Dance school policies
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  1. #1
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    Default Dance school policies

    So, my DD is 15, and has tonight been kicked out of her dance school. A group of girls have been being really nasty to her on snapchat (so I guess that's cyber bullying), and telling her to quit, so she's not wanted to go for a few weeks. I decided to message the parents yesterday, as I know them, to try and resolve it. These were all her best friends up until 2 weeks ago...

    Anyway, she turned up tonight, and it appears everyone knows she's been kicked out of the dance school. She calls me in tears and she's waiting outside in the dark (it's 7pm) for me, and we go in. The principle asks if I've received her email... Nope. Apparently she sent one to me, saying she thought it was time DD stopped dancing, as she wasn't committed enough. I asked if she was aware what had been going on... Not really. So I explained why she'd not been wanting to go.

    She then says these girls have told her that DD has been 'questioning her decisions' too - to which I laughed, as I'd seen their messages slagging the dance teacher off! She doesn't think DD is committed enough and takes it as seriously as the others. DD is stood there crying.

    I got DD's phone out and reader some of the messages she'd been sent, and said that had been handled really badly! She should've called and made sure we knew before telling teachers, and them telling students, who where the ones who took great delight in telling her she had been kicked out!

    Principle asked me what should she have done - kicked the other 4 girls out instead? I said no, you should've spoke to them all and tried to resolve it first! Now, before I go back to her tomorrow, (as I've paid fees I want reimbursing if she's kicked my kids out) I have a younger DD, who I told her won't be coming back either, to which she said, 'I did wonder, and put that in the email too'. I want a copy of this supposed email.... I want to know so facts...

    I believe she has breeched her duty of care to my daughter. My daughter was being bullied, and she did not deal with it, and allowed my daughter to end up in an even worse situation by turning up after being kicked out and be further humiliated. Should she have an anti-bullying policy?

    Trying to figure out the best way to respond.....

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by mum2two View Post
    So, my DD is 15, and has tonight been kicked out of her dance school. A group of girls have been being really nasty to her on snapchat (so I guess that's cyber bullying), and telling her to quit, so she's not wanted to go for a few weeks. I decided to message the parents yesterday, as I know them, to try and resolve it. These were all her best friends up until 2 weeks ago...

    Anyway, she turned up tonight, and it appears everyone knows she's been kicked out of the dance school. She calls me in tears and she's waiting outside in the dark (it's 7pm) for me, and we go in. The principle asks if I've received her email... Nope. Apparently she sent one to me, saying she thought it was time DD stopped dancing, as she wasn't committed enough. I asked if she was aware what had been going on... Not really. So I explained why she'd not been wanting to go.

    She then says these girls have told her that DD has been 'questioning her decisions' too - to which I laughed, as I'd seen their messages slagging the dance teacher off! She doesn't think DD is committed enough and takes it as seriously as the others. DD is stood there crying.

    I got DD's phone out and reader some of the messages she'd been sent, and said that had been handled really badly! She should've called and made sure we knew before telling teachers, and them telling students, who where the ones who took great delight in telling her she had been kicked out!

    Principle asked me what should she have done - kicked the other 4 girls out instead? I said no, you should've spoke to them all and tried to resolve it first! Now, before I go back to her tomorrow, (as I've paid fees I want reimbursing if she's kicked my kids out) I have a younger DD, who I told her won't be coming back either, to which she said, 'I did wonder, and put that in the email too'. I want a copy of this supposed email.... I want to know so facts...

    I believe she has breeched her duty of care to my daughter. My daughter was being bullied, and she did not deal with it, and allowed my daughter to end up in an even worse situation by turning up after being kicked out and be further humiliated. Should she have an anti-bullying policy?

    Trying to figure out the best way to respond.....
    A catalogue of misery and misunderstandings caused by modern technology - surely the head teacher should have phoned and made an appointment to see you and your daughter for a face to face meeting. Did you get any response from the bullies parents? And did the head teacher know about the cyber bullying before you went in? Hope your daughter can find another dance school or dance fitness class where people are kinder.

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    I'm sorry you have been treated this way. It's not good enough in this day and age. If that is their ethos then your daughter's really are better off out of there.

    I'm pretty sure everyone has to have DBS but I bet that is all they need in terms of that kind of regulation. I'm not sure who they would be accountable too either. It's a big gap that you have highlighted.

    I would be tempted to not let it lie with the dance school and to stop them being so flippant, but your main priority is dealing with the bullying. Could your daughter's school give you some support on this?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maza View Post
    I'm sorry you have been treated this way. It's not good enough in this day and age. If that is their ethos then your daughter's really are better off out of there.

    I'm pretty sure everyone has to have DBS but I bet that is all they need in terms of that kind of regulation. I'm not sure who they would be accountable too either. It's a big gap that you have highlighted.

    I would be tempted to not let it lie with the dance school and to stop them being so flippant, but your main priority is dealing with the bullying. Could your daughter's school give you some support on this?
    I agree, that is terrible. I would be horrified if it happened at our dance school.

    Does your dance school belong to an 'awarding body' such as RAD or maybe CDET? ( Not sure what they do, and I'm on bed rest so can't research ) and contact them, as I am sure there must be defined policies of behaviour.

    I sometimes read a ballet forum called 'BalletCoForum' and a page called doing dance has lots of helpful people on it. Maybe have a look and ask for help there as they will be more in the dance school world.

    I'm so sorry for you and your daughter's.

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    Oh yes, loocyloo, RAD, I forgot about that. My old dance school wasn't RAD, it was NATD. I've just been on their page and they do have a section on vulnerable people/DBS etc and so they are somewhat aware of their responsibilities. I'm so cross on your behalf that not only did they not deal with the bullying, they also let your daughter wait outside in the dark for you to collect her. What if she didn't have a phone on her? How dare they humiliate her like that. It also sounds like they are putting profit first - they prefer to exclude just one child rather than four.

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    Thanks all. They are RAD and ISTD accredited, so I was thinking they must have to agree to some form of code of conduct.

    I think that's who I'm going to have to contact. Knowing this has happened to students in the past, means it's not an isolated incidence, and highly likely it will happen again in the future, and I don't want another child to have to go through that.

    I guess we are lucky that DD does not go to school with any of these girls, and the girls at her school go to the other local dance classes, so she is joining there, so hopefully isn't going to be too affected by this, but I can imagine how it affects some others. :-(

    xx

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