Physical handling/ restraint

[Lick'le Oakes]

Hi Can anyone advise me on how far we can go please. Tonight I have had an incident with a mindee while picking him up from school, he was throwing a huge temper tantrum in the classroom. The boy is five with behaviour issues, I have only been minding him for a week. I feel the situation was handled inappropiately by the school. Now I am worried if the mindee does the same thing at my house. I need to protect him from hurting others but also himself and I am wondering what is the "right" thing to do, really want to give notice but I also know he has been passed about alot, has home issues, he is only a child, needs stable consistency etc etc. I'm just not sure if I can handle him if it happens at home, I feel if I hold him, restrain him than that is wrong but on the other hand if a three year old was standing on the window sill trying to get out the window, then I know I would just lift him down., as a five year old can I still handle him. I'm sure if I did this the child would twist this and tell his mum I have hurt him, any advice please

[nessynoodle]

When you say he has issues....are these issues that the parents have openly discussed with you? If so talk to them about how they handle him first. Ask them what they feel is appropriate. If you are keeping yourself, him and other children safe you should be able to restrain him. Write episodes like this in detail in an inncident book for parents to sign. Explain to him afterwards why you had to take him away from the situation/be sligtly firmer than you normally would be. Try to tackle this behaviour with support from parents, the school...There is a reason he behaves like this and probably needs a safe, secure relationship with someone he trusts and ca talk to. You need to find out what his needs are and do everything you can to meet them. It is dificult but its a shame for him to be passed around, he deserves the best care and imagine how lovely it would be if in a years time you can say wow, look how far he has come with my support. Remember all children need LOTS OF POSITIVITY!! And its hard to always find positive things if they are difficult children, but make sure you do find them, however small, and do EVERYTHING to encourage them.

[The Juggler]

i think you need to sit down with mum and dad to discuss this hon. does he have diagnosed/statemented issues? is there an IEP at school.

I would discuss with parents the issues with behaviour and what your concerns are and that in a safety situation you would need to use reasonable restraint procedures but no more than necessary.

If school have an IEP - do you share this with them. I might even ask parents if they'd be happy for you to speak to school with them or alone so you can all make sure you are using same behaviour strategies.

If you are not happy school is handling things appropriately I would ask them questions about why they do it this way.

good luck

[wendywu]

I think we can use physical restraint if the child is a danger to themselves, other children in the setting or a danger to us.

But this should be in your policies.

[chez]

I would speak to the parents and get an action plan built up it only needs to be something as simple as:

If X does XYZ then these are the steps to take:

If there is no imediate danger ....

1) ensure your other mindees are in a safe place

2) then verbal calming down

If there becomes a danger to himself or other children or belongings then...

1) continue to use verbal communication to calm throughout with lots of reasurance.

2) restrain to ensure that the child can cause no harm

etc

get both the parents and yourself to sign it.

you will need a clause on it that says that it may not always be possible to stick to this action plan as the child may do something that is not predicted on it but if this is the case you will deal with the innicident calmly and that you will to your best to ensure the safety of the mindee and other mindees at all times.

[EmmaReed84]

My son (6)has issues with conveying his emotions particularly frustration and anger, we are just now going through the doctor and have got a referral as the school has raised concerns. He is not violent and does have lashing out temper tantrums, but just has meltdowns were he cried uncontrolably and can't seem to get across what he is feeling...

...Anyway I know the situations are not the same, but we are trying some new things and seeing a different, albeit a very slight difference but a difference none the less. We have small laminated picture cards of emotions with "I am feeling angry" "I am feeling frustrated" "I am feeling upset" etc. We had a chat with him over the course of about a week talking about how it is ok be "feel" anger, hurt, upset it is totally normal. But we showed him some different ways to convey his emotion before having a meltdown. He will come to me, still looking quite upset and hand me a card. I give him a cuddle and tell him how special he, that it is ok to feel what ever he is feeling and when he is ready can he tell me what is up. He still has a wobble but I try my best to calm and soothe the situation, once he tells me the problem I give him some ideas on how to resolve the issue.

It has taken time and we are still a long way off, but I can see him slowly being able to mange it on his own without having to give me a card... I would say about 70% of the time he still has meltdowns and goes in to one, but that is better than 95% of the time, which is what it was.

I am still looking for ideas and how to deal with it, so will be keeping a close eye on this thread