53 AM

I cm mainly for boys but not sure if I can offer anything here.

my son and a male mindee love dressing up, make up, sewing crafts, hanna beads, eequin art - all the creative *girly* stuff and so does my daughter.

the other male mindees love rough and tumble, sand, water, mud, outdoor play, creating ramps, junk moddeling, spaceships, and pokemon but then so does the female mindee.

other stuff:
boys winge more than girls
girls sulk more than boys
boys are more demanding and forget their manners quicker than girls
girls are willing to help with tidying up more than boys
boys will rush to get ready for school regardless of their hair, shoes on right feet and shirts tucked in
girls will aim to present themselves better and take longer to get ready
boys will scoff food to be the first to finish
girls will chat then complain that their food is cold
boys enjoy food shopping but hate clothes shopping
girls hate all kinds of shopping unless it is just for them

**sarah707** · 26-05-2010, 06:57 AM

Brilliant comments guys thank you very much!

Keep them coming if you think of any more

**Chell** · 26-05-2010, 07:15 AM

I've been reading through the comments about girls and disagreeing with lots of them. There is 18mths between DS and DD (DS being older) so they have always been very close. They fight loads but are great play mates for each other. DD knows the name of lots of cars, yes, pink Minis are her favourite but she came name loads more. She also knows loads of dinosaurs.

She is obsessed with rude things!

Girls are very bitchy and this starts much younger than I realised before seeing children in reception at school. I remembered what bitches the girls were when I was at junior/senior schoolm but hearing stories it seems to start as soon as they start school!

Girls seem to want all games to be 'their' game, calling the shots and telling the others what to do. Boys just seem to get on much better.

**Minstrel** · 26-05-2010, 12:10 PM

Maybe this is the opposite of what you are looking for but....

my son is 3 (almost 4) and has long hair. He does look very girly even though i dress him in very obviously boys clothes but he has long eyelashes and very big brown eyes. Strangers almost always still think he's a girl and i'm amazed how differently they treat him until i say 'actually he's a boy'.

**venus89** · 26-05-2010, 12:18 PM

Originally Posted by Minstrel

Maybe this is the opposite of what you are looking for but....

my son is 3 (almost 4) and has long hair. He does look very girly even though i dress him in very obviously boys clothes but he has long eyelashes and very big brown eyes. Strangers almost always still think he's a girl and i'm amazed how differently they treat him until i say 'actually he's a boy'.

That's like that experiment where they dressed the same child in pink or blue and handed them to someone who didn't know them to look after them. If people thought they were a girl they'd give them 'girl toys' to play with and vice versa.....

**sarah707** · 12-06-2010, 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by venus89

That's like that experiment where they dressed the same child in pink or blue and handed them to someone who didn't know them to look after them. If people thought they were a girl they'd give them 'girl toys' to play with and vice versa.....

I agree with that having done a lot of babysitting over the years!

I have found from my research that while a lot of it is pre-determined many of the differences are nurture based too.

so while we say... but we offer them the same opportunities and they choose not to play that way... what we might need to be doing is actually encourage, teach and support boys to play in other ways as well as following their natural tendencies.

I am grateful to you all for coming up with so much material for me.

I will not use it to stereotype... I am using words like 'generally' and 'often' and ' sometimes' a lot!!

Thank you!

Twinklestars · 14-06-2010, 04:08 PM

my 5 year old ds is very loving but also very independent.

he loves rough play (have had to stop this a bit though cos there was a punching incident at school)

he is always filthy when he comes in but it washes out, at least he has fun

never had any experience of girls, i only seem to get enquiries for boys too

my friend had 3 boys then a girl and she said all the boys were a lot easier than the girl

**Celyn** · 14-06-2010, 07:59 PM

One that my husband noticed:

Boys will go to the toilet only when they need to go to the toilet.

Girls will go together en masse and spend ages chattering in there.

**sarah707** · 14-06-2010, 08:00 PM

Originally Posted by Celyn

One that my husband noticed:

Boys will go to the toilet only when they need to go to the toilet.

Girls will go together en masse and spend ages chattering in there.

Pipsqueak · 14-06-2010, 08:25 PM

Living in a household full of males I would say there is a massive difference and it starts quite early on.... females can multi-task.
I mind mostly boys and the odd girl that comes through my hands this is something I notice hugely.
Two 2 yr olds both same age (in months), little girl can do several tasks at once, little boy has to concentrate with all his might on one thing.

However, (must have missed this thread first time around) i will disagree with some things:
boys are more independent, girls like to be around you all the time and you doing stuff with them
boys are more physical, girls are more solitary
can;t say anything about the pink thing - got my two younger sons who are obsessed by pink
girls are bossy (sorry organisational) boys are more frenetic and couldn't care less
boys are more lovingly spontaneous, girls seem more 'conditional' and on their own terms

Although saying that I do think it depends on their environment (home life and lifestyles), ages etc

Iz the girl I used to mind was very 'girly' but once she had been around me and mine for a while her mum used to say in a horrified-but-joking way - you have turned my daughter into a tomboy. And it was true HOWEVER it was noted by me and parent that her physical side really increased her confidence in all other aspects. In turn she was excellent for my james as she taught him imaginative and creative aspects.

**Mouse** · 14-06-2010, 08:25 PM

Originally Posted by Celyn

One that my husband noticed:

Boys will go to the toilet only when they need to go to the toilet.

Girls will go together en masse and spend ages chattering in there.

lol! I don't think that changes even when we grow up!

Pipsqueak · 14-06-2010, 08:27 PM

Originally Posted by Celyn

One that my husband noticed:

Boys will go to the toilet only when they need to go to the toilet.

Girls will go together en masse and spend ages chattering in there.

That is the zillion dollar question - why do women go to the loo together.
having never really been part of that (think i was born into the wrong body sometimes) I was so shocked on an evening out with the lasses last year - when i drunkenly announced i was going for a wee (just perhaps not so politely) and two of my friends friends came with me and piled into the cubicle with me

**Celyn** · 14-06-2010, 08:44 PM

I was really surprised when he pointed it out to me. I mean, I knew that women do go together when they're out and about, but to realise that it starts so young was fascinating!
I mentioned it once to Sue Palmer, the author of Toxic Childhood - she went to our Network conference. She thought that it might stem from a need for protection. Boys, as the hunters, don't need to worry so much about predators. Girls stick together for herd protection.

Pipsqueak · 14-06-2010, 08:48 PM

Originally Posted by Celyn

I was really surprised when he pointed it out to me. I mean, I knew that women do go together when they're out and about, but to realise that it starts so young was fascinating!
I mentioned it once to Sue Palmer, the author of Toxic Childhood - she went to our Network conference. She thought that it might stem from a need for protection. Boys, as the hunters, don't need to worry so much about predators. Girls stick together for herd protection.

Boys sprinkle while they tinkle
girls natter while they.....

its an excellent observation actually - i have noticed that when male mindee goes to the loo female mindee tends to follow, have to stop her everytime from joining him. he always politely waits outside the door for her.
even when i go she follows me in, perches on the the stool and will natter away. I chase her out but she hovers at the door - calling out to me. Funnily enough I asked her today why she done that and she told me she was 'just checking i was ok and that I had enough loo roll'
Oh boy does it start young!

**sweets** · 14-06-2010, 09:16 PM

boys don't wipe their bums or flush

well the boy i mind doesn't anyway! lol.

**singlewiththree** · 15-06-2010, 06:07 AM

Originally Posted by miss mopple

oh sweets, definately. I have 2 girls and over the years the majority of kids I have minded have been boys and you are so right. Girls are very devious and downright bitchy at times but with boys what you see is what you get

You see I think it depends on the child and their house. I have looked after 2 boys and they are downright sneaky, snide and evil to the other children as soon as my back is turned. The girls however just come and say if they have a problem with another child.