Oppositional Defiant Disorder

[phoenix2010]

Has anyone had any experience of this

looking after a 10 year old , 2 afternoons a week

on a part time timetable at school due to behaviour , but mum says she has no problems at home

obviously every child is unique and Im yet to meet him, but would like some insight into the condition if anyone has any , either as a parent or a childminder

Thankyou

[Blaze]

Sorry - I will come back when I have something sensible to say!

[Blaze]

Has anyone had any experience of this

looking after a 10 year old , 2 afternoons a week

on a part time timetable at school due to behaviour , but mum says she has no problems at home

obviously every child is unique and Im yet to meet him, but would like some insight into the condition if anyone has any , either as a parent or a childminder

Thankyou

This may be helpful:

http://www.kidsbehaviour.co.uk/Oppos...sorderODD.html
...the comments at the bottom make interesting reading too

[phoenix2010]

Thankyou ,ive looked at a few websites to get an idea about it , would love any first hand accounts of day to day issues and techniques people have found useful, just to give me a starting point for the first day

[phoenix2010]

Ah I see now , parents comments at the bottom , thankyou Blaze

[Blaze]

No problem!

[moogster1a]

FGS. Yes, it's called being naughty. probably needs a good bit of discipline from Mum.

[phoenix2010]

Thats not particularly helpful really

Mum says that she doesnt have any problems with him as you would have read in my original post, if you even read it

The problems are at school , and the school have put him on a part time timetable , nothing to do with mums discipline then is it

but thanks for your input

[Ripeberry]

Are there any studies to show what happens to these kids when they grow up? Hope they grow out of it, not a good condition to have if you are trying to hold down a job and can't stand being 'bossed' around.

But maybe they go on to be the boss?

[moogster1a]

A "disorder" would surely mean he couldn't help his behaviour. Therefore why would he behave better at home than school?
He either gets away with bad behaviour at school because nearly all sanctions have been removed and schools are quick to label kids to get extra funds, or mum is having you on / deluding herself and his behaviour is bad at home.
Either way I wouldn't touch him with a bargepole!

[Ripeberry]

[QUOTE=moogster1a;920237]A "disorder" would surely mean he couldn't help his behaviour. Therefore why would he behave better at home than school?
He either gets away with bad behaviour at school because nearly all sanctions have been removed and schools are quick to label kids to get extra funds, or mum is having you on / deluding herself and his behaviour is bad at home.
Either way I wouldn't touch him with a bargepole![/QUOTE


But then maybe mum does not try to discipline him in any way in case it sets him off. Would like to be a fly on the wall

[phoenix2010]

nice way to talk about a child

I was really looking for constructive advice from people with experience

Thankyou

[curlycathy]

I've worked with young offenders and have come across this. I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but I doubt the behavioural problems are just at school. Im not getting into the debate about whether its just naughtiness or whether it is a medical problem because I still dont really know and could go on for ages about it all...

What I would say is that young people with this do need really really firm boundaries and can be quite frightening to be around (I had a sofa thrown at me when I was pregnant, and yes I do mean a sofa). Thats not to say that all young people are the same but I think you need to be aware and take into account the risks to yourself and to other children, and your home itself.

I would think very very carefully about this and I would ask mum how she does discipline him at home. If she says she doesnt need to alarm bells would ring. Every child needs disciplining from time to time!!

Hope that helps you, not trying to be judgmental or negative but wanted to share my thoughts xx

[Pipsqueak]

Must admit when I saw the title i thought 'oh a clever new label for badly behaved children and less than desirable parenting techniques..

My 5yr old is very defiant at times
My 10 and 13 year old can be very opposititional AND defiant at times.

Like others have said - whichever way this condition is - i doubt he is just ok at home and not at school

Ok just been to read the 'symptoms'

sorry but that described me to a tee as an angry hard done by beligerent teen (actually probably describes me now)
It describes my kids when they are caught out/told off/stopped from doing something/made to do something/I breathe near them/I ask them to do something.


Going to get of the fence here and say - twaddle

[jane5]

I have a 5yr old mindee, 1 morning a week who has behavioural problems and only attends school 2 afternoons a week.

I have had him 3 months and he has been fine and responds well to positive praise BUT it is exhausting trying to keep him calm and happy and I give a sigh of relief when he has gone.

That is the post I would have done last week

This week it is very different,
He has not been for 3 weeks because of bankholidays ect...
This week he was unsettled and it resulted in him kicking, biting, punching and pinching me. This blew up from absolutely nowhere and he was very violent with me on several occasions in the 4 hours that I had him. It was a complete shock and one of my grown up children had adhd and I thought I was unshockable.

I dont want to give notice because the parents are lovely and so grateful that I have him and I do like this little boy and he loves coming here, but I have a 2yr old dd and 2yr old mindee whilst he is here and I know it is not a good environment for them to be in. I know that I will have to give notice the next time this happens but I feel really bad because I feel I have let him down.

The behaviour must be really bad to exclude him from school and I suspect that mum is not being honest with you especially as you have not met him yet.
Do you have other lo's on the same afternoons? A 10 year old is a lot stronger than my 5yr old.
I would say to you expect the good days to be exhausting and the bad ones to give you sleepless nights.

If it was me I would not do it and I will not ever take on mindees with this level of behaviour problems again. Sorry if that is not what you want to hear.

[Pipsqueak]

[QUOTE=Pipsqueak;920312]Must admit when I saw the title i thought 'oh a clever new label for badly behaved children and less than desirable parenting techniques..

My 5yr old is very defiant at times
My 10 and 13 year old can be very opposititional AND defiant at times.

Like others have said - whichever way this condition is - i doubt he is just ok at home and not at school

Ok just been to read the 'symptoms'

sorry but that described me to a tee as an angry hard done by beligerent teen (actually probably describes me now)
It describes my kids when they are caught out/told off/stopped from doing something/made to do something/I breathe near them/I ask them to do something.


Going to get of the fence here and say - twaddle


QUOTE]

ok come back to re-edit as I realise I probably sound harsh. I accept that there are children (and people) with behavioural problems - granted, however this really does sound a bit of a cop out tbh

[flora]

Just been to read up.

I have no specific experience of this except with my kids

Its sound like my two to a tee. DD is 5 and DS is 14.

DD especially does not like to be told what to do on ANY level. But obviously we have to at some point, Its like having two teens in the house.

I know you wanted help, and so my only advice would be: meet the child, meet the child again. Visit the child in his own environement. Make a decsion based on what you have seen and then think on it.

I have ds with adhd, this can be confrontational enough and impacts on all of us, so just be very carefull with what sort of child you take on

Good luck. x

[buildingblocks]

you have two choices

The first is you decide not to take the family on and never know

The second have mum along sit down and ask her to be completely honest about what his condition means for you, for him. Tell her you are willing to have a go and that you will have an extended settling in period to your contract with the family.

Each of us would deal differently with a situation and you will not know unless you try.

i do talk from experience ( apologies if I use the wrong terms) I have always wanted to work with children with special needs from when I qualified in 1989. I never had the chance until a couple of years ago. A aged 4 came to look around he had severe special needs, was unable to walk,banged his head on the floor (had to wear a special hat) plus lots more. Wasn't sure if I could cope but after a couple of settling in sessions was more confident. Event hough mum signed contracts A didn't come due to funding for my fees not being available.

Go 6 months later had another enquiry. L aged 6 after a couple of settling in sessions wasn't sure I could cope but mum and I agreed to give it a go. Sadly it didn't workout and after 4 hours of watching L hitting her head against my shed and physically moving it by doing this and throwing toys across the room with such force (had baby in setting and was worried about safety issues) i had to ring mum and tell her I couldn't do it any more I was in tears as I felt I ha let L and mum down.

It had nothing to do with child but with the fact that it was upsetting for me so much so hubby was worried about leaving me to go to work as I was so upset that I couldn't help this little girl. In hindsight I might have handled it different but I couldn't cope but at least I gave it a try and if I hadn't I would never have known.

Even if someone could give you their opinion if they had dealt with a child with this condition your experience may be completely different. Good luck with making the right decision for you and your setting

[peach]

my son has this fire away with the questions hun xx

(pm me if its easyer)

[peach]

FGS. Yes, it's called being naughty. probably needs a good bit of discipline from Mum.

I find this comment quite un called for tbh!!

my son has this and it has absultly nothing to do with the fact he need a good bit of discipline!