What do i say?

[samkeddy]

Hi,
Just looking for some advice on how to approach parent, There are numerous things that are building up, she looses nursery letters that need returing, doesnt hand letters back in time (i take and collect mindee mon-fri so all contact with school is through me) she always forgets school library book, and the last one is now officially 'lost'!!
Twice she has fetched mindee in pj's as 'not well enough for school'. (both times mindee has been fine, in my harsh opinion mum just didnt have time to get her ready so didnt bother). She comes half hour before we set off for school and breakfast is supposed to have allready been had at home but mum often leaves saying 'theres bread in her bag for toast' and i am allways handed her bobbles and expected to do her hair.
So this morn mum arrives 15min late, 5 min before we start to get ready to leave. Mindee in PJs, hair not done, bread in bag!!!!!!! And some excuse about it been mindees fault cos she'd been playing wi mums phone and flattened battery????? No idea what that was about?????
GRRR
Please help lol!!!!!

[miffy]

Maybe this parent is badly organised herself or maybe she is taking the easy option and just leaving it all to you - whichever, the more you do the more I think you'll get to do.

Put your foot down and tell her that lo must be dressed and ready for school including breakfast when she arrives at your house as you don't have the time to do it for her. Be firm and stick to it - if she arrives with lo still in pj's then insist mum dresses her - if this will make you late then say you have to leave and mum will have to catch you up.

Miffy xx

[mama2three]

what Miffy said!
And if shes not well enough for school shes not well enough to be at your setting so send her home!

[Tippy Toes]

I agree with above, you need to nip this in the bud now or it will get worse.

Tell mum you can no longer dress little one/do her in the morning, your working day does not allow it, there is simply not enough time.

Also tell her that you only serve breakfast up until X time as you have a daily routine you have to follow.

Good luck, hope you get it sorted xx

[The Juggler]

time for a sit down meeting hon. Tell her it's not good enough. You have your own children to get ready in the mornign and other children to care for and dressing and doing hair is not part of your job.

[Mouse]

Some parents are very disorganised and some just can't be bothered. Either way, it's not up to you to make up for it.

With regard to school, I would tell them that you can no longer be responsible for letters, books etc, so will they email everything to mum to sort out. If mindee has lost books, suggest they don't send any more home.

In the mornings I would tell mum that her late, disorganised arrival is causing you all to be late, so you're going to have to come to some other arrangement. Suggest she sends mindee with a cereal bar if she hasn't had breakfast, so that she can eat it on the way. Not ideal, but better than you having to make toast.
Also say that she will have to have mindee dressed and ready when she arrives as you just don't have time to do it.

I would then talk to mindee. How old is she? If she's in nursery, she will at least be old enough to know she has to get ready in the morning. Do a star chart for her, with her getting a sticker if she comes to you dressed, hair done & having had breakfast. Tell mum you're going to do it, but word it so that you're doing it as a favour to mum (ie. look, I'm helping you speed X up in the morning). Mum can hardy refuse if you say you're doing it for their benefit! Even if mindee can't get herself completely ready, she should be able to nag mum!

Whatever you do though, be firm. The more you do for this family, the more they will expect it. Make them take responsibility themselves by being firm about what you will & won't do.

[mushpea]

if their not well enough for school then their not well enough for mine,, and if they come in pjs just as we are about to leave then I would start getting the others ready and tell mum she either quickly gets her changed now or she will be in pjs on the school run, as for breakfast i would take it to school and ask them to give it to her as eating whilst walking is not a good idea due to choking etc.

[samkeddy]

I would then talk to mindee. How old is she? If she's in nursery, she will at least be old enough to know she has to get ready in the morning. Do a star chart for her, with her getting a sticker if she comes to you dressed, hair done & having had breakfast. Tell mum you're going to do it, but word it so that you're doing it as a favour to mum (ie. look, I'm helping you speed X up in the morning). Mum can hardy refuse if you say you're doing it for their benefit! Even if mindee can't get herself completely ready, she should be able to nag mum!

Thanks everyone im just so scared of having to say anything and coming accross as funny!! I do try to be helpful and dont mind mindee coming in pjs in school hols etc but there is a line been crossed recently but its hard to say so!!!
Really love this idea above though thankyou, mindee is 3 and not the brightest but will still understand this (i think ) and it will be a nice subtle way of making mum see what needs to be done and like you say worded right can come accross as for their benefit, will def give it ago!
Thanks

[ziggy]

I would ask for meeting with mum and explain how you feel.

[Mollymop]

You are going to have to be really firm with parent and start telling her that you are not happy to do mindees hair, breakfast, get her dressed etc in the mornings.
If you let her carry on like this she always will.

If it had been me this morning when mindee arrived 5 mins before school run time in pj's and her hair not done I would have told mum to go home and get her dressed as I it will make me late for school! I think she is being very rude and disrespectful to you x