Not allowed to go too Toddlers.

**little chickee** · 06-12-2011, 09:17 AM

I mind 2 brothers. Both have had quite bad colds over the last couple of weeks but are now getting better.

oldest boy is troubled with asthma when he gets a cold.

Mum is blaming me taking them to toddlers for them catching a cold and now says i'm not to take them til they are 100% better.

thats 3 weeks now that i've had to miss. she doesnt want them mixing anywhere with other kids so no toddlers, soft play, friends house etc. I'm feeling really housebound and unhappy.

I've not been sleeping well and really feel like i need to get out the house to keep me alert otherwise i just want to sit on sofa and sleep!

What would you do? Go along with the parents wishes or stick to my routine and go?

**Velleity** · 06-12-2011, 09:23 AM

I would be out of the door and on my way to groups .. however I would have first informed parents that was my intention. There is absolutely no need to remain at home if the child has a cold.

**EmmaReed84** · 06-12-2011, 09:23 AM

I would talk to the parents and reach a mutual agreement. I can understand her not wanting her kids to get ill again so close to xmas, but again I know how it feels to not go anywhere.

Just explain the importance of the kids getting out and getting fresh air, being couped up with not make them any better. Cant you go out for a walk to the park with them, wrap them up nice and warm, you get out the house, they get the fresh air they need and not stuck in a small room where they can catch more bugs.

**rickysmiths** · 06-12-2011, 09:46 AM

Simple, if mum doesn't think her children are fit enough to take part in my daily routine she should keep them at home.

I wonder how she would feel if the boot was on the other foot and one of the other parents had said no toddlers? I bet she would have been up in arms if her little ones were grounded for weeks.

I would have said no and carried on going out. I bet all the Christmas parties are next week and there is no way I would let los miss those.

**AliceK** · 06-12-2011, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by rickysmiths

Simple, if mum doesn't think her children are fit enough to take part in my daily routine she should keep them at home.

I wonder how she would feel if the boot was on the other foot and one of the other parents had said no toddlers? I bet she would have been up in arms if her little ones were grounded for weeks.

I would have said no and carried on going out. I bet all the Christmas parties are next week and there is no way I would let los miss those.

Agree

This is what I would be telling her. She cannot dictate that you can't go anywhere and you can't do your regular routines. She's being totally ridiculous if you ask me. Kids get colds all the time especially at this time of year, get a grip woman (her, not you!)

xxxxx

**jane5** · 06-12-2011, 09:58 AM

Is she serious

I would be telling her that if her children where not well enough to attend groups and participate fully then they are not well enough to attend.

If she wants to dictate where they go everyday she needs a nanny. I would go insane if I had to stay in with lo's every day and I think the lo's would too.

**ziggy** · 06-12-2011, 10:05 AM

I agree, i would tell her that if her children arent fit enough to join in activities/groups then she should keep them at home

**nikki thomson** · 06-12-2011, 10:08 AM

Originally Posted by jane5

Is she serious

I would be telling her that if her children where not well enough to attend groups and participate fully then they are not well enough to attend.

If she wants to dictate where they go everyday she needs a nanny. I would go insane if I had to stay in with lo's every day and I think the lo's would too.

Totally agree, abet if you say there not well enough to come to you they'll make a miraculous recovery and are now fine to go to toddlers and mix with other children, some parents have very funny ideas. X

**little chickee** · 06-12-2011, 10:37 AM

I feel a bit torn really cos they are really nice parents - they are neighbours and we get on well.

I can appreciate that she doesnt want the older boy to be asthmatic again but i can't just stay at home 4 days a week.

what happens when they are better and we go back to toddlers and they get a cold again - will i be banned forever?

very grumpy today esp as i crashed my car into a wall last night.

**rickysmiths** · 06-12-2011, 10:40 AM

Originally Posted by little chickee

I feel a bit torn really cos they are really nice parents - they are neighbours and we get on well.

I can appreciate that she doesnt want the older boy to be asthmatic again but i can't just stay at home 4 days a week.

what happens when they are better and we go back to toddlers and they get a cold again - will i be banned forever?

very grumpy today esp as i crashed my car into a wall last night.

It is hard when parents are nice but you can't stay at home for 4 days a week and deprive the other children of toddlers.

Sorry about your car.

**The Juggler** · 06-12-2011, 01:28 PM

i would point her to your sick ness policy hon, which I am sure says something along the lines of "if children are not well enough to join in normal activities then they must be kept at home"

**Ripeberry** · 06-12-2011, 01:39 PM

Ditto all of the above and remember YOU are the boss, you are not her nanny. If the kids are so ill,then they should not be with you. No way would I let a parent dictate what I could do, especially not weeks on end

Pipsqueak · 06-12-2011, 01:40 PM

Originally Posted by The Juggler

i would point her to your sick ness policy hon, which I am sure says something along the lines of "if children are not well enough to join in normal activities then they must be kept at home"

might be worth pointing out though when you say children should be 'kept home' that it doesn't mean YOUR home though lol

no way would I be going along with being told that I can't go somewhere especially if THEIR child is poorly

**Ripeberry** · 06-12-2011, 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by rickysmiths

It is hard when parents are nice but you can't stay at home for 4 days a week and deprive the other children of toddlers.

Sorry about your car.

Sorry about your car. But the parents are being unreasonable. What have they been doing the last few weekends then? Have they stayed at home?

**It's a small world** · 06-12-2011, 02:05 PM

My ds suffers from asthma and has attacks if he gets a cold so this time of year the worst but I would never stop him from going school ( in case he gets a cold - no diff to going playgroup apart from group occasional and school everyday ) you cannot prevent them catching colds they are all around at the moment. My point being would she stop child going school incase he gets a cold from a friend?? As long as you have inhales and what ever medication required . Know what procedure to take should an attack take place I would take them group. Obviously say to mum first . And if she says not well enough to attend groups or daily routine then not well enough to attend setting. Why should others miss out plus bet mindee feels they are missing out because mummy days no . Xx

**little chickee** · 06-12-2011, 02:13 PM

Thing is they are both much better this week - not unwell at all.

she just wants to be 100% sure they are all better before i go back to the groups.

I had to cancel a trip to soft play last wednesday too that my kids wanted to go to. I just have these 2 just now so i can't use the excuse of impacting on others either.

**PixiePetal** · 06-12-2011, 02:17 PM

Originally Posted by little chickee

Thing is they are both much better this week - not unwell at all.

she just wants to be 100% sure they are all better before i go back to the groups.

I had to cancel a trip to soft play last wednesday too that my kids wanted to go to. I just have these 2 just now so i can't use the excuse of impacting on others either.

but they are impacting on your routine and your own children. I would not let my children miss out on things because of this - you are a CM not a nanny

if they are not well enough then they should be at home.

Pipsqueak · 06-12-2011, 02:47 PM

Originally Posted by little chickee

Thing is they are both much better this week - not unwell at all.

she just wants to be 100% sure they are all better before i go back to the groups.

I had to cancel a trip to soft play last wednesday too that my kids wanted to go to. I just have these 2 just now so i can't use the excuse of impacting on others either.

they are either too poorly to be out (ergo with you) and about and exposed to germs that help them build up a decent immune system OR they are well enough to be with you and joining in a normal day.
No way no chance would my kids or other mindees whose parents pay me, be missing planned arrangements for ONE family.

by 'impacting' that doesn't mean other mindees, it means you and yours.
you are NOT a nanny - if they want this then they can pay nanny wages
you are NOT a nurse either

'impacting' is NOT an excuse - its a justifable reason for not accepting the children into your care. if they don't want their children doing something 'just in case' then I would be politely suggesting that they take that 'impact' and let it rest upon their working lives (or however they spend the time when the children are with you)

**miffy** · 06-12-2011, 02:49 PM

I think the parent is being unrealistic - I wonder if she is staying home all weekend with them?

It's not fair to expect your children to miss out on trips because these children might catch a cold. I understand an asthma attack can be very scary but if they are not fit to join in with your routines, outings then mum should keep them at home.

Miffy xx

**AliceK** · 06-12-2011, 04:04 PM

Originally Posted by It's a small world

My ds suffers from asthma and has attacks if he gets a cold so this time of year the worst but I would never stop him from going school ( in case he gets a cold - no diff to going playgroup apart from group occasional and school everyday ) you cannot prevent them catching colds they are all around at the moment. My point being would she stop child going school incase he gets a cold from a friend?? As long as you have inhales and what ever medication required . Know what procedure to take should an attack take place I would take them group. Obviously say to mum first . And if she says not well enough to attend groups or daily routine then not well enough to attend setting. Why should others miss out plus bet mindee feels they are missing out because mummy days no . Xx

Agree. My DD is the same but I still let her go out and go to pre-school. They have an inhaler for her and we all know what to do should she get bad. I also have a mindee the same. How on earth will this mum cope when the child goes to school

xxxx