Parents driving me mad!

[green4lynn]

I look after a little girl who is 3 3/4, and she rules the roost at home. When her mum was collecting her tonight my husband came home, and asked her how she was. She was standing next to her mum and ignored my husbands question. To my complete surprise her mum never said anything to her, so I said to her "Mark spoke to you, its rude to ignore him!". Her mum said (in a soppy voice) "Didn't you hear him?" She was barely 2 ft away from him, and definitely heard him! Mum then told her dd to ask hubby to repeat his question, which she did very quietly. I could not believe that mum wasn't going to say anything to her, she is a university lecturer and obviously very highly educated, but when it comes to dd she, and her husband, are completely ignorant! If dd whinges for anything, she gets it. In winter she would arrive with no coat on because she didn't want to wear it! She wears the same clothes for a week because she wants to! She is brilliant when she's with me, but as soon as mum or dad arrive she becomes all babyish and misbehaves, and they never say anything. On the odd occasion when I've had to tell her off she has got very upset because she's not used to being told off! I feel like screaming at them to take control, its only going to get worse as she gets older!
Do any of you have a similar situation? Do you say anything?

Lynn x

[Daftbat]

Unfortunately this is a common aspect of a childminders work. I have a mother and daughter who arrive each morning and neither of them can be bothered my "good morning" most days!

They are fine later on in the day but it really gets on my ****s.

Just carry on with what you are doing - I would have said exactly the same as you - I take the view that whilst the children are on my premises I will give the parents the chance to jump in and sort out bad behaviour but if they don't get on with it then I definitely will!

[gegele]

i had the same with a 4yrs old who would behave like a toddler as soon as mum arrived. told mum that dd knew what she was doing as she is a really clever 4yrs old and mum is allowing her to rule the roost that it will turn sour sooner rather than later.... i was told that dd was making her feel like a mum!! so i just carried on ruling MY roost and ended giving notice but stayed in good contact with mum. She's now got a grip on her daughter , the wake up call was her 5yrs old smacking her in full face!!!!

they'll learn...

[miffy]

You can't change what happens at home but you don't have to put up with it in your house - I'd just carry on as you are doing - at least lo behaves when she's with you!

Miffy xx

[Louise0208]

all except 1 of my mindees are like that

pick up times are the worse part of the day!

[The Juggler]

i had mindee siblings who I used to see at school when mum had them with her on days off. I would say hello, they would completely ignore ME! mum never made them say hello.

Mindees would do this to others (good friends of their mums) when I was minding them and I always made them say hello or tell them it was rude to ingore people (they were 4 and 6 at the time).

My big bugbear - manners

[mumto3]

ive met ALOT of parents like this at nursery and the children are always worse when the parents are there, we even had a parents ask the staff to help get their child in his car seat coz 'he didnt want to get in it' and mum couldnt get him in it one of the senior staff went out there, used a firm voice to say whats gonna happen, picked him up, done the seat belt up and that was that, i couldnt believe the parent, she spent at least 20 mins trying to persuade him to get in the car

[Tinglesnark]

i have one like it too! The mum and nan let him get away with murder and speak to him in baby talk. They let him come to mine in flip flops and thin jacket when it snowed because he didnt want to wear his boots and thick winter coat i asked her to go home to collect the proper clothing as i couldnt go out with him dressed like that but she "couldnt" - luckily i managed to clothe him properly myself that say - he does everything that i ask of him although he has no respect for women so i have to be VERY firm with him.
I have him every day throughout the summer hols...he'd best learn some respect in 6 weeks or he will be on the step a lot...

cannot abide rude, ill mannered children

[Ripeberry]

ive met ALOT of parents like this at nursery and the children are always worse when the parents are there, we even had a parents ask the staff to help get their child in his car seat coz 'he didnt want to get in it' and mum couldnt get him in it one of the senior staff went out there, used a firm voice to say whats gonna happen, picked him up, done the seat belt up and that was that, i couldnt believe the parent, she spent at least 20 mins trying to persuade him to get in the car

That so reminds me of something that happened years ago when my DD1 was only a baby.
I was in the changing rooms of a local swimming pool and a mother and daughter had just got out and were getting dry and the little girl (about 3yrs old) did not want to wear her skirt again.
The mum was talking to her for ages about being "A sweetie and put this on like a good girl"...."You'll get cold"...."We are in a hurry".
This went on for ages and ages and I was so bitting my tongue and wanting to say to the mum "For goodness sake, you are the boss, put it on her or take her out in her pants"

But I stayed quiet, in the end I actually left before them as this had been going on for more than 20 minutes!

[Ripeberry]

i have one like it too! The mum and nan let him get away with murder and speak to him in baby talk. They let him come to mine in flip flops and thin jacket when it snowed because he didnt want to wear his boots and thick winter coat i asked her to go home to collect the proper clothing as i couldnt go out with him dressed like that but she "couldnt" - luckily i managed to clothe him properly myself that say - he does everything that i ask of him although he has no respect for women so i have to be VERY firm with him.
I have him every day throughout the summer hols...he'd best learn some respect in 6 weeks or he will be on the step a lot...

cannot abide rude, ill mannered children

Makes you wonder why they don't think to actually bring along the proper clothes at the same time.
I'd have no trouble with a child arriving in fancy dress or pyjamas as long as proper clothes were provided.
And he/she would get changed for me as well

[ChocolateChip]

Lynn, could be one of mine except he's a boy!
Parents both have science degrees and like to think they are living the 'cosmopolitan dream' but they have no common sense whatsoever. Which would be fine and none of my business but for two people who are so clever it's amazing how their child has complete control in their house (and I know because he lives next door ) and they have no idea how to discipline him. I really wish Mr T would drive his tank through their garden and shout at them, and if I ever got Supernanny's number I know where I'd send her!
I do wonder why they had him in the first place sometimes because the impression I get is that neither of them really wants to spend time with him and it shows. Sadly his behaviour and attitudes are becoming more and more negative but they just won't see it, considering all the studying and research they must have done in the past why can't they pick up a book on childcare?

Just edited to say that I have tried to broach it with them, we had a meeting a while back as he was getting into trouble at nursery but they just seem to pay a bit of lip service to 'boundaries' and then let him carry on having his own way, can't help those who won't help themselves.