Parent won't leave

[ukroo]

Please give me some advice. i have a parent who is really lovely but she will not leave when she comes to collect her daughter. i dont mind 10 minutes or so, but she stays for at least an hour, sometimes more. i've tried telling mum i have to do this, or go out, but she still carries on. i've tried having her daughter all ready to go home so mum doesnt come in but she will still stand in the hall and continue talking. what else can i do?

[angeldelight]

Stop calling her into the hallway maybe?

I had a parent who was the same so I now have children ready at the door for parents

You will need to stand in the doorway so she can not come in?

It is difficult because you do not want to be rude but sometimes they do over stay their welcome

I am sure loads of us have been in your situation before

Angel xx

[Tatjana]

Open the door, don't let her in, have the child in front of you, pass her over, then say "I must dash, see you tomorrow" and shut the door quickly.

[karensmart4]

Oh my goodness, I do feel for you I've had the same problem (Mum isn't even lovely )

I've tried everything too but short of being downright rude I could do with a few pointers as to what to do as well

I don't mind 10 mins that's what I would call pass over time... but come on haven't they got homes they want to go to?

The only night mine goes relatively quickly is a Friday when she knows I normally pack up to go and visit relatives some distance away.

Will watch this thread with interest, sorry I couldn't be of any help

[The Juggler]

tell her you cannot chat so long in the evenings, a quick update chat is all but then you have to care for the other mindees/sort out your tea.

say "I'm sorry I have to shoosh you out of the door but I have to get back to making the tea, doing the washing etc, etc. " then, shoosh her out of the door

[fluff1975]

Eak. I think you need to just be honest and tell her. Not easy to do but definiately necessary!

Does she collect at the end of your working day? If so you could start along the lines of, "It's lovely to discuss (child) and put the world to right but lately we've got into the habit of chatting the day away! I'm finding that its affecting the time I spend with my family (if that's the case) or it's preventing me from sorting my home and getting ready for tomorrow (doing paperwork, updating LJ etc). As lovely as it is, I think we need to keep it to 5 or 10 minutes from now on."

Keep us posted, I'm sure there must be others with clingons.

[blue bear]

If she was a child who wanted to eat all tge chocolate out of your cupboard would you just stand back and let her?
Tell her just like you do the children.
If you dont tell her then you can't blame her really you are giving her the message it's ok.
So you say, I dont mean to be rude and of course if there is a problem I will make an appointment at a mutually suitable time to discuss things but I really can't chat at the end of the day I need to get things tidied up and sort things out for my family.
When she next comes in and continues to chat say sorry I've got to get on, email me if you like.

It's not rude to be firm, you need to take charge or you'll resent it big time.

[rickysmiths]

I would add the hour to her next invoice at the late collection rate!

[BucksCM]

Ditto what Ricksmiths said!

[flowerpots]

I agree with rickysmiths too

[miffy]

I think you have to be blunt but if that doesn't work I'd do as Rickysmiths suggests

Miffy xx

[mushpea]

i would stand in the door way with the child and shove em out when she arrives and if this dont work then send a general letter out to all parents saying that collection time over 10 mins is eating in to your evening and time with other children and therefore you would appriciate quick collections and drop offs and they are to arrange a meeting for a time that suits all if there are important issues to discuss

if that dont work then being down right rude will have to do

[RedDragon]

yesterday I had a parent who was 15 mins late (my last 2 mindees of the day), she was really put out when I stood stopping her path - she wanted to sit down on my comfy sofa in MY time - No No No you don't.


Definitely put it in your newsletter.

[Bridey]

In 12 years of childminding I have never had a parent to sit down on pick up!! We've stood and chatted and gossiped and laughed ... but never sat down. Parents develop these habits because you've allowed them to. In future I would advise to have the children ready for collection and never sit down yourself at pick up time.

If they are in your hallway and are talking, position yourself so they are between you and the door. Keep taking small steps forward. You are invading their 'body space', the zone we keep around ourselves that people who are not intimate with us should never enter. Their natural reaction will be to take a step back. Keep doing this, nodding and smiling at their chitter chatter, until they eventually fall over the threshold. Works a treat!

[nikki thomson]

hi, an hour!!!!! good grief that would drive me insane. now my mindees mum can be abit of a nightmare, don,t get me wrong i like to chat (ask my hubby) but at the end of the day i don't want to stand there for 30 mins chatting about how she hates her boss (he does sound awful) so after 10mins i usually say something along the lines of come on A time to go lets get your coat and shoes on, or i do say quite alot i don't want you to think i'm shuffing you out the door but i really have to get on i've got kids homework/spellings to do etc and she usually then says oh yea yea sorry come on A.
it is hard because i don't like to appear rude but sometimes i just can't get rid.

[funemnx]

In 12 years of childminding I have never had a parent to sit down on pick up!! We've stood and chatted and gossiped and laughed ... but never sat down. Parents develop these habits because you've allowed them to. In future I would advise to have the children ready for collection and never sit down yourself at pick up time.

If they are in your hallway and are talking, position yourself so they are between you and the door. Keep taking small steps forward. You are invading their 'body space', the zone we keep around ourselves that people who are not intimate with us should never enter. Their natural reaction will be to take a step back. Keep doing this, nodding and smiling at their chitter chatter, until they eventually fall over the threshold. Works a treat!

Good one Bridey! Made me chuckle!

[nokidshere]

Its not really what you say but how you say it. I have parents who stay and chat - and sometimes I allow them to because I am happy to. If I want them to go quickly I simply say "right come on you lot, off you go, you have worn me out and I need to put my feet up" with a smile and a pleasant voice. It always works.

[miffy]

In 12 years of childminding I have never had a parent to sit down on pick up!! We've stood and chatted and gossiped and laughed ... but never sat down. Parents develop these habits because you've allowed them to. In future I would advise to have the children ready for collection and never sit down yourself at pick up time.

If they are in your hallway and are talking, position yourself so they are between you and the door. Keep taking small steps forward. You are invading their 'body space', the zone we keep around ourselves that people who are not intimate with us should never enter. Their natural reaction will be to take a step back. Keep doing this, nodding and smiling at their chitter chatter, until they eventually fall over the threshold. Works a treat!

I can just picture it!

Miffy xx

[Shar]

Lol, been there!! I do the same, put mindees coat on, hand over their bag and say" got to crack on, off you go & see you in the morning". Good luck!!

[Pipsqueak]

Can top that - 4 hrs a parent stayed with me... this was waaaaaaaaaaaaay back when I was green !