I am sat here... tired...and upset :'(

[leeanne910]

ok ok i am just probably venting here

i used to be a nursery nurse over 4 years ago now... and since then worked in a childrens centre. I am now jobless after maternity leave has ended and wanted to start my new venture being a childminder and putting all the good practise i know well - into my service as i want to be the childminder i would have/did want!

I went on the courses in april when tristan my youngest was 4 months old. As well as being mummy - breastfeeding - the house wife doing ALL the chores and caring for the children and doing all the cooking i then sit and do some paperwork - you know risk assessments polices any other forms i want in place BEFORE im registered as i know time will be tight and i need things in place before im registered so that it doesnt get on top of me....

Well ive done loads all ready i have about 16 - 17 policies and procedures. i have all my forms typed up that i want such as medicine form smoke detecter check fire drill log visitor log etc etc etc.... i have been tackling risk assessments today and there a couple more bits but im so tired :'( i feel i am NEVER gonna get there.... each day i am struggling to find time (tj isnt sleeping too well and even though he has lots of playtime with me - he never wants to just play or 'explore' just lately and just wants mummy constantly) and... im finding it hard... i want to sit and play and make a mess with him and hear him giggle - but i really need this stuff done as its a shadow over my head!!!... then...theres chores and cooking...i do it all!!!!!!!! i have said to OH i need him to help as when i do have children i am not superwoman and need his support of an evening and that right now i need his support in caring for the children while i get this stuff done... all i get is "i been to work all day lifting and using machinery blah blah".... urgh.... well.... im not getting paid for the stuff im doin mate!!!

SORRY FOR MAKING YOUR EARS BLEED GUYS!!!!!

Think im just too sleepy and i need to call it a night!!! and turn the laptop off (though everyone is asleep now and its the PERFECT time to get things done)

anyone else had these struggles?? i hope there is light at the end of the tunnel!!!!

[cathtee]

I'm so sorry you're finding it a struggle and it's getting you down, It's a lovely job when you get to do it
so persivere and if you need to come on here and vent, we are very good listeners.

[Sarahbelle]

Right hunny, first of a big virtual hug to you. And breathe..

It sounds to me like your little one has separation anxiety and needs constant reassurance from you. This is a stage that will pass although it is hard going while he is in the throes. No one else but mummy will do. Been there, several times.

As for the the Childminding Stuff. Make a list of what you want to do, needs to be done. And do it one thing at a time. There's no rush and you are putting pressure on yourself. Relax and make time for yourself even if it just a hot bubble bath at the end of your long day.

And best of all there is the forum. There is always someone here to listen when you are feeling stressed.

[gegele]

you're trying too much too hard!

pick a time of day i.e. your son nap time and pick 1night a week.

at nap time this week do 1-2 risk assessment a day: do kitchen/ bathroom 1 day, front room/ living room and garden the next, outing by foot after that outing by car after that...

pick 1 night where you can put print and put things on file.

I did LOADS before getting registered and the EYFS came up so i had to change loads.

DO NOT over do it as you're going to be sick of it before you start. do enjoy your son before the guilt of other children comes.

RELAX

[silvermist]

Please dont try to everything at once, like the others have said, choose a night or good time in the day and dedicate that to paperwork. It will get easier hun, promise. And this forum is the best for advice and resources. xx

[lozzy23]

Big hugs to you xxx

Definitely good advice from others, try to do a bit at a time.

[missymood]

It all takes time to get all the paperwork sorted and your little one still needs a bit of time with you too.
Get a cleaner and ironer when you childmind you'll never regret it hun.

[The Juggler]

i would give dh a serious talking to. you NEED his support if you are going to do this. Ask him if he wants you to earn a wage this way. If so, you WILL but only ifhe pulls his weight - then tell him you need him doing x, y, z.

If he is not going to do this tell him he'll have to support you all

[blue bear]

I can't understand the "I've been at work all day"
What does he think you have been doing? You work at home doing all the chores, children, business prep etc. why should you continue through the evening with no help from him, they are his children too, you didn't make them on your own

As for paper work, decide on the minimum you need and work to that, keep it simple, things grow over time, things change constantly and there is no point running yourself down trying to be business person of the year, mostly no one notices.
You and your family should be number one priority.

[miffy]

Hope you feel better just for getting it off your chest

I know you want to get everything sorted and do your very best but the others are right you don't have to do it all at once - you'll just end up resenting the time it's taking and be fed up with it all before you start childminding.

You definitely need your dh's support too, so see if you can have a chat with him this weekend - he needs to understand this will be your job just the same as he does his and he'll need to pull his weight at home too.

Miffy xx

[mama2three]

Im sorry honey but although the paperwork 'burden' does ease once all the policies and RAs etc are in place , once you are minding you will be just as tired and 'torn' between work and your sons needs. You need to get DH on side now. He needs to understand that what youre doing now , before your house is invaded by little people and their families and all the extra stresses that puts on a household , is vital.

I know it sounds harsh - I could say oh dont worry sweetie it gets easier - the truth is it gets 'different' but not easier. I havent had a great deal of support at home until the last few months when I was at rock bottom and I think DH finally realised after several years that Im working a 60 hour week too!! Please tackle your DH now , dont leave it like I did. I had support from the great people on here , and some good friends , or I would have walked away from everything.

[ziggy]

Big big hugs.

It's such a shame husbands/friends/other family dont realise what hard work it is coping with a baby and working from home.

Such good advice already given, this is a great site for support.

Hope you have a better day today

Oh and getting a cleaner once you start is excellent idea

[Memina]

Oh dear babes this could have been me writing this 3 years ago!

He will come round my Dh was so against CM but now my business is doing great and whenever I need support I tell him as me cm has made the difference between nice treats and good holidays.

Don't push yourself too much and just take it one step at a time

[leeanne910]

Thanks guys

feel better this morning even though me and oh not talking as i have things to do the weekend but he wud rather do.somethin else...i do try to do stuff while tj sleeps...but he only sleeps hour in the am and hour pm if im lucky. then of an evenin i spend ages tryin to get him sleep...i jist needed a moan...i wish jay did more but its always down to me.
thanks for all.ur support u lovely people x

[leeanne910]

Thanks guys

feel better this morning even though me and oh not talking as i have things to do the weekend but he wud rather do.somethin else...i do try to do stuff while tj sleeps...but he only sleeps hour in the am and hour pm if im lucky. then of an evenin i spend ages tryin to get him sleep...i jist needed a moan...i wish jay did more but its always down to me.
thanks for all.ur support u lovely people x

[SarahJellybean]

Glad you feel better today, you sound like you are quite organised anyway just your hubby needs a bit of a kick up the bum. I usualy try crying stomping aroun and generally sulking till he gets the picture.

[lisbet]

I'm finding it a struggle and I haven't even got a baby to care for!

I decided to go back to work as a cm rather than a practitioner in a children's centre because I really believe in the value of cm's care, and it also means I can be there for my own children too, and *fingers crossed* when I have everything set up and some income it will all seem worth it...but in the meantime I am feeling so stressed - not to mention trying not to get demoralised about what the government is trying to do to cm's.

Sorry to add my own woes to your thread and pp's have given you good advice hope things seem better soon x

[leeanne910]

hugs lisbet!!

i working in a CC and for action for children and every year now ppl are made redundant... you just cant win any where....

well... i have nearly done today!!!! 2 more RA to do, print things off and file and planning and im DONE!!!! feelin SUPER... i am super....hey who am i kiddin... i am superwoman lol

[lisbet]

Yay! So pleased for you!

Make sure you have a well earned relax tonight