SCHOOL UNIFORM
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    Default SCHOOL UNIFORM

    ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    give me strength !

    I thought girls were meant to be the fussy ones? !!!!


    DD starts high school in September, we have all of her new school uniform bar shin pads and mouth guard, oh and a new bag ...



    DS ONLY needed new school shoes ( sorted ) and trousers ... we have tried on trousers in every shop/supermarket or ordered online ... every pair is 'wrong' ! they have to be black, flat fronted for school ... DS is slim, so have been ordering/trying slim fit on. DS refuses to wear them how they are made to be worn ( ie waistband at the waist ) and is insisting on wearing them round his hips ... BUT SCHOOL TROUSERS ARE NOT MADE TO BE WORN LIKE THAT! He found a pair and has had a tantrum that I won't order them - because THEY ARE THE SAME SIZE AS A CURRENT PAIR HE SAYS ARE TOO SMALL! he just doesn't seem to understand that they need to be a touch big now, if they are to fit him for a while once term goes back! ( OH, and school say trousers have to be trouser material, not chino/denim or tight fitting .. I expect if flares were in, they would say no flares! ) I was just going to order them from school website, but they are too baggy apparently!

    ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

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    I totally sympathise, same problem here with child refusing to wear his school trousers even though he went to shop, tried them on and said they were ok. He went to school wearing black skinny jeans which nobody noticed so then refused to wear proper school ones.
    Note to self not to buy black home wear trousers/jeans in future!!
    Dreading September!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by watford wizz View Post
    I totally sympathise, same problem here with child refusing to wear his school trousers even though he went to shop, tried them on and said they were ok. He went to school wearing black skinny jeans which nobody noticed so then refused to wear proper school ones.
    Note to self not to buy black home wear trousers/jeans in future!!
    Dreading September!!!
    Last year same child came to shoe shop, tried on several pairs, chose a pair, we bought them and went home. 3 days later decided he didn't like them, they weren't comfortable ( he apparently only said they were because he was bored and had had enough of shoe shopping ) so DH took him back to exchange them ! I wouldn't have!


    luckily we don't have any black 'home' trousers or jeans, so it has got to be school trousers! oH for the days when he was little and just wore shorts!

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    My DD is the worst ever for school uniform. When she very first started reception she refused to wear her sweatshirt because it was blue - she wanted pink!!

    Her senior school has a school uniform policy but they've never enforced it properly so she's got away with wearing skinny trousers/jeans and converse pumps for the last year. Believe me, I have tried. She has tried on every pair of trousers in town, I have ordered hundreds of them, but none of them are ever right. So she's worn skinny jeans and, because no one has ever told her not to, that's what she wants now.

    Unfortunately for her, the school are cracking down from September and she's going to have to have either proper school trousers or a knee-length A-line skirt. And proper shoes, not pumps. I'm dreading uniform shopping with her this year so I'm putting it off for as long as possible!

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    You have my sympathy mouse, my son has sensory processing disorder and clothing is a real problem with him. There have been times I've ended up sobbing about the fact that all he will have to wear is pants, and even those have to fit a certain way. When he tries trousers on, if they feel OK everywhere else they will fail on the tummy test. He sucks his tummy in so far that if they slide, even the slightest bit, they feel too weird to wear! Shoe shopping is horrific and leads to all involved being completely traumatised :-/

    My daughter is a breeze in comparison.

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    Quote Originally Posted by halor View Post
    You have my sympathy mouse, my son has sensory processing disorder and clothing is a real problem with him. There have been times I've ended up sobbing about the fact that all he will have to wear is pants, and even those have to fit a certain way. When he tries trousers on, if they feel OK everywhere else they will fail on the tummy test. He sucks his tummy in so far that if they slide, even the slightest bit, they feel too weird to wear! Shoe shopping is horrific and leads to all involved being completely traumatised :-/

    My daughter is a breeze in comparison.
    i want to press LIKE, but not like as in 'like' but commiserations. xxx

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    For the 2nd year now our High school is selling every item of uniform! All skirts and trousers etc have to be bought from them. Or consequences. So at least even the 'cool' kids will be wearing the same trousers as my son. I'm relieved to be honest. Oh and the parents of girls have received a letter stating that this is the final chance for the girls not to loose the choice of wearing skirts because some still roll them up too short.

    Am feeling your pain.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BallyH View Post
    For the 2nd year now our High school is selling every item of uniform! All skirts and trousers etc have to be bought from them. Or consequences. So at least even the 'cool' kids will be wearing the same trousers as my son. I'm relieved to be honest. Oh and the parents of girls have received a letter stating that this is the final chance for the girls not to loose the choice of wearing skirts because some still roll them up too short.

    Am feeling your pain.
    I wish we had to get every item of uniform from the school shop! Girls skirts are easier to buy from uniform shop, as that way I know it is the correct one! however, you are limited on the length of skirt you can buy and I had to phone the online company and physically request a smaller and shorter skirt! because although DD isn't tiny, the smallest one our school sell, fell down when she tried it on, and even when I took it in with a safety pin, was way below her knees!

    When I was at secondary school, we had to get everything from the schools section at local department store! I think boys could buy white shirts anywhere, but our uniform was so precise, you had no choice! ... boys in suits of one design and girls in a different style skirt each year ( so you knew what year any girl was in! ) and bright blue blouses !!!

    DH has said to ignore the tantrum ( easy, when he is not here! but equally just what I would say to anyone with a small child! ) and not to return trousers and come September he will have to wear them !!! bagsy me not being here that first morning back to school!
    Last edited by loocyloo; 08-08-2016 at 07:22 PM.

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    I sobbed in the shoe shop last year when my then 9 1/2 year old was measured as an adult size 8, and the ONLY pair of shoes in the whole shop where in beige and would be similar to shoes sold in Granny magazines. I'm a 8/12 or 9, so should have expected it really. It's sad when your now 10 year old nicks my converse.

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    My daughter was always the same with things round her waist and wore them round her hips. Skirts are easier to wear that way than trousers.
    However she suddenly decided they were better worn just over her waist. She is very leggy and now they are up round her bum!
    Dreading finding longer skirts for Sept. Not so bad as she can wear tights but if we have a warm Autumn she will want socks (and I'll have to find some that aren't "lumpy")

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    My lads would wear binbags if I gave them to them. I'd actually quite like them to take a smidge of interest in their appearance......just not as much interest as all yours show though!!

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    I have always been an advocate of the answer "no" to the question "do uniforms make a difference?' This thread backs up my life long opinion!
    A Sutton trust research showed years ago that this trend of 'new head/ new acadamy chain - sort out uniform to show who rules' doesn't actually reflect in better progress and results! They catogorically stated it was not the best step to take to change the outcomes for a pupil and a school.
    My friend who moved to New York State with my god children was beside herself with angst over the no uniform rule in schools there! Uniforms meant you knuckled down and studied more, a pride in your school and wanting to do well for them and yourself if you wore it....utter nonsense, they did well despite wearing what they wanted every day of their school life!!
    Not a big advocate, as you may have guessed, of school uniforms - I saw too many petty issues in my other life around it.
    In the Uk we do not encourage creativity in our personalities......so sad.

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    I prefer uniforms, especially in secondary schools. There is so much pressure on some children if they don't have 'big name' designer clothes that it would just be another way that children would be at risk of bullying

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    I prefer uniforms too. I think it would be too stressful for parents and children if teenagers had to decide what to wear each morning. I can see how uniforms wouldn't have an impact on results but I think there are deeper issues linked to uniforms.

    Also, can you imagine having to put name tags on absolutely everything?

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    My points around school uniform:
    When there isn't a uniform children/ young people tend to create their own school uniform, wearing a selection of clothes for school, keeping others for not at school occasions. Therefore if you need to put in names - it's the same amount of labelling. One of the main reasons for labelling in primary school is that they all have the same clothes so you need them labelled...if they wore their own you would not have this as a big problem.

    Even when there is a school uniform young people still push the boundaries/ find ways around it that will help them display their individuality. Schools that insist on the uniform, but don't enforce it are the worst...you as a parent fight to get your child into it ...then by December they have moved into their own interpretation and wasted money is the issue. Those that stick to the uniform increasingly get cross about those that get away with not sticking to it...issues occur then.
    Teachers on the other hand waste far too much time and energy policing uniforms ....it's a wicked circle...nobody gains.

    Bullying, big name trends distinguishing you from others is quoted as a reason to have them...this happens even with a uniform - the person with the market jumper and trousers sticks out a mile, by Spring term some items are not washing as well as the more expensive, this is obvious. Pressure for certain trends and makes within the uniform often happens..as the initial threads on here show. In young people's efforts to be individual or to be with a crowd...uniform issues occur.
    If you carry on wearing your own clothes ( with some guidelines for modesty and extremity possibly), America proves that it soon settles down into set clothes for school, but a person's personality and creativity is able to develop.
    If the bullying happens and street names groups established which cause issues then these should be addressed - not make them all wear the same thing - to get rid of these social issues. Tolerance, individuality, non value judgement needs to be taught and explored. These all need to be explored when young and then in the adult world we will have people who are more tolerant of others and realise clothes don't matter...it's not the wrapping that matters it's the quality of what is inside. My sons would have loved to wear shorts in the summer- like the girls were allowed to wear skirts - but the uniform restricted this...they sweated in blazers and later, sweatops until ' he who must not be named...the school hierarchy' decreed it the day they could take them off..which was often a week after the heatwave hit us.

    As quoted before the Sutton Trust researched the changes headteachers made to improve the school, tightening up on the uniform did not help improvement. This is plainly obvious, if a leadership team is relying on a uniform to unite a group, like the historical reason for uniforms linked to the military. Young people don't need uniforms to give them a sense of school identity, pride in their achievements, ethos, the way they daily conduct their lives, giving confidence for personal, individual achievements, working as a team...not just wearing the uniform, creating a respectful environment, enthusiasm for what they do there, positive about themselves and their peers, teachers, school.....I could go on in this area!

    I personally have experienced uniforms causing issues in the community...I was petrified of walking through my home community in my grammar school uniform, as was the secondary modern/ catholic school pupil in different communities....our uniforms divided our town...especially around orange day. It made us stick out , I used to carry a big bag so that I could put my blazer, tie etc..in it and don my own jacket so from a distance someone didn't spot me, chase me, corner me and tease me because of the school I attended.

    Parents want uniforms, say the headlines to make it easier...but I don't think it does, for reasons already highlighted..dare I say that the uniform helps the parent in that they don't have to take responsibility for what the child is wearing/ don't have to have the arguments around suitability of clothes/ don't have to put the boundaries in around how much money can be spent on clothes.....I think it's all part of parenting to teach and encourage young people tolerance, individuality..not following the gang, giving them confidence to wear what they want...to address the issues and talk them through.

    Some headteachers say that on non uniform days the young people/ children are less productive...but this is probably due to the focus day around the reason for non uniform, the day is probably different, less academically focussed. Or the YP feels that it's like a holiday because they are so restricted on other days..it's a release..if every day was non uniform this wouldn't happen. Dress down Friday's in the workplace has proven to be more productive.
    Teaching that there are certain clothes for certain occasions, to help when in the working world can be done gradually and the child learns to interpret this ...not have it forced and therefore does not learn / think about the impact of what you wear.
    It is not the law, it technically cannot be enforced...except as parents you sign up your child to it on arrival at a school and therefore cannot complain when petty/ inequality rules cause children to be put into detention/ sent home etc...

    My biggest issue, from experience, is funding the school uniform. In my opinion...which I know isn't a popular opinion...is that it is an unnecessary expense driving some parents into debt. I have experienced 70% of parents taking out loans and went into debt every August. The loan sharks circled....and this is for what is supposed to be a free education.....as long as you pay £250+ out for uniform and PE kit. In March Children told me of these same loan sharks sending in the bailiffs at 6am...to recoup the ever increasing spiral of loan....hiding behind doors..forced to keep silent until the hammering stops...all because the parent had to provide a full uniform ( even thrift shops are often not accessible to people with no spare cash after bills and food) the previous September.
    I always had an increase in food bank slips in September..." It was the high school uniform, I couldn't let him go without it, I talked to the school but there was no help, I didn't want her to be different, I didn't want him to be in detention or worse, sent home...I tried to do it a bit at a time but it still crippled me ...I paid it up weekly, but he still needed shoes/ football boots, I am trying not to get into debt over the uniform as I can't afford the payments" This is what I listened to.
    This is why I hold this opinion.

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    As with many issues, there are pros and cons. My 'labelling' comment was tongue in cheek.

    As a parent I honestly think that having a school uniform is cheaper than not having one - admittedly I only have a primary school child - maybe it is different when they are at secondary school

    I don't think it is fair to say that parents want uniform for the reasons you suggest Floradora. Not fair at all. When you are the one of the poorer kids in the class it sucks. No amount of talking about boundaries or 'packaging doesn't matter' will make you feel better when you are at such a vulnerable age. You can attempt to teach your own child these values but we all know that not all parents will teach their children these values. Yes, with a uniform people can still tell who the kids with and without money are, but personally not having a uniform at secondary school would have given me more stress than having one in the long run.

    At VI Form we didn't have to have a uniform and it was actually really exciting, but by that time so many of us had weekend jobs to help fund new clothes.

    I do agree, Floradora that uniforms can lead to safety worries when out and about.

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    I preferred having a uniform at school, I was bullied enough without adding to that the fact I didn't have the 'cool' clothes. Everyday would have been a nightmare, trying to choose what to wear, what wouldn't get me picked out so much.

    As a parent I prefer it as yes, it's easier but also because it separates school life from home life in a visual way.

    My son practically goes into a cold sweat on mufti day and he is only 8, labels don't matter so much at the moment but finding something that he is willing to wear, that doesn't feel horrible on (as I've mentioned, he has sensory processing disorder) and that looks ok is extremely hard for him.

    This should never cast a doubt on my parenting skills and the lessons in life that I teach him

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    I loved my school uniform and was really sad when I didn't get to wear one anymore. I think it protects children greatly from being bullied. I hated non uniform day and I had nice clothes to wear I just liked the ease and security of knowing we were all the same. Our hair, our faces and our personalities made us all different so I never felt like a clone!
    On non uniform day the poorer children or geeky ones if you like stood out like a sore thumb.

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    I know it's been a week or so since this thread stopped, but I hate uniforms. As the mother of identical twins who have had some very lazy teachers over the years, forcing them to dress exactly the same meant that those lazy teachers used their identical faces and identical clothes to not bother even trying to learn who was who. It is very harsh for 2 boys with very individual needs to attend school for 6 hours a day for 14 years and have people so disinterested in you that you aren't even worth a name.
    At least if they had been able to wear their own thing those lazy teachers would have been forced to use their name, even if they got it wrong sometimes. They got 'twins' so often.

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    Totally with you singingcactus as the eldest of four it was always me, my sister and the boys my younger twin brothers were very rarely called by their names although they were not identical people still got them muddled up so just called them the boys like they were some virus you could catch.

 

 
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