This is really bad....

[Pandypops]

.....but I am not getting on with my first mindee He has been here for 8 weeks now and is 13 months old and he is really hard work. Always screaming, needing constant attention but still crying when given it, doesn't like to play or interact/engage etc... I have a 14 month old son so managing the both of them is really hard work and, to be honest, it is getting me really down.

I was so excited about childminding but it's not turning out to what I thought it would be. I have another child starting next week and then another in October so I am tempted to give notice for this one as i have really tried hard with him.

What do you all think - should I stick with it and keep my fingers crossed that he will improve, or shall I cut my losses

[Mamma4Ya]

It is your business and you have to be happy doing what you do. If you are not happy and you can afford to give notice then do. Are you able to stick it out until the other mindee starts to see if he settles down. Good luck with what you decide

[jayjay1963]

I had a baby start with me that cried all the time, never seemed to be content The only thing that kept me going was knowing that she was exactly the same at home! I have to say that 2 1/2 years on she is still with me and an absolute delight to care for Only you can decide if you can carry on so sending hugs

Jacqui

[Debbieanne]

It's never easy when they cry all day, my first 14mnth old lo cried for the first 3 months, but he rules the roost now and is 3 tomorrow i was about to throw the towel in with him but noticed he he was getting calmer, so i'm glad i stuck with it.
Everyone is different though!

[miffy]

It's really wearing when they cry most of the time especially if you have other little ones to look after too and it takes some children much longer than others to settle.

If you think back to eight weeks ago and then four weeks ago - are things any different now? If you can see some improvements and your nerves will stand it then it's worth hanging on.

Miffy xx

[Pandypops]

Thanks for your replies. Unfortunately, he is the same now as he was 8 weeks ago and my nerves are torn. It's horrible dreading him turning up everyday - it shouldn't be like that. I feel awful saying that.

I think I will give it 4 more weeks and if it doesn't improve then hand in my notice - 3 months is sufficient time to see if we can make it work I reckon...

Feels good to have somewhere to vent my issues

[breezy]

Have you spoken to the parents? Is mindee like this at home or anywhere else? If so how do they deal with it? Does ignoring him help at all? He might get sick of it if he doesnt get any attention for it!

[Chimps Childminding]

I know how you feel, thought don't really have any advice! I have a lo (8 months old) who only started 3 weeks ago (comes 2 days a week) He is fine as long as he is sat on my lap, but the minute I move to do anything for anyone he screams the place down (not a tear in sight by the way )

I am hoping that he settles down soon as I have another baby (also 8 months) starting properly in September and I am starting to worry how I will cope (though I know other baby is a very easy baby as he is already coming but on a different day).

Mum implies that he is fine everywhere else (goes to grandparents 1 day a week and home with mum other 2). Sticking with it for now, but will have to see how it goes

[Pandypops]

I have mentioned to the parents and his mum says "he likes lots of cuddles and attention all the time and he doesn't like not getting his own way". I should have replied that I do have another child and this is not possible but I didn't say much - silly me.

My son is not getting on with him now either as he is taking all my attention so that's not good either. Ah, what to do?!? I never quit on things but I think this one might have got the better of me

Thanks for all your comments!!

[OrlandoBelle]

I had a LO start with me the same age who cried constantly for the first 8 weeks or so. I completely understand what you're going through. At times I was pulling my hair out.

Mum used to just give him snacks all the time everytime he cried and admitted to me when he did start calming down that he has only ever been alone with her, not even with his dad and even said she now realises what a hermit he was as she never used to take him out ANYWHERE!

It was a big transition for him. We got through it by bringing some of his own toys in from home, continuing with the snacks if he became too unsettled... however I substituted the usual bisuits and crisps she was giving him with fruit and I also didn't pick him up when he cried.... actually it wasn't even a cry, just a contstant whinge. I started to ignore it and carried on playing with other children. When he saw it was getting him nowhere he began to join in playing with others and now he's completely settled.

He's now 16 months old. He still cries when Mum hands him to me at the beginning of his session, but the second she's out the door he stops and goes off to play.

It does get easier hun. I think you just have to perservere with it and not pander to his every whim how mum does. Sometimes tough love is the only way

[littleguy1]

U know, this post crossed my mind today! I had my first baby mindee today(11 months) and he must have cried for like 2 hours! Never left his mum before, then she leaves him with me for 8 hours. I thought here we go!! But after the initial crying he had his lunch, then his afternoon nap and after that, he was so lovely! I feel a massive sense of achievement today!!

[Pandypops]

Oh that's good - glad it went well for you.

I had the worst day yet - lots of crying and screaming. I had my new mindee come round for an hour settling-in session and he did not like that one bit - he was very upset that I had another child to give my attention to.

Ah well - it's the weekend so I am going to not stress about it for now!!

Thanks - you're all great.......

[khlwomitchell]

took me three mths to get my first to stop screaming at every sound over a whisper and crying when i moved away, put him on the floor etc. 4mths on just fine but he was 4mth at start and malable. At your one age it is hard to change thier ways in a short time.
My 20mth old son has never been spoilt ofr attention or hugs or anything, last of three so i'm a bit mercenary, yet he has become a clingy cryier!! its an age thing and it may get better?
has there been any improvement atall?

[angeldelight]

If its really getting you down then you know what you have to do

You need to enjoy doing what you are doing and do not need the extra stress if you have new ones starting soon

You have to do what is best for you and the other children and what is best for the little one too

Good luck with whatever you decide

Angel xx