Think before you leap!

[bulldog]

Bit of a moan coming up so stop reading now if you're of a sensitive disposition!

I find myself and my family in a horrible/miserable situation, and I feel responsible.
I started as a CM almost 3yrs ago and left a reliable, reasonably paid job to do it. I wasn't altogether happy in said job but could have asked for a move but instead thought CM was the way forward.

To say its never got off the ground is an understatement!
I have only 4 children across the week, and to be honest that's enough! I discovered fairly quickly that its not for me, even tho I have some lovely Parents and Children. The thought of filling my house with maximum numbers leaves me in a cold sweat!
The CM in my area are well known and been doing it for yrs so generally get the phone calls for new children.

Im desperately looking for a new job but with little success and feeling trapped and frustrated.

My income is dire which in turn has meant lots of financial hardship and disappointments for my children. No holiday this year which is a first in over 15yrs!
My home has been impacted on over the last 3yrs in that we haven't decorated due to time restrictions (ie when no cm children are here)
And now we may also have to sell up and move to a smaller place!

Its also had impact on my marriage, mostly due to the stress of everything.

Id say to anyone looking at CM to think seriously at the impact it has on your family/home before starting up.
Its not all crafting and outdoor fun and games!
Its hard work for little reward and lots of uncertainty!

Im sure lots of people love it and are really successful (you only need to read posts on here to see that) but its not for everyone.

Sorry to moan

[shortstuff]

I am so sorry to hear it has been a negative experience for you. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is admit it isnt working for you so well done, IMO you are one sensible person.

Please dont apologise for moaning, we all do it at some point, me definately included.

I really hope you find something to suit you and the family soon x

[cathtee]

Can't say anymore than Gail, other than to send you some hugs

[Kirstylob]

Its hard to admit that something wasn't what you expected and wanted it to be, so well done for being strong enough to do that. Hopefully you will find something that suits you and your family better. Good luck and don't beat yourself up. Xx

[bindy]

Yes you are so right it's not all a bed of roses. I really hope you can find a new job that is more rewarding and less stressful for you. I feel myself, I get behind in lots of areas. I decided the children's well being, happiness, care, come's first, paper work, reports, journals etc comes second. Also a single mum, so have to fit in my child's needs too. Sometimes I read threads on this site and think Jesus I must be a rubbish minder lol I love working with kids but paperwork as taken over, child minders I know care so much more keeping records etc that the children have become second in their thoughts. Very sad! Sometimes I wished I could get out of this job too, even though I have worked with children all my life. My problem being earning enough money to live off. Good luck though, I really hope it works out for you!

[sarah707]

Oh hunny it sounds like you have got into a muddle Sending big hugs xxx

[bulldog]

Thanks for all your support!

I do my best to carry on during working hours with the children, but my heart is definitely not in it at all.

Im in a no win situation, have no money so need to take on more children. Knowing tho that im doing them a disservice because its not what I want and im constantly applying for other things.
The impact on my family has been huge and they have had a lot to contend with this last few yrs (GCSEs, A levels and Uni work) on top of being woken early every morning and babies in their home when they just want to chill!

I wish I could be more like some of you ladies/gents on here who clearly love the job and make a good living from it as well as dispensing good advice to others.

Hopefully something will come along soon!

[smurfette]

Thanks for all your support!

I do my best to carry on during working hours with the children, but my heart is definitely not in it at all.

Im in a no win situation, have no money so need to take on more children. Knowing tho that im doing them a disservice because its not what I want and im constantly applying for other things.
The impact on my family has been huge and they have had a lot to contend with this last few yrs (GCSEs, A levels and Uni work) on top of being woken early every morning and babies in their home when they just want to chill!

I wish I could be more like some of you ladies/gents on here who clearly love the job and make a good living from it as well as dispensing good advice to others.

Hopefully something will come along soon!

Think you are very brave to have come to a decision and its not an easy one! My advice would be if more children come along then take them on, don't worry too much about what would happen if you got a job as you will have time to give them notice and as we know parents don't give us a second thought if things change for them and this is right too, we must all look after ourselves and our own family first. Sounds like you could do with the money so this must be your priority and you will buy yourself a bit of breathing space. Can you ask the other local
Minders to pass on work they can't take on? Is there anything else you could do part time around the minded kids and your own like Avon, usborne books etc?
Hugs to you and keep us posted we are here when you need to sound off ! Xx

[The Juggler]

sorry to hear it isn't for you honey. it's different when it takes off and you are earning but harder when you don't enjoy it and it's also not bringing in money. you know 1 holiday missed in 15 years is not the end of the world. we didn't have one every year when we were kids.

chin up and keep looking for something that suits you xx