Those of you that have DH's that work away how do you cope?
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  1. #1
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    Default Those of you that have DH's that work away how do you cope?

    My DH often works away but only for a day or 2 at a time. He had a phone call yesterday morning saying he was needed abroard for 2 weeks. Not a problem, I can deal with that!
    He has gone into work today, looked at the flight paperwork and the return flight is on the 29th- 3 weeks. He asked if it was a mistake and they said no, the company he will be going to do work for have this morning requested 3 weeks minimum, possibly extending to 4+.

    How do you cope for long periods of time when they're away? I think the hardest thing for me is the not knowing when he will be home! Could be 3 weeks possibly 4,5,6! I just want to cry but stupidly didn't put waterproof mascara on this morning so trying to keep the flood gates shut!

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    Also he goes tonight! So really short notice, no time to spend any good quality family time before he leaves!

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    Im possibly not the best person to give the first reply.
    it sounds like my idea of bliss!

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    My husband works offshore he does a 3 week shift. When he goes off to work I have to be a little more organised with our routine as when he is home he takes my oldest to school and gets our evening meal ready. The time does go quickly as I am so busy. It's quite nice in the evening to watch my programs in peace (we don't like the same programs) I find the weekends the hardest as you see families go off out but I tend to stay at home or use that time to catch up with friends. He will be back home before you know it....
    Pixie Dust

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  6. #5
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    I'm with you Mama3. Mine went away for a month at a time for a few months. Trouble was he kept coming back at the weekends!

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    Quote Originally Posted by mama2three View Post
    Im possibly not the best person to give the first reply.
    it sounds like my idea of bliss!
    I agree with you. My oh makes a mess everywhere and the only household chores he has opted to do still fall on me! How hard is it to deal with the clothes wadhing n ironing and the cat litter tray? I do everything else n still end up doing that. Plus cleaning behind him. Might as well be single.

    Sorry its no help mrsh. But I relish the thought of time without mine x

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    Ahhh, bless you. You are probably in shock at the short notice and the uncertainty of it all. My hubby occasionally works away for a couple of days at a time and I try to see the positive in it - watching all my soppy programmes that I have recorded and couldn't possibly watch if he was here due to the amount of 'tutting' I would hear and then him sniggering because I would be crying at my soppy shows, also, I cook what I want and actually have a few TV meals, so less cleaning up afterwards. I phone friends who I never get round to phoning. Obviously, as I said, mine is only a couple of days at a time.

    Also, on a more serious note, you might have to have some back-up plans in place. I don't drive and so when hubby is away I always make sure I have some money set aside for a taxi incase I need to take DD to A and E in the middle of the night. Have a spare set of keys either hidden or with a neighbour incase you get locked out. I'm also useless at house maintenance so I have the plumbers number in my phone etc. You will probably have to open his post when he is away, are you able to pay the bills that he would normally sort out?

    And remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder

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    I would be a wreck if my DH had to work away, he is my rock and I can't imagine functioning the same without him so, like you I would be fighting back the tears.
    Logistically you will cope I am sure, make up some meals at the weekend, like lasagne and shepherds pie, fish pie, chili, chicken cass etc..and freeze then just defrost and cook. Live on pasta in between that takes seconds .....
    It's the soulmate bit, you will have to organise FaceTime or Skype so that you can chat daily.
    He is also going to be so bothered about not seeing his family too, or his home comforts.....
    Perhaps you could try and embrace it into your planning and with your own children, with finding out more about where he is.....a map.....eat similar food at the weekend.
    It's soppy but on the odd occasion he has been away we have always had this thing that if we look at the moon we know each other are looking at the same moon, just from a different angle probably....it sort of links us, but then my DH loves looking at the stars through his telescope so I know he will be watching the night sky.
    These things are always sent for a reason, but it doesn't make it any nicer!
    My thoughts are with you
    Xx

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  14. #9
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    Im a military wife whose husband frequently goes away on exercise, deployments and courses. He came home the other day to tell me he was flying to Uganda that night - thankfully it got pulled at the last minute. I have learnt to love every second with him and live it like it is our last as he may not be here later on. Our first year of marriage he ended up being home for 6 weeks in the whole year and missed the first 8 months of our daughters life. He spent the majority of my last pregnancy away and we are now awaiting a new deployment date. You are stronger than you think and you will cope. xx
    Reach for the Moon. If you fail, you'll still land among the stars

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    I was sayimg to my sister earlier that people married to someone in the military have it harder and I should just man up.

    I am quite looking forward to having some me time and being able to watch what I want, eat what I want, go where I want at weekends etc.

    The main problem is not knowing when he will be home. If there was a definite date that I can aim towards then that's fine.

    Also I've now got to sort out both cars being repaired and having mots done :-/

    I open and deal with his post anyway, he's useless lol. He's given me his online banking passwords so I can transfer money to the joint acc when bills go out and so if I run out of money I have access to his he's not sure whether he'll have internet access. Skype could be an issue if not, 3 weeks with hardly any contact will be hell

  17. #11
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    You will be surprised how adaptable us women are. My dh went to Antarctica for 4 months a few years ago and we managed just fine. No internet and only one satellite phone on the base so very little contact at all.

    I won't pretend it was easy because it wasn't especially as he was away over Christmas but we survived to tell the tale. My life was so much easier if truth be told. I could go to bed each night knowing that the kitchen was still going to look the same when I came down the next morning

    Good luck

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    We women are resiliant. My DH went away for a week, the house stayed tidy for more than 2 hours once the little ones went home, no clothes to wash or iron, no flicking of the tv and best of all silence - enjoy it while you can
    Debbie

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  21. #13
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    Are you able to FaceTime each other, or video chat? Once he is settled maybe you could organise a time when you and your children would be home, so you can have a chat together .

    The time will fly, you will get through it.

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    My dh used to be in the merchant navy and did 3 months at sea and 5-6 weeks at home. First few days were always hard but then you find your routine and you will find that it's easier than you think. I enjoyed the peace and quite and not worrying about what I was watching on TV.

    You do have to be a bit more organised and get things sorted on a night for the following morning but you can do it x
    Love Amanda

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  24. #15
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    And on the positive side, I find that any time h and I have apart gives us a new appreciation for each one another and brings us closer. Will your dh have a period of time off when he gets home to compensate for working for such an extended amount of time? Could you book off a day or two for a long weekend away when he gets back (even for six weeks time, to make sure he will definitely have returned) to give you something to look forward to?
    Apologies for the random full stops. Phone buttons too small, thumbs too big.

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  26. #16
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    Can you not contact him at all during that time? Might find it useful to set up a Skype account so you can chat face to face. I'm sure the time will fly by
    Need a laugh? Visit my website: www.unclegargy.deviantART.com

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    I personally would use the time to:

    Have a good clear out of the house and maybe even toss out some of his junk (heehee)
    Get the girls round for a couple of evenings with a drop of vino and a takeaway
    Spend some mum time with my children
    Enjoy the TV remote being all to myself
    Eating and cooking what I want

    Oh the possibilities are endless....

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  29. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrsh3103 View Post
    I was sayimg to my sister earlier that people married to someone in the military have it harder and I should just man up.

    I am quite looking forward to having some me time and being able to watch what I want, eat what I want, go where I want at weekends etc.

    The main problem is not knowing when he will be home. If there was a definite date that I can aim towards then that's fine.

    Also I've now got to sort out both cars being repaired and having mots done :-/

    I open and deal with his post anyway, he's useless lol. He's given me his online banking passwords so I can transfer money to the joint acc when bills go out and so if I run out of money I have access to his he's not sure whether he'll have internet access. Skype could be an issue if not, 3 weeks with hardly any contact will be hell
    Wherever we are ....Macdonalds comes to the rescue. Free wifi...anywhere in the world...French Macdonalds serve lovely coffee....
    I am sure there will be one not far away...... Middle of no where Thailand ....Macci D ..with wifi... Only thing that draws me in there!!!

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  31. #19
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    He has wifi at the hotel but because of the hours he's working and the time difference so far we've managed to skype once :-/ the kids still haven't managed to speak to him!
    He will be flying home the tuesday afternoon and back to work wednesday morning.
    It has been quite nice having the bed to myself and doing what I want but I'm now struggling. 2 weeks to go

 

 

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