Holding a Knife & Fork in the correct hands?

**AliceK** · 05-04-2012, 02:12 PM

Hi

What do you think about this:
7yr old who is right handed but when eating, holds his fork in his right hand and knife in his left hand. He is comfortable doing this and manages just fine this way. However his dad has told him it's the wrong way and he should be holding them the other way around and is trying to make him do this. LO said he can't do it that way around. It feels too awkward for him. Well I wouldn't have much success either if someone asked me to swop around the way I hold my knife / fork either.
So, do you think it matters? Is there a correct way to hold them in a "right" way???
What are your thoughts?

xxxx

**snufflepuff** · 05-04-2012, 02:15 PM

I don't see why it matters?!
I'm right handed but hold my knife and fork as though I am left handed. My Dad is naturally left handed but eats right handed. My 3 year old DS still swaps...he can even use scissors in either hand!
I really don't see why it is 'wrong'!

**singingcactus** · 05-04-2012, 02:35 PM

Originally Posted by snufflepuff

I don't see why it matters?!
I'm right handed but hold my knife and fork as though I am left handed. My Dad is naturally left handed but eats right handed. My 3 year old DS still swaps...he can even use scissors in either hand!
I really don't see why it is 'wrong'!

I'm like this too, so is one of my twins - don't remember which one right now. But my husband used to have a big issue with it, I just told him to back off and find someone else to micromanage. Who cares which hand he uses, I don't get it when people feel the need to interfere with something that is fine and does not need interfering with. Tell the dad to get a grip

It's not broken, don't try to fix it, cos it'll end up being broken.

**jumping j** · 05-04-2012, 02:47 PM

my mum has an issue with this but I don't see why it matters, as far as I'm concerned as long as they are using a knife and fork correctly what does it matter which hand they are in?!?!
I have seen so many lo's at schools unable/unwilling to use a knife and fork at all, I'm just grateful that they can use them at all

**LauraS** · 05-04-2012, 03:06 PM

Don't see the problem personally. I'm right handed but eat left handed, but my daughter is LH and eats RH. I'm always setting the table incorrectly

but other than that, if table manners are good, why should it matter?

My dad is a leftie and was forced to write right-handed as a child, which made him miserable and didn't work!. I gather this was the norm back then (1940's/50's)

onceinabluemoon · 05-04-2012, 03:15 PM

My sons both eat with the wrong hands, but I don't care as long as they don't eat with their mouths open or drop food...

I've seen kids who eat with the utensils in the right hands spit food back onto the plate when they didn't like it (and when mentioned to parents being told that was ok!!). I know which I would prefer, lol

You could point out to parents that it's quite common in boys to do some things left handed and others right handed.

**Kiddleywinks** · 05-04-2012, 03:29 PM

I have a left handed DD who eats 'right handed' and a right handed DS who eats 'left handed'

Not sure what that says about me

**AliceK** · 05-04-2012, 03:40 PM

Thank you for all the replies. You have all said what I thought. It's actually my DS that I'm talking about. He goes to his dads every other weekend and when eating his tea last night told me what his dad had said last weekend. I was livid to be honest, I couldn't see what the problem was and told DS to ignore what his dad had said and carry on as he has always done. I'm glad you all agree. I'll be speaking to his dad about this

Thanks

xxxx

**migimoo** · 05-04-2012, 03:44 PM

Everyone in my house is right handed but both of my children eat with their knife and fork the 'wrong' way round-no reason why as they've not been taught to eat this way just one of those funny things...and judging by their friends so called table manners when they visit, holding them the 'right' way doesn't matter in the slightest-i'm sorry but sometimes i'm convinced i'm the only person in this town who thinks the words "please" and "thank you" are a normal part of daily life!

**PixiePetal** · 05-04-2012, 04:06 PM

I use them 'left handed' too. Cant' do it the other way and never been asked to swap

DS is the same but DD and DH use cutlery the right handed way. We all write right handed - but DH throws darts left handed

I do use a knife in my right hand to slice bread but can't carve a joint of meat as carving knife and fork both go in my right hand then! and I don't do deserts which need a spoon and fork

I think I am a bit muddled all round though as I pour a kettle with right hand unless I need to hold a spoon at the same time in which case I have spoon in right hand and kettle in left. Also as a child I did gymnastics and all set routines hd to be reversed for me as I did cartwheels left handed which is not the norm and my left leg was my lead leg for the splits

Maybe I am really left handed but write right handed!!

As long as a child uses cutlery not fingers then I don't think it really matters - although I do get funny looks in restaurants if I swap it all round

**miffy** · 05-04-2012, 04:27 PM

I think it goes back to "most" people are right-handed so knife should be held in right hand as that's the strongest hand so easier to cut food up.

I'm right-handed but throw darts with left hand and hold a tennis racket in my left hand too.

Miffy xx

**Stormy** · 05-04-2012, 04:57 PM

Im right handed but hold cutlery the left handed way. I remember meal times when i was about 7 sat in tears with my dad shouting at me. Until my mum eventually lost her temper with him and he backed off. As an adult I still can not co-ordinate my knife and fork the correct way it just feels wrong.

**janminder** · 05-04-2012, 05:57 PM

I am left handed writing but eat right handed, in fact I am more right handed than left in daily tasks. My husband is very left handed and had his hand tied behind his back in the late 1950's like LauraS dad and it affected him alot and is sure thats why his handwriting is not too good.

I would always let a child write/eat how it comes naturally.

**lozzy23** · 05-04-2012, 06:27 PM

Both my DS's are right handed, but eat left handed.

My DH was born in Austria and attended a kindergarten, he was left handed and had his hand strapped behind his back and that was in the 1970's.

**Bridey** · 05-04-2012, 06:40 PM

As a fellow lone parent I fully appreciate how you feel but maybe you need to have a chat with your son about whether it is something he can live with one day a fortnight or not? Is it that important an issue in the grand scheme of things?

My ex and I have been apart for 12 years and yes, he does things that I do not necessarily agree with (like McDonalds lunches and fizzy drinks

) but generally, overall he's a good doting father and my son loves him. In his house its his rules - like its my rules in my house. My son is with me 90% of the time so my rules have much more influence!

We try not to argue about the small stuff so when I do have a go (like the time my son came home with a BB gun ... that WON'T be happening again!) he knows I really mean it. Criticising his parenting skills would be seen as an open invitation for him to do the same back and I don't think the constant bickering would have done our son any good. Sometimes you just have to swallow the less important stuff to maintain a healthy parent partnership. I know its hard x

**AliceK** · 06-04-2012, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by Bridey

As a fellow lone parent I fully appreciate how you feel but maybe you need to have a chat with your son about whether it is something he can live with one day a fortnight or not? Is it that important an issue in the grand scheme of things?

My ex and I have been apart for 12 years and yes, he does things that I do not necessarily agree with (like McDonalds lunches and fizzy drinks

) but generally, overall he's a good doting father and my son loves him. In his house its his rules - like its my rules in my house. My son is with me 90% of the time so my rules have much more influence!

We try not to argue about the small stuff so when I do have a go (like the time my son came home with a BB gun ... that WON'T be happening again!) he knows I really mean it. Criticising his parenting skills would be seen as an open invitation for him to do the same back and I don't think the constant bickering would have done our son any good. Sometimes you just have to swallow the less important stuff to maintain a healthy parent partnership. I know its hard x

We've been apart since DS was 9mths old, there's a lot of history, he's an alcoholic bully and DS is a very sensitive little boy and he doesn't need someone telling him he's wrong because he holds his knife and fork in the "wrong" hands. It's sometimes the little nit picking stuff and making children feel like they are doing something wrong when they're not that can affect them in the future. I am quite a strict parent when it comes to the basics, good manners, respect for others etc but I do not and will not allow others to belittle my children and tell them the way they do stuff is wrong when it's not. If DS has told me about this and is worrying about it and has asked me if he's wrong to hold them the way he does then I know my DS and I know this is bothering him so I will say something. Also just found out that his dad whacks him around the back of the head when he does / says something wrong and DS is understandably not comfortable with this. As a parent who doesn't smack or hit any child I am also now livid about this but need to calm down a little before I speak to his dad about that

xxxx