Untrue complaint

BuggsieMoo · 07-10-2011, 06:55 AM

Hi All

Had a bit of a run in with a parent last night over something that was totally untrue. The basics of it was she came into my house at collection time and started abusing me verbally in front of her own child and another mindee over something that was unfounded. She terminated contracts with immediate effect. I don't need to go into details but it was so untrue it was laughable. She also changed her story when she spoke to my registered assistant.

My question's are as follows:

1) I have notified Ofsted of what actually happened as well as asked my witness to write a witness statement as they witnessed this all and a previous verbal attack from her. This is because she advised she was making a formal complaint. She is basically very opininated and I disagreed with something to do with my own child (basically because it was something we had tried before and it had not worked - therefore I advised this but said I was open to other suggestions) and she took it as a personal insult. Sorry - but I know my child better than her. She then started to say I bullied her child and called him a xx on a daily basis - all totally untrue and indeed his daily diary says how happy he is with me, he can't wait to come and at weekends asks to come - hardly a bullied child! Do I need to do anything else re Ofsted? Also how do I log this as a complaint in my complaints file as it was verbal. Sorry have never had a complaint before from a parent.

2) I use NCMA contracts and I am their member. I am insured however through MM. She has stated she will not pay her 4 weeks notice pay. Bearing in mind that the contract at point 25 states if it is necessary to cease childminding immediately, payment must be made in lieu of notice. Therefore i feel I should chase her for payment. Any thoughts?

I personally feel that this has been a long time coming and that yesterday was engineered to terminate a contract without having to pay by making false allegations about me. I will fight this every step of the way in respect of false allegations as they are so untrue and I am so pleased I actually had a witness to all of this. I've worked very hard in my job and I am very proud of it and I will not let another individual ruin all I have achieved when it is so untrue. Had it been true thats another thing but it is not.

I think the thing that annoyed me the most was yesterday my husband left to go to Afgan. I've been very honest with parents and offered to not have their children on that day at no cost as I would clearly be upset (some even suggested this themselves). Or they could send their child but be appreciative that we were all saying goodbye in the morning and I was not going to be this all singing and all dancing childminder. She chose to send her child, played the sympathy card with me and then had a go cos I cried when my husband left! Apparently it was not fair on her child to be in a negative atmosphere - hello hence why I suggested no childcare yesterday.

She then sat outside my house for 15 minutes with her child laughing her head off (again witnessed by more than one person). Not bad for a child who left my house so distraught cos I apparently bully him and call him a xx!

Any advice would be greatly received.

Thanks

Lisa

**sarah707** · 07-10-2011, 07:03 AM

You need to write it all up including the history behind it.

You need to ask your assistant to write it up as well.

If you are insured with MM and have NCMA membership then you could ring both of the legal helplines for some balanced views about what to do next.

Definitely draw up the bill and post it so it requires a signature at the other end.

No texts, no facebook, no messages. Keep everything to written letters from now on.

I understand you don't need this at the moment with your hubs leaving it must be awful but try and stay focussed - you know it's lies so deal with it as dispassionately as you can.

Hugs x

TheBTeam · 07-10-2011, 07:09 AM

Think Sarah has covered all the advice so just to give you big hugs, some people are just to evil for this world!

**munch149** · 07-10-2011, 07:21 AM

I agree that this seems like a made up complaint to not pay the notice as similar happened to me. Already had the money but they made complaint to try and get it back. Stick to your guns. Contact your insurer. Ofsted won't get involve in money matters and when thy discover this is the case the case will be closed. Your insurer may be needed however if she takes the matter further. Take her to small claims court but first write her a letter stating the amount owed and when it's due by. Send this recorded delivery so you have evidence you have sent her a reminder. Just mention that unpaid fees may result in the involvement of the small claims court. She may not have actually made a complaint to ofsted yet (this was the case in my situation, I informed them first) and may decide that it's not worth the hassle when you remind her how far it could go. Hth.

**mama2three** · 07-10-2011, 07:32 AM

I think sarahs covered the practical side honey , just wanted to send some huggies and say we are here if you feel like talking. It sounds very much to me like she deliberately waited til hubby was out of the country so she didnt have him to back you up also!
Hope youre ok x

**Carol M** · 07-10-2011, 07:47 AM

I agree with Sarah, try and keep it on a professional footing from now, even tho it feels like such a personal attack.
You have obviously had issues with this parent before, good for you for logging that, and you have a witness to this attack. What a totally dispicable parent, she will get her come uppance!
Hugs to you at this emotional time.
Carol xx

**Blaze** · 07-10-2011, 09:22 AM

As Sarah said!...Also sending hugs x

**Roseolivia** · 07-10-2011, 11:13 AM

Sounds like a nasty

to me.

**curlycathy** · 07-10-2011, 11:23 AM

Just wanted to send you love. What a horrible woman she must be. I don't have any other practical advice except to say to take care of yourself. Try not to stress about it.

Big hugs and love to you xx

**Tatjana** · 07-10-2011, 11:46 AM

What an awful experience for you, hope it's all sorted out very soon.

**uf353432** · 07-10-2011, 12:19 PM

I would also when you send the invoice to her attach a copy of your complaints procedure in case she didn;t retain it when she signed up. It will ensure that you mean business and are highly professional. I'm sure the underlying 'bring it on' message will feel quite satisfying when you post it as well - chin up xx

**catminder** · 07-10-2011, 12:28 PM

Just sending you my best wishes, hope you are able to get this unpleasant matter sorted very soon. This parent sounds like a right

Remember, what goes around comes around. Take care

**rickysmiths** · 07-10-2011, 12:33 PM

Sorry to hear about your dilema. Ofsted will soon set her straight if she tries to complain to them about money.

I always take a 4 weeks fees Deposit and hold it until the end of the Contract so I am covered for the notice period. It also gives a buffer if i have a non payer.

**messyplay** · 07-10-2011, 01:30 PM

Hope it sorted out quickly doesnt sound like a nice woman at all

**watgem** · 07-10-2011, 04:56 PM

something similar happened to me a year ago, do everything Sarah says and keep meticulous records, sending you lots of hugs cos some people are just vindictive and malicious but Ofsted do understand thisxxx

BuggsieMoo · 07-10-2011, 05:02 PM

Thanks all.

Well went to pick kids up from school today (she has got a friend to pick up) but she had been to see the head today and basically her story changed again and she was asking the head what she should do. The head backed my corner as she knows me as a parent and in a professional capactity and knew that her allegations were not something I would do. Also apparently her child has poison in his food when here (yes a grown woman said this) and of course the head had to mention well her child seems perfectly fine in school, as do my children and all my mindees! Head was very concerned about me given the fact that my husband has just gone away and she wanted to know if there was anything she could do. Its nice to know that not everyone believes anothers vile lies!

I had to laugh though, she asked for an after school place for said child (what I thought she was after cos she kept mentioning it to me as did child) and low and behold the head refused as no places!

She is now stuck for childcare.

Now to just wait and see what Ofsted have to say on the matter. Im giving her the weekend for payment and if none received I will be calling MM and NCMA on Monday which is my day off and chasing this.

Thank you all so much

xxx

**Lilylulu** · 07-10-2011, 06:42 PM

We have had good success with the following website:
https://www.moneyclaim.gov.uk/web/mcol/welcome
it is basically an online small claims court process, you pay a small amount to file a claim, but they add it to the persons debt and we very quickly got our money paid up.
It may not work if they already have county court judgements against them as it is unlikely to worry them to get a bad credit rating, having said that, a lot of people just want to try it on and think you wont chase them.
Good Luck xx

**wendywu** · 07-10-2011, 06:56 PM

I am very sorry to say i think this nasty piece of work deliberately picked the time your DH went away to do this to you.

She reckoned you would be too low and vulnerable to fight for the money owed to you.

Well you show her how wrong one can be

She also sounds slightly demented, Poison for goodness sake

**Ripeberry** · 07-10-2011, 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by wendywu

I am very sorry to say i think this nasty piece of work deliberately picked the time your DH went away to do this to you.

She reckoned you would be too low and vulnerable to fight for the money owed to you.

Well you show her how wrong one can be

She also sounds slightly demented, Poison for goodness sake

True, that woman has a hinge or two loose somewhere