"Clicky" childminders

**claire250182** · 14-09-2012, 11:07 PM

Anybody else have a problem with clicky cms in their area? I joined our network a while ago and there were 5 cms there who have been minding for years and are very set in their ways. They didn't make me feel very welcome as I was the new girl on the scene and a bit of competition I guess. The way they spoke to me was that I should do things their way or not at all. I charge more than them (only 50p an hour) and they made it clear they were not happy with this and that I should drop my prices to match them. Sorry, but I will do things my way. I have no problems getting kids and I am not willing to work for £2.50 p.h. I only went a few times and never went back. They now all blank me at school. It can be very off putting for new childminders if they attend a group like that. Why can't people just get on and be welcoming? x

**gegele** · 15-09-2012, 06:58 AM

you being dearer doesn't affect their business, it's even better for them. the only difference is that you make more money

jealousy!!!

school gate click and childminder click even more!!! it's sad but that's the way it is unfortunately. i went back to messy play friday and no one spoke to me!

i tend to avoid indoor playgroupp because it's depressing

**FussyElmo** · 15-09-2012, 07:01 AM

Clicks are everywhere childminders, school, toddler groups, gym etc. Just smile at them and move on

**CH1957** · 15-09-2012, 07:20 AM

The short answer is YES!!

I dont go the groups anymore, if I see any of them out I'll say hello but thats are far as I go now. I wont be dictated to

**miffy** · 15-09-2012, 07:33 AM

I think it's one of the reasons this forum is so successful - its welcoming, friendly and you can get all the info or advice you need.

Miffy xx

**stargazer1** · 15-09-2012, 07:36 AM

Originally Posted by miffy

I think it's one of the reasons this forum is so successful - its welcoming, friendly and you can get all the info or advice you need.

Miffy xx

This is the only childminding network I use

Pipsqueak · 15-09-2012, 08:05 AM

Yes , the established cliques around here are hilarous and if your face don't fit then you ain't 'gettin in'

they think they are something special and all powerful and to a degree they are.

guess who's face doesn't fit... yes yours truely but guess who they all come to (behind each others back) to get confirmation, support, advice etc.... lol

**bunyip** · 15-09-2012, 08:15 AM

Yes. I know of some like this in my area.

TBO, I could probably make better use of my time than attend a group but am rather obliged to go for 2 reasons. My development officer's hours have been drastically cut, so CM group is one of the only ways left of seeing her regularly. My DO has advised that I'm expected to be a member of a local group if I want to gain accreditation.

I know of one group nearby (that I don't attend) that is so clicky that they actually boast of making complaints to Ofsted about any CM working in their town who won't join their group. And to join, you have to agree to their 'vacancies coordinator' arranging all enquiries from parents. It's insane. Why would someone want to be self-employed then submit to that kind of dictat?

I also know of one whose members have been barred from a local church toddler group cos their clickiness extended into the toddler group. They all sat together, took over the baby corner, and wouldn't talk to anyone else. The last straw was when they were trying to dictate to the church on how to run the toddler group. They were told to leave, and I hear they've now all moved onto another one and started over again!

I find it quite pathetic. Mine aren't that bad but still make it clear that I don't really belong in their group cos I don't do things their way. I'm definitely sidelined as the 'outsider'. As far as I can tell, they all have the same fees, terms, policies, etc. They were not at all pleased that I did things my way and still did well at my first inspection. I used to try and help by passing on enquiries that I couldn't fit in, but I've stopped cos the responses were so rude - they were blaming me if the enquirer wasn't asking for something that suited them perfectly.

Don't get me wrong, there are some nice people there. But the stronger personalities have set the agenda, and the weaker ones have just given in to "the way we do things round here". I think that's what happen in all clicks. They can't actually stop me attending, and I try to go just often enough to keep in touch with my DO and count as a member when I apply for accreditation.

**FussyElmo** · 15-09-2012, 08:20 AM

I also have the belief if i dont fit into the "click" I am still doing things right

**rickysmiths** · 15-09-2012, 11:33 AM

I think we are quite lucky around me as far a cm are concerned. There is only one cm who doesn't mix with anyone but her friend who is my friend as well!!!

We go out and about with our mindees and meet up 2 or 3 times a week.

She goes to my friends house to do craft activities with her and they do the photos and obs together. (saves her doing it at home no doubt

) My friend did her sef for her and as my friend got Outstanding no doubt will be being tapped because this woman is due an inspection. She doesn't go out much at all with the mindees, collects and delivers home so parents don't have to come into her home and she undercuts all of us!! I wouldn't send a child to her.

**PixiePetal** · 15-09-2012, 12:24 PM

I have nothing to do with most of my local CMs as 'someone' reported me to Ofsted (I was cleared after much grief) No way do I want anything to do with people like that

I have a bunch of trusted long time friends who are CMs and we do our own thing - our own little clique

don't live in each others pockets, do our thing our own individual ways but meet up to play and lunch or at farm park every now and then

**migimoo** · 15-09-2012, 07:17 PM

I feel really sad reading this

whatever happened to Girl power?

I run a toddler group that quite a few CM's attend and I hope we don't come across as cliquey-we all pass enquiries on,help each other out with paperwork,etc the only CM who was snooty stopped coming as soon as I registered last year

-she had an outstanding grading but never joined in with advice and insisted she didn't do ra's,weekly obs so we shouldn't bother...hmmmm,really??!

So sad that some CM's act worse than the children they care for!

**bunyip** · 16-09-2012, 07:58 AM

Originally Posted by migimoo

I feel really sad reading this

whatever happened to Girl power?

I run a toddler group that quite a few CM's attend and I hope we don't come across as cliquey-we all pass enquiries on,help each other out with paperwork,etc the only CM who was snooty stopped coming as soon as I registered last year

-she had an outstanding grading but never joined in with advice and insisted she didn't do ra's,weekly obs so we shouldn't bother...hmmmm,really??!

So sad that some CM's act worse than the children they care for!

With respect (and at the risk of getting flamed) I think "girl power" is sometimes part of the problem.

When I was pre-reg, the development officer tried to arrange for me to visit a couple of CM groups to chat and ask questions. Both refused, claiming the lame excuse that it was because I wasn't CRB checked at that point. Yet both groups had happily fulfilled the same DO's requests for pre-reg women to visit, both before and after refusing me.

I've become used to training events where the very last seats to be filled are the ones closest to mine (or maybe I should shower more often?

) I chat with the trainers at coffee break cos no-one else will talk with me. Day 1 of my first aid course, nobody would pair with me for practice. Day 2 they all wanted to, cos it had become apparent that I had 15 years' experience of dealing with casualties, whilst the rest of them barely had a clue.

To be fair, the trainees were not all CMs, but mainly nursery staff and teachers. I'm fully aware that women have had to put up with a lot of prejudice. Just saying that "girl power" has it's unpleasant side too.

**LittleBuds** · 16-09-2012, 09:44 AM

I found it really lonely when I first became a CM last November, I spent months going to different toddler groups to see if I could spot childminders and get talking. I found lots of lovely parents, but the childminders I found said pleasantries but then made sure I knew they had no room in their group for anyone else.

Thankfully I found a few like minded childminders at easter time and since then I've always felt I have someone to talk to, go out for picnics with and have play dates. The network I am involved in is still a bit of a joke, there hasn't been a meeting in months and it needs a bit of a shake up in my opinion. I'm all for going in there and doing it myself but I've just embarked on my Diploma so need to wait for that to be done before I take on any more work.

Local childrens centres normally have a good sense on who is a 'nice' CM, perhaps you could get in touch with them and see if they drop any names you've not heard before. This site is great but it's also really nice to have someone you can go and have a coffee with whilst the children get to share their toys with others. I've just been told the locals CM's do a christmas party - I'm over the moon as I don't know many people in the area and last year I had no work socials.

**cathtee** · 16-09-2012, 01:00 PM

Hi Claire I notice from your location you are from same as me, our childminders playgroup always welcomes new minders the more the merrier, I will pm you and invite and if it's local for you come see

**Ripeberry** · 16-09-2012, 01:40 PM

When I started to CM I had a mentor for a year and she was very helpful and made me (still does) feel part of the group. We go to Xmas parties most years together and even one of the council early years team comes along as well.
I've not really met any 'clickey' CMs. Its just that sometimes they just have their friends around them. If I see any new CMs I try and make friends with them

**dawn100** · 17-09-2012, 10:56 AM

I ran a toddler group for over 8 years and sadly over that time I saw many different cliques,not just amongst childminders but also amongst parents. At times within some groups it was very much if you don't fit our type you're not welcome (ie to old/young, rich/poor, wrong fashion etc) As the organiser of the group I would deliberately change the layout of the room to stop any groups almost claiming an area as theirs.
When people found out I was becoming a childminder I had two different childminders on the same day come and talk to me one to tell me that there was too many childminders and more were not needed as it risked putting them out of business and the other who told me that more good childminders were needed as she was always having to turn people away.

**migimoo** · 17-09-2012, 04:58 PM

I agree-if i allowed it then there are some who'd just sit in the same spot every week and ignore everyone new...i find this so weird even more so now i'm a childminder,the more childminders we can call on for advice/holiday cover the better surely?

The few childminders at my son's school barely speak to me now i'm a cm so competition and no longer a potential client but stuff em!

**VeggieSausage** · 16-10-2012, 05:06 PM

I would say that I am not in a clique, I don't like it and am friendly to everyone. I am mega busy and doing my level 3, have my own children and work full time. I have recently had 2 new childminders texting and asking me if they could come round constantly and it was making me feel very anxious as I just felt so busy I couldn't commit myself to anything or anyone else and what with a new baby having trouble settling in and an assessor coming round every few weeks. Anyway instead of doing what I usually do which is say yes to everything I decided to be honest and say I am really sorry but I am so busy at the moment I really haven't go time to have anyone over and one of them stormed off saying 'well excuse me for trying to get to know local childminders' and the other one was in a huff as well and sent me a horrible text saying she wasn't interested in my paperwork if that was my problem (?) just wanted some company.....oh dear I handled that badly!

**migimoo** · 16-10-2012, 08:55 PM

I met a new childminder about 6 weeks ago and have tried 2/3 times to arrange a meet up but she always says she can't make it-last week sent her a txt asking if she wanted to meet at the local park for an hour and got this text back...."sorry,I can't-I AM REALLY BUSY!!!!" oh,ok then I get the message love!

did bother me for a few days I must admit.