Those of you that have DH's that work away how do you cope?
Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  22
Dislikes Dislikes:  0
Results 1 to 19 of 19
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    645
    Registered Childminder since
    Mar 13
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Those of you that have DH's that work away how do you cope?

    My DH often works away but only for a day or 2 at a time. He had a phone call yesterday morning saying he was needed abroard for 2 weeks. Not a problem, I can deal with that!
    He has gone into work today, looked at the flight paperwork and the return flight is on the 29th- 3 weeks. He asked if it was a mistake and they said no, the company he will be going to do work for have this morning requested 3 weeks minimum, possibly extending to 4+.

    How do you cope for long periods of time when they're away? I think the hardest thing for me is the not knowing when he will be home! Could be 3 weeks possibly 4,5,6! I just want to cry but stupidly didn't put waterproof mascara on this morning so trying to keep the flood gates shut!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    645
    Registered Childminder since
    Mar 13
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Also he goes tonight! So really short notice, no time to spend any good quality family time before he leaves!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    4,126
    Registered Childminder since
    sep09
    Latest Inspection Grade
    outstanding
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Im possibly not the best person to give the first reply.
    it sounds like my idea of bliss!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    1,028
    Registered Childminder since
    Sept 09
    Latest Inspection Grade
    Outstanding
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    My husband works offshore he does a 3 week shift. When he goes off to work I have to be a little more organised with our routine as when he is home he takes my oldest to school and gets our evening meal ready. The time does go quickly as I am so busy. It's quite nice in the evening to watch my programs in peace (we don't like the same programs) I find the weekends the hardest as you see families go off out but I tend to stay at home or use that time to catch up with friends. He will be back home before you know it....
    Pixie Dust

  5. Likes Maza liked this post
  6. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    341
    Registered Childminder since
    Dec 87
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    I'm with you Mama3. Mine went away for a month at a time for a few months. Trouble was he kept coming back at the weekends!

  7. Likes Maza liked this post
  8. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    south coast
    Posts
    2,978
    Registered Childminder since
    Oct 12
    Latest Inspection Grade
    over it ;-)
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mama2three View Post
    Im possibly not the best person to give the first reply.
    it sounds like my idea of bliss!
    I agree with you. My oh makes a mess everywhere and the only household chores he has opted to do still fall on me! How hard is it to deal with the clothes wadhing n ironing and the cat litter tray? I do everything else n still end up doing that. Plus cleaning behind him. Might as well be single.

    Sorry its no help mrsh. But I relish the thought of time without mine x

  9. Likes Maza liked this post
  10. #7
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    3,753
    Registered Childminder since
    Mar 10
    Latest Inspection Grade
    Outstanding
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Ahhh, bless you. You are probably in shock at the short notice and the uncertainty of it all. My hubby occasionally works away for a couple of days at a time and I try to see the positive in it - watching all my soppy programmes that I have recorded and couldn't possibly watch if he was here due to the amount of 'tutting' I would hear and then him sniggering because I would be crying at my soppy shows, also, I cook what I want and actually have a few TV meals, so less cleaning up afterwards. I phone friends who I never get round to phoning. Obviously, as I said, mine is only a couple of days at a time.

    Also, on a more serious note, you might have to have some back-up plans in place. I don't drive and so when hubby is away I always make sure I have some money set aside for a taxi incase I need to take DD to A and E in the middle of the night. Have a spare set of keys either hidden or with a neighbour incase you get locked out. I'm also useless at house maintenance so I have the plumbers number in my phone etc. You will probably have to open his post when he is away, are you able to pay the bills that he would normally sort out?

    And remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder

  11. Likes FloraDora, Mrs Scrubbit liked this post
  12. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    1,978
    Registered Childminder since
    Nov 13
    Latest Inspection Grade
    Outstanding
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    I would be a wreck if my DH had to work away, he is my rock and I can't imagine functioning the same without him so, like you I would be fighting back the tears.
    Logistically you will cope I am sure, make up some meals at the weekend, like lasagne and shepherds pie, fish pie, chili, chicken cass etc..and freeze then just defrost and cook. Live on pasta in between that takes seconds .....
    It's the soulmate bit, you will have to organise FaceTime or Skype so that you can chat daily.
    He is also going to be so bothered about not seeing his family too, or his home comforts.....
    Perhaps you could try and embrace it into your planning and with your own children, with finding out more about where he is.....a map.....eat similar food at the weekend.
    It's soppy but on the odd occasion he has been away we have always had this thing that if we look at the moon we know each other are looking at the same moon, just from a different angle probably....it sort of links us, but then my DH loves looking at the stars through his telescope so I know he will be watching the night sky.
    These things are always sent for a reason, but it doesn't make it any nicer!
    My thoughts are with you
    Xx

  13. Likes Maza, Mrs Scrubbit liked this post
  14. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    369
    Registered Childminder since
    Sept 08
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Im a military wife whose husband frequently goes away on exercise, deployments and courses. He came home the other day to tell me he was flying to Uganda that night - thankfully it got pulled at the last minute. I have learnt to love every second with him and live it like it is our last as he may not be here later on. Our first year of marriage he ended up being home for 6 weeks in the whole year and missed the first 8 months of our daughters life. He spent the majority of my last pregnancy away and we are now awaiting a new deployment date. You are stronger than you think and you will cope. xx
    Reach for the Moon. If you fail, you'll still land among the stars

  15. Likes Maza liked this post
  16. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    645
    Registered Childminder since
    Mar 13
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    I was sayimg to my sister earlier that people married to someone in the military have it harder and I should just man up.

    I am quite looking forward to having some me time and being able to watch what I want, eat what I want, go where I want at weekends etc.

    The main problem is not knowing when he will be home. If there was a definite date that I can aim towards then that's fine.

    Also I've now got to sort out both cars being repaired and having mots done :-/

    I open and deal with his post anyway, he's useless lol. He's given me his online banking passwords so I can transfer money to the joint acc when bills go out and so if I run out of money I have access to his he's not sure whether he'll have internet access. Skype could be an issue if not, 3 weeks with hardly any contact will be hell

  17. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    North Wales
    Posts
    5,107
    Registered Childminder since
    Nov 07
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    You will be surprised how adaptable us women are. My dh went to Antarctica for 4 months a few years ago and we managed just fine. No internet and only one satellite phone on the base so very little contact at all.

    I won't pretend it was easy because it wasn't especially as he was away over Christmas but we survived to tell the tale. My life was so much easier if truth be told. I could go to bed each night knowing that the kitchen was still going to look the same when I came down the next morning

    Good luck

  18. Likes Chatterbox Childcare, Maza liked this post
  19. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    not where I should be...
    Posts
    10,845
    Registered Childminder since
    Aug 94
    Latest Inspection Grade
    Good
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    We women are resiliant. My DH went away for a week, the house stayed tidy for more than 2 hours once the little ones went home, no clothes to wash or iron, no flicking of the tv and best of all silence - enjoy it while you can
    Debbie

  20. Likes Maza liked this post
  21. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    South East
    Posts
    977
    Registered Childminder since
    Dec 02
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Are you able to FaceTime each other, or video chat? Once he is settled maybe you could organise a time when you and your children would be home, so you can have a chat together .

    The time will fly, you will get through it.

  22. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    hartlepool
    Posts
    472
    Registered Childminder since
    Jul 06
    Latest Inspection Grade
    good
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    My dh used to be in the merchant navy and did 3 months at sea and 5-6 weeks at home. First few days were always hard but then you find your routine and you will find that it's easier than you think. I enjoyed the peace and quite and not worrying about what I was watching on TV.

    You do have to be a bit more organised and get things sorted on a night for the following morning but you can do it x
    Love Amanda

  23. Likes Maza liked this post
  24. #15
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    649
    Registered Childminder since
    Jun 12
    Latest Inspection Grade
    Good
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    And on the positive side, I find that any time h and I have apart gives us a new appreciation for each one another and brings us closer. Will your dh have a period of time off when he gets home to compensate for working for such an extended amount of time? Could you book off a day or two for a long weekend away when he gets back (even for six weeks time, to make sure he will definitely have returned) to give you something to look forward to?
    Apologies for the random full stops. Phone buttons too small, thumbs too big.

  25. Likes Maza liked this post
  26. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Surrounded by pesky Smurfs
    Posts
    4,551
    Registered Childminder since
    Ex CM
    Latest Inspection Grade
    Outstanding
    Non childminder member
    01/01/09
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Can you not contact him at all during that time? Might find it useful to set up a Skype account so you can chat face to face. I'm sure the time will fly by
    Need a laugh? Visit my website: www.unclegargy.deviantART.com

  27. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Tunbridge Wells, Kent
    Posts
    1,378
    Registered Childminder since
    Sept 10
    Latest Inspection Grade
    Outstanding
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    I personally would use the time to:

    Have a good clear out of the house and maybe even toss out some of his junk (heehee)
    Get the girls round for a couple of evenings with a drop of vino and a takeaway
    Spend some mum time with my children
    Enjoy the TV remote being all to myself
    Eating and cooking what I want

    Oh the possibilities are endless....

  28. Likes Ripeberry, Mrs Scrubbit liked this post
  29. #18
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    1,978
    Registered Childminder since
    Nov 13
    Latest Inspection Grade
    Outstanding
    Post Thanks / Like
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mrsh3103 View Post
    I was sayimg to my sister earlier that people married to someone in the military have it harder and I should just man up.

    I am quite looking forward to having some me time and being able to watch what I want, eat what I want, go where I want at weekends etc.

    The main problem is not knowing when he will be home. If there was a definite date that I can aim towards then that's fine.

    Also I've now got to sort out both cars being repaired and having mots done :-/

    I open and deal with his post anyway, he's useless lol. He's given me his online banking passwords so I can transfer money to the joint acc when bills go out and so if I run out of money I have access to his he's not sure whether he'll have internet access. Skype could be an issue if not, 3 weeks with hardly any contact will be hell
    Wherever we are ....Macdonalds comes to the rescue. Free wifi...anywhere in the world...French Macdonalds serve lovely coffee....
    I am sure there will be one not far away...... Middle of no where Thailand ....Macci D ..with wifi... Only thing that draws me in there!!!

  30. Likes Maza liked this post
  31. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    645
    Registered Childminder since
    Mar 13
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    He has wifi at the hotel but because of the hours he's working and the time difference so far we've managed to skype once :-/ the kids still haven't managed to speak to him!
    He will be flying home the tuesday afternoon and back to work wednesday morning.
    It has been quite nice having the bed to myself and doing what I want but I'm now struggling. 2 weeks to go

 

 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Quick Links and Advertisements

Important Information Links
Some Useful Quick Links
Advertisements

 

You can also find us on:
Those of you that have DH's that work away how do you cope? Those of you that have DH's that work away how do you cope? Those of you that have DH's that work away how do you cope?

We use cookies to make this site as useful as possible. They are small text files placed in your browser to track usage of our site but they don’t tell us who you are.
By continuing to use this site you are consenting to cookies being placed on your computer. Find out more here: Cookies in Use

Childminding Help and the Childminding Forum are part of Childcare.co.uk