Feeling 'Cheated'?
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  1. #1
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    Default Feeling 'Cheated'?

    Nothing to do with CM, but I just want to know if I've got the 'Green Eyed Monster' disease or not? Long story short.... Grandparents have recently died. Grandad always said that he would make sure that me and my brother would get something in the will. Been saying this for over 30 years!
    No will could be found. Anywhere!
    My dad and uncle in the eyes of the law are the only beneficiaries. They stand to get 100K + each. My uncle is already rolling in it, so will be giving his sons X2 40K each. They only ever visited their grandparents twice in their lives.
    On the other hand, my dad says I have to wait or poison him to get anything.

    Charming! And I've helped him loads over the years, lending him money when he had nothing. Now he's planning on running off to the USA with his 'girlfriend' who is younger than me!

    I would just like him to repay what I lent him, £2000. Is that too much to ask.
    Am I a 'Green Eyed Monster' or just trying to make sure I'm not 'done over'?

    And breathe!
    Need a laugh? Visit my website: www.unclegargy.deviantART.com

  2. #2
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    It never seems fair when someone else is getting money, especially when you feel you deserve it and they don't!

    I'm not surprised you feel envious of your cousins getting money, but you'll get over that in time. That is a bit of the green eyed monster, but who wouldn't feel miffed that someone was getting that amount of money when they weren't? It's only natural to be a bit jealous, so don't beat yourself up about it.

    What seems most hurtful to you is your dad not showing you the same consideration that your uncle is showing his sons and even worse, not repaying you what you loaned him. It's not jealousy you're feeling there but anger and disappointment. It sounds as if you can't expect him to be as generous as your uncle, but I don't think it's wrong to expect him to at least repay you what he's borrowed. Hopefully he'll surprise you and pass some of the money on to you. If not, there's no reason not to ask for it back.

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  4. #3
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    I think that as the money was left to him then it's up to him what he does with it. However if he knew your Grandad's intention was to leave something for you then it would be good to give you something.

    However, what I think is a disgrace is that he owes you money and hasn't paid it back. In my opinion that should have been the first thing he did once probate was sorted. (My sister is in debt to my Mum and still taps her for money that she never pays back so I get your stance on this)

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  6. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ripeberry View Post
    Nothing to do with CM, but I just want to know if I've got the 'Green Eyed Monster' disease or not? Long story short.... Grandparents have recently died. Grandad always said that he would make sure that me and my brother would get something in the will. Been saying this for over 30 years!
    No will could be found. Anywhere!
    My dad and uncle in the eyes of the law are the only beneficiaries. They stand to get 100K + each. My uncle is already rolling in it, so will be giving his sons X2 40K each. They only ever visited their grandparents twice in their lives.
    On the other hand, my dad says I have to wait or poison him to get anything.

    Charming! And I've helped him loads over the years, lending him money when he had nothing. Now he's planning on running off to the USA with his 'girlfriend' who is younger than me!

    I would just like him to repay what I lent him, £2000. Is that too much to ask.
    Am I a 'Green Eyed Monster' or just trying to make sure I'm not 'done over'?

    And breathe!
    Feeling for you. A double blow to loose loved ones and being owed money that can now be paid back. I would ask for it asap. Best of luck.

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  8. #5
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    What a sad time for you.
    It's a tricky dilemma as only children are entitled to inherit and it sounds like your dad needs the money if he has been in a position that you have helped him out in the past. He is also entitled to spend it how he pleases which sounds like the thing you are finding difficulty to come to terms with.
    As far as paying the money back - did you lend it under the expectation that he would pay it back? What arrangement did you have? How long ago was this? If you gave him the money to help him and it was a while ago then you could ask certainly, but if you are now changing the arrangement because his circumstances have changed then that's a dillema.
    He could find situations of money that he has given you over the years and that you have no intention of giving back.
    All this doesn't help how you feel which is largely led by grief I think. I hear lots about inherited money tearing families apart, which is such a shame.
    Give it a little more time and I am sure you won't be giving this situation as much thought time - your sadness is probably causing you to dwell.

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  10. #6
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    Thanks for all your replies. Yes, I do think most of it is from grief as I really loved my grandparents. Also the fact my dad wants to leave the country and be far away from his family makes me sad as well
    Need a laugh? Visit my website: www.unclegargy.deviantART.com

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  12. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ripeberry View Post
    Nothing to do with CM, but I just want to know if I've got the 'Green Eyed Monster' disease or not? Long story short.... Grandparents have recently died. Grandad always said that he would make sure that me and my brother would get something in the will. Been saying this for over 30 years!
    No will could be found. Anywhere!
    My dad and uncle in the eyes of the law are the only beneficiaries. They stand to get 100K + each. My uncle is already rolling in it, so will be giving his sons X2 40K each. They only ever visited their grandparents twice in their lives.
    On the other hand, my dad says I have to wait or poison him to get anything.

    Charming! And I've helped him loads over the years, lending him money when he had nothing. Now he's planning on running off to the USA with his 'girlfriend' who is younger than me!

    I would just like him to repay what I lent him, £2000. Is that too much to ask.
    Am I a 'Green Eyed Monster' or just trying to make sure I'm not 'done over'?

    And breathe!
    Oh Families! My Dad inherited approx £90,000 £100,000 in the 1970s from my mothers's mother. He at the time owned a valuable property and was on a salary which would be around £100,000pa now so no where near poor. My sister and I didn't see a penny of it then and he died penniless and homeless (he was with my sister because he had no home of his own) 2 years ago. I can only assume he gambled the money away. Even if he had given us each 10,000 at the time it would have been life changing. But hey ho!

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