parent debating holidays- first full day contract

**joannes** · 17-04-2014, 04:26 PM

Well this week has certainly moved fast.aside from my dbs FINALLY turning up (still waiting on hubby but hey ho least I know they actually exist now lol) but I've also had 3enquiries. 1 is a friend of my husband who wants half a day for their daughter pretty flexible on which day. Another I got today not sure on hours but sounds llike a few hrs to give mum a break and let him mix with peers. The other one is right on my doorstep with a lovely mum and toddler who is my sons age.initially she wanted a day and a half a week I arranged a home visit and we went through all the usual stuff.later she emailed to say she was so impressed and confident she would like to use me for 3 days instead of nursery. Her only concern was my holidays. She is a teacher and needs term time care. However I am planning on having 4 weeks off in my first year,spring 1week in easter hols 2 weeks in summer hols and a week in Dec. Obviously the first two aren't a problem but my winter one I envisage working right up to xmas eve so wanted a week beginning of Dec to give myself a rest and allow me to get ready for xmas. Clearly there's loads of notice but she would have to find alternative childcare for 3 days of the year which I don't think is unreasonable.however she's messaged today saying its the only thing that's putting her off. My husband says I can't afford to be fussy as obv it's taken me miles longer to register than we thought but at the same time I feel I'm only having 4 weeks off I should be able to take them when I want/need to and 3 of them already accommodate her needs.am I being unreasonable to not budge or cutting my nose off to spite my face? What would you do and how would you word your response? I just feel come xmas I would be stressed to the max and rushed off my feet more than I would be otherwise for the sake of 1 parent finding alternative childcare for 3days.although having a full day child would be great and her son seemed lovely.

**Allie** · 17-04-2014, 04:35 PM

I have just lost out on work because I take some of my holiday in term time, however this was the first time in almost 24 years as a cm it has been an issue

**Koala** · 17-04-2014, 05:06 PM

You have to do what suites you, from my experience, teachers will not want to be without care during school time so either you give her what she wants and you go without your planned break or stick to your hols and if she is so inflexible for the three days in December (can't dad have lo?) she will have to go elsewhere. You have to decide now how you are going to work: are you going to work around everyone when they disagree with your hols? or would you expect a bit of give and take from your parents? for me it would be the latter especially if I had already planned my break and with so much notice, if you want to stick to your guns I would say you had already planned/paid for your break and unfortunately on this occasion you are unable to change it as it would also let down and put others out too - apologies and all that.

If I were her and I wanted you and thought you were the best for my child - I would work something out for the December holiday. No question.

**joannes** · 17-04-2014, 05:19 PM

Thanks guys I will go with my gut.at the end of the day she was sooo enthusiastic when she saw my menus and types of activities and my little boy but I understand she can't change her days off but similarly other parents can't have time off in xmas week.it would be disappointing if I lost a parent for the sake of 3 days but likewise it is a busiess and I can't please everyone. I'm not sure what job dad does. But she hadn't mentioned it.her message came across a bit ultimatum-y in that she wouldn't take the risk if I had term holidays. Would love a crystal ball haha

**chris goodyear** · 17-04-2014, 06:29 PM

Just wanted to say that you will never please everybody (or the only way to do it is to never have a day off!) I have teacher's children - more than one family - and I take one week in term time in a year and that's because it's a timeshare week so I have no choice. They all manage to make other arrangements for this one week so it can be done. What would happen if you were off sick? We try our best not to be ill but hey sometimes it even happens to us! I also have a couple of families who only need holiday cover and one wasn't happy that I take holidays in school holiday time! So you can't win. Do what's best for you and even if it's inconvenient for parents if they want you they will find a way round it.

**karen2010** · 17-04-2014, 06:38 PM

If a prospective Parent is already trying to dominate proceedings and they get their own way,they will always try to dominate you !!!
Stick to your guns the right Parents will come along if she doesn't choose you.
Very hard when you first start out as you are so keen to take your first clients on, but you have to remember it's your business, your rules, you don't work for the Parents, they pay your fees big difference !!
Good luck xxxxx

**FloraDora** · 17-04-2014, 07:06 PM

Teachers often end up living and working away from their original 'home'.
They often meet their partner at University so the likelihood is that husband also isn't living near family,so.....alternative childcare is often not an option! Teachers often marry teachers!

They cannot take anytime off for anything during term time.

So when choosing a CM the important aspect is holidays, if you are taking time mid term this year, what might you be doing in future years? She has to take that into account.

It seems to me that you are best to say no to this one and find families not restricted to school holidays.

As a retired teacher I understand the issues, my wonderful CM had a back up friend who my children knew and liked in case of any issues during term time, as she understood my predicament ( all family 300 miles away). Perhaps you could offer a back up plan?

But don't think badly of her if she is wary of your holiday plans. It is a major issue for teachers.

**karen2010** · 17-04-2014, 08:04 PM

I take your point Flora but ALL families have different priorities and as it's impossible to please everyone you do have to do what's right for your individual circumstances !
Although when I started last year I booked one weeks holiday in June and that was it - when you are starting a new business I do think you have to make sacrifices, I just don't like being dictated to !
Xxxxx

**loocyloo** · 17-04-2014, 08:16 PM

If mum really wants you she will sort something out. You have given alot of notice of the date.
I have teachers children and if I can't work for some reason a friend will help out or with pre booked dates, family come to stay. Do you know any minders who might be able to cover for you? And offer to help mum find care for that week.
We also don't have any family within 250 miles so have to rely on friends or have family to stay when we need help!
Xx

**joannes** · 17-04-2014, 10:02 PM

I understand it's difficult.when I was teaching I had issues enough when my son was rushed into hospital, and you end up not wanting to call in any favours but I have asked friends on the odd one or two days usually when let down by husbands family.dad works shift work somewhere so not a teacher they're not together so not sure on family either side.I just feel that 3 days out of 365 isn't a huge compromise when she has said she thinks I'd be perfect for her son.I am charging the same price as local nurseries and have said that childminders Ogden attend the same playgroup so the children become familiar and I would pass on details of a colleague so she has backup if I were ever ill or couldn't mind when she needed but she said she wouldn't feel comfortable with this.would be a shame but I am going from 13 weeks hols to 4 this year and have my own toddler and don't want to burn myself out by not taking a break every few months and seeing how it goes.

**natlou82** · 18-04-2014, 07:05 AM

Originally Posted by FloraDora

So when choosing a CM the important aspect is holidays, if you are taking time mid term this year, what might you be doing in future years? She has to take that into account.

Joanne's, I do think if you decide to take on this lady you would also need to think what holidays you may want to take in future years. Would you be happy to restrict yourself to holidays in school hols only? If not I see this becoming more of an issue down the line. Like you I'm new and you want to say yes to everyone, so I can see why this is a tough decision. Good luck with what you decide x

**ziggy** · 18-04-2014, 07:13 AM

It's a hard one if you need the work. Then again I agree with other replies. I minded for a teacher, took my holidays to suit hers, even gave up a week of my holidays when she gave birth to last child. Then last December we had a disagreement and she gave me 4 weeks notice!!!!!!!!

I understand where she is coming from but think you need to do what is best for you

**joannes** · 18-04-2014, 07:17 AM

Well my boy is 2 at the moment and in the future I'd probably want school hols for my weeks off so we can have family time but for the next year or two I wanted 1 week beg December and the rest in school hols.probably as my son gets older I might want xmas-new year off instead.there's no bank hols from august to xmas so unless I took half term off I wouldn't have any time to visit friends and relatives etc struggled when I was teaching but at least finished earlier for xmas.

**joannes** · 18-04-2014, 08:00 AM

I've sent a message basically saying that I understand her concerns but that having 4 weeks a year I need to plan carefully and while 3weeks work out well there are 3 days of the year where dad friends or family may need to help out but that in future years this is likely to decrease if anything. Would anyone recommend offering to work their hol but charging more? Has anyone done this? I'd rather not lose a lot of hours but also don't want to set a precedent

**Kiddleywinks** · 18-04-2014, 08:00 AM

This parent doesn't want you to have x or y week off, what do you do when the next parent doesn't want your alternative, or the parent after that struggles with your changed dates?
Do you have a back up childminder that can cover for your time off? Problem solved

Sorry, but I choose when I have my holidays, I don't charge for them, and I work damned hard between breaks so definitely earn them.
Mum has been given plenty of notice, and so has plenty of time to organise an alternative.

You can please some of the people some of the time, but if you try to please everyone, you'll have a nervous breakdown then you'll be taking 6 months off and everyone will struggle

**karen2010** · 18-04-2014, 08:53 AM

Totally agree !!!
Stand firm !
Your business you have to start out as you mean to go on.
I'm a great believer in what will be,will be.
If this Parent doesn't work out another will come along that will!
Not sure what u mean about working their hols ?
Xxx

**Mouse** · 18-04-2014, 09:17 AM

I can see this from both sides, but basically, if mum wants you to have holiday in school holiday time only and you are having time off during the school term, it just means that you're not the childminder for her. No one is right or wrong, you're just not offering the service she needs and she doesn't require the service you offer.

**joannes** · 18-04-2014, 09:18 AM

My husband is now coming round to my way of thinking.haven't had a reply from her as of yet. I meant if she genuinely could not find any other childcare and wasn't happy with backup then would anyone advise working "overtime" on your week off I.e charging extra as you're giving up 2 or 3 days of your hol. Like you all say you can't please everyone and don't want to treat her differently to other parents. She has the security at nursery but is aware that you get more 1-1 and variety and visits with a childminders and convenience of me being so close so it's the only downside she'd have to deal with really. Guess it's up to her now.

**karen2010** · 18-04-2014, 09:30 AM

I wouldn't charge 'extra" as if you are working then you are not technically on holiday!
Wait and see what happens,give her time to think it over,sometimes Parents come back to you with a positive answer !
Xxx

**HTSMumma** · 18-04-2014, 09:48 AM

What about if/when you're sick and can't work? What will she do then? You can't foresee when you're ill, at least you're giving her (a lot of) notice that you intend to take 3 days leave.
What if you go down with a sickness big within the first week of care?!? What is she going to do then?!

I can understand her view point to a certain extent, but she's not looking at the bigger picture. Sounds like she is a 'nursery' mum. However, my local nursery would charge her throughout the year, including the time that the nursery closes for bank holidays and Christmas.