Advice on Mindees please?

[daytimedolly]

Hi, hope I have placed this in the right section......
I am a relatively newbie to the Childminding scene. I now have two full timers, a 9 month old and a 22 month old.

What has put the doubt in my mind is my 9 month old's parents. They are finding it "extremely" impossible to leave her and the mother has been hyperventilating at leaving her daughter. They are so traumatised by leaving her, I receive texts in the day, I have to text them back and I just get a definite uneasy feeling that she will be "pulled" from me for the mother to give up work and look after her herself again. This will obviously leave me down a lot of money per month. Harsh but true.

This brought my thinking around to my question to all you more experienced childminders.

Is it "appropriate" do you think to ask parents how long they intend their child to stay with me? If I knew this then at least I could still carry on advertising and maybe catch somebody who is currently pregnant and I could have their little one next year or whatever. A kind of waiting list. I should have asked them when I first signed them up then it wouldnt have sounded so bad but too late now.

I dont want it to sound like Im trying to push them out but obviously want to try and keep the money rolling in for me and my daughter also.

Many thanks

Any advice would be great.

[theplayroom]

I too am fairly new to all this....personally i would definately word it differently i would ask to speak to parents together and say you know they are having trouble adapting, stress that the child is safe and happy and that you are following their routines etc, I would also stress that you are there for themt o support them through this time and that you would hate to loose the bond you have made with their daughter. certain dont make them feel alineated (sp) good luck and im looking forward to any pther sdvise coming your way!

Sally

[Alibali]

It's a really difficult thing for parents to leave their precious bundles, and at the moment the best thing you can do is be as reassuring and supportive as possible. If you build up a good enough relationship them the Mum will probably settle and stay at work, if you start asking thigs like when they might leave now, it may make her feel even worse.

Lots of empathy and understanding needed I think, send Mum some photos so she can see lo settled during the day and perhaps arrange to send a wee text at lunchtime just to reassure them, they must be finding it very hard. Be strong for them.

[Pipsqueak]

What a hard situation all round - for you and parents.
I agree with Ali - lots of reassurance for the parents - tell them that you will email them some photos every couple of weeks so that they can see what their child has been up to.
I know its hard to be confident in a situation like this, but the more confident you can be then the more the parent might relax. Perhaps have a quick chat and just say you are noticing that the parent seems to having difficulties in adjusting and is there anything you can do to reassure them. I think its a fine line though, because you cannot be jumping to text every few moments and you don;t want teh parent to expect this either. Perhaps you could arrange that they ring at lunchtime (a set time) so you can say yep child is sleeping, playing, just had lunch etc. But I would explain that sometime you can cannot get straight to the phone/reply etc if they ring.

[BlondeMoment]

I always advise my parents to make their goodbyes quick and painless as it's easier on both the child and the parent. Dragging out goodbyes just builds and builds the tension and anxiety. I explain this the first time they leave them and assure them I'll send a text within the next half hour to let them know how they're settling. Within half an hour the child is usually distracted and fairly happy. I sometimes send photo messages to parents showing their child happy and having fun.

Knowing how long they'll be with you is a hard one to ask. Best thing to do is agree a notice period in the contract so you'll know in good time how long you've got until a place comes free. The horrible thing about being self employed is that work can drop off at any time. Just have to keep a few pennies aside for a rainy day

[daytimedolly]

Thank you for all your advice. I agree that dragging out goodbyes builds tension and anxiety, it was awful with the baby and the father last week. He wanted her back about 5 times for cuddles and by that time the baby didnt know where she was. I have to send both father and mother a text each lunchtime, along with replying to any they send in the day.
I dont think I want to go on much longer without having a chat with them really. Im sending pictures, a daily diary of what she has been doing and texting and verbally communicating. What more can I do? Not really sure

Thank you again

[PixiePetal]

Thank you for all your advice. I agree that dragging out goodbyes builds tension and anxiety, it was awful with the baby and the father last week. He wanted her back about 5 times for cuddles and by that time the baby didnt know where she was. I have to send both father and mother a text each lunchtime, along with replying to any they send in the day.
I dont think I want to go on much longer without having a chat with them really. Im sending pictures, a daily diary of what she has been doing and texting and verbally communicating. What more can I do? Not really sure

Thank you again

How long have you had this mindee?

[Ripeberry]

Sounds like you are doing quite a lot for them. Wonder if any other CMs have ever had a parent who wanted web cams installed so they could check up in the day?
Some nurseries do this...I think. But then it is a step too far

[BlondeMoment]

Sounds like you are doing quite a lot for them. Wonder if any other CMs have ever had a parent who wanted web cams installed so they could check up in the day?
Some nurseries do this...I think. But then it is a step too far

Webcams!!!! Oh my God! Thats a massive invasion of privacy for a private home.