Awful first day

[fluff1975]

Hi there. Quite new on here so not sure if I'm posting in the right place.

I've been minding a child before and after school since January and that is going really well. She gets on well with my girls (6&3), is settled, and has a good relationship with me.

Today was day one of two new children (siblings 2 & 4). Had the 2 year old all day, he was fine. Picked 4 year old up from nursery and it all went downhill. When I collected her and was asked by a parent if I was the childminder, I was told 'good luck'.

She was so disruptive, didn't listen, wouldn't settle to anything for more than 3 mins. Didn't like this, that was boring and everything she had at home was soooo much better. By 2pm I was starting to feel rather fraught! My husband (who works part time) described her as a whirling dervish which is pretty accurate. When we collected the others from school (there are now 5 children in the house 2,3 4, 4, & 6) she upped it a notch. She managed to upset all the other children, mine included. I ended up going to the loo to cry.

I am well aware that taking on children = extra work, I'm not having a moan about that. I just hadn't expected such a whirlwind to arrive on day one!

I feel sick and am dreading tomorrow already and as someone who isn't usually phased by much this has really thrown me.

Sorry to rant.

[sweets]

right. from tommorrow you show her who's boss! lol

you set the rules and expect her to comply with them, be ready for her and set some activities and toys out. if she walks around saying she she is bored then just ignore and get on with having fun with the other children and hopefully she will join in. Praise her for every tiny thing she does well.

sounds like she is testing you to see what she can get away with.

'good luck' just remember who is the adult

hope you have a better day tommorrow.

[snufflepuff]

I agree with sweets. She will be pushing the boundaries to see where she stands with you. Be very firm for the timebeing, show her that you are the boss and you will not tollerate bad behaviour. Maybe go through a couple of house rules with her, letting her have some input it to them. Let her choose what she wants to do, that way if she says it's boring you can say that she chose it!

Good luck for tomorrow x

[mufftie]

right. from tommorrow you show her who's boss! lol

you set the rules and expect her to comply with them, be ready for her and set some activities and toys out. if she walks around saying she she is bored then just ignore and get on with having fun with the other children and hopefully she will join in. Praise her for every tiny thing she does well.

sounds like she is testing you to see what she can get away with.

'good luck' just remember who is the adult

hope you have a better day tommorrow.

Totally agree you need to put your foot firmly down and if she dosnt like it it's tuff

[Siana]

Sorry you've had such a rotten day.

I hope tomorrow is better. I agree with Sweets, you need to get tough! I would plan an activity and if she doesn't join in then let her get on with it and hopefully she will get the idea!

[Milli147]

I can't add anything, but just wanted to wish you lots of luck. Be strong!

[mrs_scottydog]

I hope tomorrow goes better for you. Hopefully sweets advice will bring the best out of your new mindee Hx

[fluff1975]

Thanks so much

I agree with you all - had I read the post I'd have replied in exactly the same way, but it's different when it's me! Honestly, having been a TA for donkeys years you'd think I'd have been more prepared. Totally different job though...

I'm sure she is testing boundaries and I also have it on very good authority that this behaviour is pretty normal

Hey ho, tomorrow I plan my ass off!

Thanks again x

[Louise0208]

i agree with sweets, you need to let madam know its not her house & she will enjoy it more if she tows the line!

its all to easy to try & get the little ones to like you in the first few weeks and turn a blind eye to there 'attitude'....in the hope that they go home to mum & say how much fun they had & they love it.....unfortunately we can make a rod for our own backs by doing this & when we put our foot down the preverbial hits the fan

i know i was guilty of it when i was registered before, im a lot stronger with the children this time round.....i just need to grow a backbone when it comes to parents now

[ChocolateChip]

Agree with all the others, put your foot down and start as you mean to go on, don't be afraid to come down hard on her now, you can always ease up once she has got the idea you are not going to be a pushover.

I had a 'challenging' one for a while, although he was a bit younger, used to just charge round and scream blue murder and fight against everything, nappy change, putting coat on, sitting down for snack. It was very embarrassing for a while but I just stuck to my guns and didn't give him an inch.
Now I very rarely get a problem behaviourwise with him but I know for a fact he is a little **** for his mum!

[Mollymop]

I agree with above you need to be tough with her! Don't you let her make you feel this way.. crying in the bathroom! No way!

You sit her down and tell her your house rules, tell her that hte way she behaved today was not acceptable , when she misbehaves sit her in time out and be firm with her at all times, don't be scared to be tough with her and before long she will know she can't push you to your limit like she can other people including her parents which I ignorantly assume that she must misbehave for because they are too soft or do not know how to deal with her.

[JCrakers]

Agree with all....if you set some rules now she will know where she stands.

This behaviour will only disrupt the others and you will end up hating your job.
If she doesnt like the rules of the house the worst that will happen is mum will put her somewhere else.
I would explain to Mum the rules you have and that you have explained them to her child.


Good Luck.
Becky x