personal advice

[skyblue]

Just after some opinions about something unrelated to childminding. Recently I gave a piece of furniture to a family member who was starting up in a new place. Their plans unexpectedly changed and they didn't need it anymore. I then saw it on a fb selling page for sale and they sold it for quite a lot of money. I just feel a bit miffed that I gave it to them for nothing to help them out and they made money out of it without even mentioning it to me when I could have easily sold it myself instead of giving it to them in the first place. Would you be annoyed if this happened to you?

[Koala]

NO! If you give something to somebody you have no right or expectation that you should have any say in what happens to it thereafter.
It may have been nice if they had given you a share of the money even better (morally) they could have asked you if you wanted it back - I would have done this. And I could understand that you may be hurt and I may well be too if it had happened to me but it is theirs now and not yours.
It is sad that it has happened in this way and you probably won't help them out again and certainly your estimation of them has been lowered or it would be in my case - take a deep breath and just let it lie.

[JCrakers]

I wouldn't be happy but I suppose it was given so you couldn't really say anything as it wasn't yours anymore. I would have expected them to ask me if I needed it back instead of selling it for cash. Personally I think it shows what kind of a person someone is....a decent person would have said something before selling it but then this is just my opinion.

[skyblue]

Thank you for your replies. I appreciate them. I'm trying to just let it go but keeps really bugging me. I guess I've learnt a lesson and has definitely changed my opinion of this person. Xx

[Koala]

It's really disappointing when people do tricks like this and as I get older I seem to be disappointed by more and more people. Grit your teeth Karma will reward you

[rickysmiths]

Unless you said 'when you have finished with it could you let me have it back please' I think once given it is their's. Not nice to see but we are all different.

[mrsb79]

I've given all my baby clothes to my niece on the basis that I get them back so that a) I can keep them or b) so that I can sell them myself. I've had certain family members call me for that saying I should just give them to her and let her decide what she wants to do with them when she's finished yet other family members can see my logic as there is 7 months between the girls she will always benefit from Gracie's hand me downs saving her a fortune. My niece is fine with the arrangement and has asked me to sell some of her baby clothes along with mine to which we will spilt the proceeds. It's not very nice and I can understand why it's bugging you. If you decide to give them anything in future if you want it returned when they are finished make sure you tell them x

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[gwm]

Thank you for your replies. I appreciate them. I'm trying to just let it go but keeps really bugging me. I guess I've learnt a lesson and has definitely changed my opinion of this person. Xx

I think you are jepoardising a friendship for not a very good reason. You have done a good deed, let it lie. People think differently about these things. If that had happened to me....I'd be thinking 'Silly me for not thinking of that'. I have sent so many books, toys etc etc to the charity shop and it feels good to be helping others but with a bit of effort I could have done a carboot sale or e bay and made some money. I have a good friend who could e bay 'dust bunnies' and make money on them.

[blue bear]

It's done now don't let it upset you. I loaned my bed settee to mil who sold it, we were given things by her, she insisted on them back to sell them (wasn't part of the condition of the gift when she gave them to us)
I just let her get on with things and don't lend her anything any more.