Getting parent 'out of the door' (I do ramble on quite a bit)

**lou246** · 02-10-2011, 02:53 PM

Just after some advice, I have a parent who, in the morning brings her child then stands around in my hallway not really having anything to say for between 10 and 20 minutes every morning. She'll sit on my bottom stair and talk to her daughter or will start getting her daughter straightened out in her uniform in the hallway. I really don't have the time for her to do this every day lol because once she does go I then have another parent who while dropping her son off, talks without taking a breath, then her daughter (who I don't look after!!!) uses my toilet. This mostly happens every single day!!!! And while I do laugh about it because it probably sounds just ridiculous to anyone reading this, its starting to really annoy me

Since Friday (obviously not long ago lol) I decided that this particular child needs to be completely ready to go out of the door when her mum arrives. Basically shes a completely different child in front of her mum and gets really loud, really rude and literally jumps and climbs all over her mums car while shouting as loud as possible showing off. So I now get her out and close the door straight away

since friday lol!!!

Anyway getting to the point, how can I get parents to just drop their children off? I don't mind having conversations about their child obviously but this isn't the case, she doesn't actually talk, just stands around! I hate to be rude to people and my husband tells me to just tell her I'm busy or just to carry on getting everyone else ready but for some reason I just can't bear the thought of it all just sounding rude!

Any advice and sorry I've just rambled on

**Velleity** · 02-10-2011, 02:55 PM

I would tell the parent that you are encouraging independance in the children by having them come in now without their parents and learning to put their coats and shoes etc away by themselves, say goodbye to them at the door etc. Write a policy and get her to sign and agree to it

**blue bear** · 02-10-2011, 02:58 PM

Right come on x say bye to mum we need to get everyone ready, sorry mum not being rude but I'm really busy in the morning, we could have a chat later in the week if you want to make an appointment?

Be polite but you need to deal with it, it's obviously grating already and it's only going to get worse.

**lou246** · 02-10-2011, 03:03 PM

Originally Posted by Rayberrys

I would tell the parent that you are encouraging independance in the children by having them come in now without their parents and learning to put their coats and shoes etc away by themselves, say goodbye to them at the door etc. Write a policy and get her to sign and agree to it

oh I like that idea!

Thank you x

**candy cat** · 02-10-2011, 04:31 PM

I sent out a newsletter and tell them that drop offs/pickups need to be done quickly....explained I need to be watching all the children in my care etc......Also was sick of repeating what i'd written in diaries. Only one parent got funny and she was the one who would stand for 20 minutes chatting!

**The Juggler** · 02-10-2011, 08:52 PM

i would take a deep breath and be honest hon. say in the monring you cannot spend 15 mins doing handover much as you'd like to as you have breakfasts to do, bags to pack etc, etc.

ask her if she'd understand if from now on handover's were brief so that you could get on and ensure everything is ready for school

often with parents like this, subtlety won't work

**ziggy** · 03-10-2011, 09:52 AM

I totally agree wiv fi fi. Would also put it in newsletter

**lou246** · 03-10-2011, 09:58 AM

Absolutely brilliant this morning

I sent mum an email along with her invoice just mentioning that I'd like to try independent arrival for her daughter, she said her daughter was looking forward to coming in on her own. So this morning, she said goodbye at the door and left straight away!!!!

I was a bit lost having all this time spare lol

Super advice as always

Thank you xxx

**Goatgirl** · 03-10-2011, 10:05 AM

Hi

,
I think I'd do it similarly to juggler. If its hard to make the words come out just be even more honest and start with "I've been putting off saying this because i know it will sound rude even though its not". Then say pick ups need to be brief, rather than ask if she'd mind. ... "I hope you don't mind but drop offs and collections do need to be brief so that I can ensure safety (door opening and closing) and my attention is going where it is needed". Also ... I encourage the children to build up their independence so there's no need for parents to come in and sort them out.

I do think a newsletter is easier to ignore than a direct statement, even if you did it this evening by telephone

Good luck, you will get braver, honest

best wishes,
Wendy

**Velleity** · 03-10-2011, 10:15 AM

Glad it went well

**Goatgirl** · 03-10-2011, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by lou246

Absolutely brilliant this morning

I sent mum an email along with her invoice just mentioning that I'd like to try independent arrival for her daughter, she said her daughter was looking forward to coming in on her own. So this morning, she said goodbye at the door and left straight away!!!!

I was a bit lost having all this time spare lol

Super advice as always

Thank you xxx

Oh wow, that was a good result

We must have posted at nearly the same time: hadn't seen this when I wrote my message.

Well done again,

that's awesome

best wishes,
Wendy

**lou246** · 03-10-2011, 11:52 AM

Originally Posted by florabird

Oh wow, that was a good result

We must have posted at nearly the same time: hadn't seen this when I wrote my message.

Well done again,

that's awesome

best wishes,
Wendy

Thank you

**Flisspaps** · 03-10-2011, 12:49 PM

I don't usually get as far as letting parents in the house (unless they need to) - everything is done on the doorstep, children run in and I stand in the doorway, have a quick chat and then say 'right, I'd best go in'. Some might see it as rude, but I don't see that it's any ruder than standing in someone's house for 15 minutes for no reason when they could be getting on with something. If they need to see me for a particular reason, then of course I make sure we arrange a convenient time for us to chat in peace!