"Thinking step/corner/time out" revise?

[Tinglesnark]

I was on a course last night and our use of the "thinking step/corner" was brought in to question as possibly the same thing as the "naughty step/corner" but with just another name.

Of course that is precisely what it is, so i was confused?

I use my thinking step as a last resort and the perpetrator sits on it for theu usual 1 minute per year of age but i mainly use distraction and in fact it isnt even for my mindees who happen to be very well behaved - i use it for ds1

BUT

The point is,

Should we omit the use of the thinking step/spot/corner/time out altogether and just stick with distraction?

I am interested to know your thoughts

x

[Pipsqueak]

No I am sorry, kids need to have a space to go and cool off and I think they need to learn the consequence of their action.

Schools still have 'time out' spaces or the parking bay/thinking spot - whatever.

I think its swinging too far the other way now of being scared to offend/upset or single out a child.

[Blaze]

The naughty step was frowned upon as it was seen as labelling a child & negative - hence thinking step/spot whatever - as this is self-reflective & positive...it's all about using positive behaviour management.

[green puppy]

No I am sorry, kids need to have a space to go and cool off and I think they need to learn the consequence of their action.

Schools still have 'time out' spaces or the parking bay/thinking spot - whatever.

I think its swinging too far the other way now of being scared to offend/upset or single out a child.

Totally agree, I have a "thinking" spot too and it is effective as the children don't usually want to stop playing. They understand that they are there just to calm down and realise that the behaviour they've shown has upset others or is unacceptable.

[Tinglesnark]

Well this is my stance too, my ds NEEDS to sit out of view of others to calm down when he goes too far. Everyone in this house knows where "the step" is and what happens when your on it. They also know how far they have to push the boundaries before they get their warnings which lead to "time on the step" so, apart from ds1, trouble tends to peter out pretty rapidly just at the mention of it.

I suppose it is still a negative place to be and maybe that is why its use is being questioned?

[PixiePetal]

I mind a 2yr old who will NOT be distracted alone. I have to move him to a safe place (for himself and others) to let him calm down and then talk, sort it and offer solution to the problem. Then after a sorry he goes off to play again.

I have called the spot anything. Just 'come and sit by me for a while to calm down' my mindees are all very young. These terrible twos won't last forever - I hope!

[Hebs]

we use "time out" which is time out of whatever activity/behaviour is causing problems and for them to chill, gather their thoughts and calm down before being asked why they were there (to make sure they understand) apologise, hugs and its forgotten about

with young children who cant have a full on discussion about behaviour a time out is a good clear way of setting boundries

works well here, too well sometimes as a mindee will put herself in time out if she has been given a warning

[littletreasures]

I have "the step". The children know where it is and what it's for. I very rarely have to use it though and it is usually one child who loves to antagonise his sister.

[VINASOL]

I feel that I have to have a Time Out spot in my house because my mindee has the view that 'there is nothing that I can do to her that is worse than nursery/her mother'. In that I mean:

Nursery: manager and staff SHOUT rather LOUD at the kids and mindee says that she is scared of them...is she scared of me? No.
Mother: smacks. HARD...can I smack? No (and wouldn't want to as I don't belive in it).

Time Out for me (althoguh mindee calls it naughty spot but I always correct her) works because she sits out of view for 4 minutes (sometiems longer when she gets up) and she misses out on activities. She can scream blue murder when she knows she is going on Time Out but I'm finding I'm having to do it less and less....mother says to her "wait until you get home"....so no Time Out there.

I cannot SHOUT at the children in my care...although some other CMs have told me why not....but I dont' know...do not feel comfortable with it

[Hebs]

I cannot SHOUT at the children in my care...although some other CMs have told me why not....but I dont' know...do not feel comfortable with it

no i wouldn't shout at a mindee either, talk to them firmly yes but shout? no never

i'm shocked other childminder feel its ok to shout

[singingcactus]

I don't have or use a thinking step, naughty chair or any other place where i make children sit. I don't like the idea, it makes me very uncomfortable and uneasy. I have never done this and I won't. I would be very unhappy if my son had ever gone to a childminders and he had been made to sit in seclusion for the arbitrary time of one minute for every year of his life.
But this as ever is what works for me personally, or not as the case is.

[Winnie]

As i only have very small children i do not have a naughty step/thinking corner, years (& i mean Years ago) i followed a parents request to use the bottom step as a naughty step- i hated it, especially as dad would then tell the child off again when he picked up if we'd used the step during the day.... I do tell children 'no' and various forms of 'we don't do that' 'please do not do that' etc and of course i have a 'look' that usually stops unwanted behaviour. I can not see the point in making a child feel resentful/bored/unhappy - i do not feel it teaches children how to behave in an acceptable way. JMHO of course

[Katiekoo]

Mine are all little angels
When they do misbehave I use a count,
eg; 'can you come here please' ....'3, 2, 1' and if by one the behaviour (usually just wingeing or child hasn't done what was asked of them) then it's off to the thinking spot. I only use it with my dd and then very very rarely, BUT it has started to really really upset her - she cries proper tears and wails like she's hurt. This is more disruptive than the minor mis-behaviour, so I'm looking for an alternative to the thinking spot, any ideas? Often just the mention of it is enough to curb the behaviour - maybe that means it's working

My two mindees are only just one and so with them I just say and sign 'no' then distract them. One of my little one year olds got put in 'time out' at Nursery - I think they might be a bit too little for it at 13 months.

[Louise317]

On my pre-reg visit yesterday, she said Ofsted don't like 'super nanny' for introducing the naughty step/time out process.

She did say they would prefer you to distract the child.

I use time out for my two children so they can reflex and there actions, time to cool down and then the other get over the incident.

Our usual process is:-
step one: ask them to stop,
step two: 5,4,3,2,1 (this is the warning and usually stop by 2,1)
step three: Time out to reflex actions
We don't often have to get to step three as its the last resort.

[VINASOL]

On my pre-reg visit yesterday, she said Ofsted don't like 'super nanny' for introducing the naughty step/time out process.

She did say they would prefer you to distract the child.

I use time out for my two children so they can reflex and there actions, time to cool down and then the other get over the incident.

Our usual process is:-
step one: ask them to stop,
step two: 5,4,3,2,1 (this is the warning and usually stop by 2,1)
step three: Time out to reflex actions
We don't often have to get to step three as its the last resort.

These steps (SuperNanny) are quite effective in my opinion and have no ill-effects on the child . I hate the words naughty step...much prefer time out....it DOES give them time out to reflect their actions if it is done appropriately. I'm glad that some CMs don't have to do this....for most of my kids I dont...but there are some children who do not have this at home and need this kind of discipline.

It's a shame all inspectors do not have the same view: my inspector saw first-hand what my mindee was like and I was honest about my routine...thsi included my own daughter; however this mindee is pretty much the only one who gets t/o.

From my very short-experience distraction does not always work on some ocassions for some children.

[welshcake]

i was looking after a 19 month old who was very disruptive threw toys, hit other kids with toys, even walked thru a jigsaw another child was putting together kicking it. in 2 days he broke £68 worth of toys. He would laugh and i found his behaviour out of control.

His mother didnt seem to put off by this and just said oooo its just him, he talked to the parent and decided time out was a good idea, sitting him out but in sight of others so he could see he was missing out on fun because of his behaviour. This worked a treat and i only had to say "..... you will have to have time out if you continue to throw" etc he totally knew and would refrain from throwing/hitting and being disruptive.

However i had to give this family notice because i was no longer going to be able to accomodate her hours she needed the minute i did they turned nasty and i had the mother in law screaming down the phone at me saying that since her grandson had been with me he was coming home withdrawn because i made him sit on the naughty step all day. and where in the child minding training was a taught to sit a one year old little baby out of joining in excluding him. and then she said " I am a foster carer and i am horrified u have done this to my poor baby"

Now this annoyed me as it was never called that or was it a step he just had to sit for time out to prevent any injury to any other child etc with i might add support from his mother who even wrote on a letter how pleased she was about of settled her son had become and had stopped throwing at home.

After that i did question myself and wether i had been right to sit him out but to me he was nearly 2 and had no respect for toys or others and if i am honest i would sit him out again, i just dont see where that was wrong.

I did phone ofsted for advice and they said that they see so many childminders get worried or complaining because of a potential complaint and it is 9 times out of 10 always because a childminder has given notice and then the family turns on them.

[welshcake]

i did also try distraction before time out but nothing worked at all.

And the little one in question loved coming never cried when dropped off, waved goodbye when he went etc a really happy little boy not at all withdrawn x

[Mouse]

I have never used a naughty step/time out step in my 21 years as a mum and my 15 years as a childminder. I've never seen the need...and believe me, the children (my own & mindees) have not all been little angels

I've never liked the idea of having a specific spot for them to go to - no matter what you call it, it's still the same thing. I've also never understood the idea of 1 minute for each year of their age? What is the thinking behind that?
I do give children time out, but that's wherever we happen to be. I get them to come & sit with me, but I don't send them off anywhere.

[welshcake]

no mine isnt a particular spot it is just time out which ever room we may be in, and only til he calmed down and then i spoke to him calm and talked to him.

[Pipsqueak]

i don't have a particular spot - its whereever we are and that includes if we are out and about.
Even i remove myself to go and have a think sometimes...