Father in Law - Dementia
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  1. #1
    md0u0131 Guest

    Default Father in Law - Dementia

    It is looking very much like my FIL has dementia. He's 69 a retired university lecturer in Biochemistry so a clever bloke and seems to be very rapidly going downhill. It's so sad, have just got back from a weekend with them and he's so much worse than last time we saw him which was only a couple of weeks ago. He took ages to remember my daughter's name and I worry about the time he won't recognise us

    He has an MRI scan this week and he's petrified about what it's going to show up.

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    Aww thats so sad, sorry to hear that. Its a terrible illness. My Grandad has got it, over the last four years he has got really bad, hes now in a home, he doesnt know who we are, he cant walk or speak its so sad to see him like that

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    I really feel for you. My dad has dementia, and like your fil he was a very intelligent man. He's 75 now. He went downhill last year, but out of the blue he's started picking up and improving. He now sits and reads the paper whereas this time last year he couldnt. Also we have normal conversations with him now, but a few months ago he kept calling me 'Hayley' (and not a clue where that came from). I dont want to give false hope, but the brain is so very complicated and no one can really tell whats coming next. Some days I feel heart broken and other days we have a laugh at some of the daft things he says. But lately its like he was never ill. So complicated. Its not easy. On the odd occassion he'll ask for his mums address so he can write to her (she died many years ago).All so unpredictable. Big hugs and lots of love, and pm me if you ever need a chat xx
    Julie X X

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    Sorry to hear about your FIL, fingers crossed for his scan, at the end of the day better to know what it is then at least you can see what help he can have and learn how to manage it better.

    My nana had it and some of the time she was completely lucid and then she would just come out with something completely off the wall like the time she told my mum the gnomes had been to the door and asked if she needed any help - bless her!

    Make the most of the good bits would be my advice. Chin up chicken, sending a big hug x

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    Hugs from me too. My husband was diagnosed when he was 52. He was 62 on Saturday and doesn't know me or anyone else.

    One of the men in his home is in his 40's and he was researching into why people got alzheimer's and Parkinson's Disease.

    Steve did spend a lot of time being upset because he knew something was wrong and he didn't know what and he couldn't get his thoughts 'straight'.
    Sue

  6. #6
    md0u0131 Guest

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    Thank you all for sharing your stories. He actually received a letter today from the neurologist, he has clinical symptoms of temporoparietal dementia and the scan is to see the extent. Does this mean anything? I know the temporal and parietal regions are to do with memory, language, cognition but what do they mean by extent?

    He had a really bad episode a couple of months back where he ended up in hospital with acute confusion - he was doing really odd things like he'd put his shirt on his legs but then he settled down again. He still does things like put the wrong words in sentences - he'd say something like "I'm just going to bottle my teeth" and not realise there is anything wrong.

    I feel devastated - I know he's not my Dad but I'm closer to him than my own Dad, my daughter is only 3 and I feel like she's losing a Grandpa she loves. His other grandchild is my nephew Sam who has severe epilepsy and developmental problems, I'm so angry that we've all been dealing with that and we've kind of missed the warning signs with him.

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    FRONTOTEMPORAL DEMENTIA

    This is a clinical term to describe patients with personality (frontal lobe) or language (temporal lobe) changes. It includes the specific diseases of Pick’s disease and frontal lobe degeneration amongst others.

    There is a forum called Talking Point which is for alzheimer's patients, family/carers. It was really helpful to me when Steve was first ill. They have factsheets there too. It's worth a look. You can join and talk to be people dealing with the same thing.

    It doesn't matter that he's not your Dad does it, you are obviously very close to him and want to help. It might be good if you can understand the illness. They may try him on drugs which could help keep it at bay for a while.

    Will you be able to go with him when he sees the doctor and ask questions?
    Sue

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    Quote Originally Posted by sue m View Post
    Hugs from me too. My husband was diagnosed when he was 52. He was 62 on Saturday and doesn't know me or anyone else.

    One of the men in his home is in his 40's and he was researching into why people got alzheimer's and Parkinson's Disease.

    Steve did spend a lot of time being upset because he knew something was wrong and he didn't know what and he couldn't get his thoughts 'straight'.
    omw sue that is such a young age - 52 and 40 - even 62. must be so hard seeing them upset knowing what is going to happen or not understanding it
    if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got

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    It's really horrible, he was always crying cos he didn't know what was wrong and I couldn't leave him at all, just had to stay indoors with him. I was his carer for 6 years. He lived life to the full before this.

    He's been past that stage for a few years now thank goodness.
    Sue

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    md0u0131 this is the alzheimer's website.

    http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forum...d-their-carers
    Sue

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    Sorry to hear about your FIL's illness. My grandmother (mum's side) had it and then my mum and now my Dad's mum has it but she is the oldest at 90yrs old.
    She just wants to make a hundred cups of tea a day and keeps asking who we are.
    Very sad and frustrating for all concerned. All I can suggest is seeing if he can remember faces in old photos and things that happened in the past. Also try and get him assessed by his GP asap then they can get some help in.

    I get worried about ending up like my relatives but I suppose I wouldn't know it was happening

    My Nan was only 72 when it started, died at 74 and my mum was 57 when it started and 66 when she died.
    Last edited by Ripeberry; 09-07-2012 at 10:31 PM.
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    I really feel for you. My Grandma had dementia and it was horrible, she had to be placed into a home and to see her sitting there not knowing who she was let alone us. She was unable to walk, talk, eat for herself, it's such a horrible disease and there is no cure!!!!

    She battled with Dementia for years and she too was a clever lady, why it takes the good ones I will never know.

    The only piece of advice I have is spend as much time with him as possible, every day changes and unfortunately it doesn't get better, sending you a huge hug I know how you feel xxxxx

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    Really sorry to hear about your FIL. I havent any first hand experience but fear my own dad suffering. Keep your chin up.

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    Sorry to rread about your FIL, my mum has alzheimers and although not at its worst at this stage she is slowly getting worse - been 2 years since diagnosis.

    Sue m has been a great source of information for me, especially when we first found out.

    My sister has just given up work to be mums carer - not full time needed as yet, but hoping she will be able to enjoy the next few years, or as long as possible with the care in place. days out and seeing friends which she can no longer do under her own steam, and making sure she takes her meds as needed as mixing up times and days is her weakness and frustration right now. She is 77 and alone otherwise as dad died in 2006

    every case is different so go with the flow and make the most of all the days you can x
    Happy to be back with the Greenies

 

 

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