dont know what to do

**devoncm** · 14-04-2008, 11:52 AM

Well i thought was going really well with my 1 yr mindee, but hes started to cry all the time again, last week was cos he had teeth coming and i had no teeth gel to give him, today he cries every time i put him down even if im right next to him playing he just screams ive ran out of ideas what to do. I have other mindees today too who try and help but really arnt but i feel im not doing much with them as ive always got b.
any ideas to try very welcome

Also the mum of the child has just found work-great i thought until she just gave me her hours for rest of month-sometimes its just for an hour in morning then back later for hour in the afternoon, there are some longer and even 3 full days 8-6, she is a single mum who is struggling as she does everything on her own for her son so i dont want to say that its funny hours and cant do, would it be fair to charge half fee on the days he returns for the time he's not here,would tax credit help for that bit does anyone know?

**Minnie Minx** · 14-04-2008, 11:57 AM

oh dear, i'm sorry i don't have any advice but i just wanted to give you a hug

xx

**yummymummy** · 14-04-2008, 12:35 PM

Oh poor you Marie! Although you want to be as fair as possible to this mum you still have to think of your own finances. If it is was me I would charge for the in between hours as you cannot fill that time or specify a minimum amount of hours you would want to be guaranteed each week whether she uses them or not and any extra hours paid as used. You are NOT BEING UNFAIR I very much doubt that any other childminder would do it and a day nursery certainly wouldn't. This childminding is really hard sometimes to think with your head and not your heart!

**sarah707** · 14-04-2008, 12:49 PM

The best advice I can give you is that you will start to resent silly hours like that... esp if baby isn't the easiest!

So if I were you, I would do something now to sort it out. Once you start the arrangement, it's much harder to make changes.

Yes tax credits should cover most of it... maybe this link will be useful to give baby's mum...

http://www.payingforchildcare.org.uk/

As for the screaming... I'm there with you. Sometimes you have to put baby where you know he is safe, tune him out and get on with things with the other children... it's the only way... I feel for you... hugs xx

**NikNak** · 14-04-2008, 12:50 PM

I agree you really have to put your business head on when it comes to fees.

I know it is hard and I really srtuggle with it and usually end up giving in and not getting what I set out to achieve, Like more money!!!

I am getting better at being more assertive about my fees etc as time goes on. You have to remember it is your lively hood and your business.

Just explain that if you mind her child for those hours then this will be taking up a full time place that you cannot fill. Maybe you could come to an arrangement of a slightly reduced fee on those days? Say charge for a half day session or maybe charge 75%.

Make it look like you are in charge but do totally understand how hard it is to find suitable childcare and are prepared to help by....................and then give her your final fee!

Be authorative So says me who always chickens out at the last minuit!

Good luck.x

**NikNak** · 14-04-2008, 12:56 PM

Oh I forgot to say I also mind a 11 and a half month old boy who also screams as soon as I am out of sight. I used to give in and have him constantly on my hip and even rock him to sleep etc etc!

Now it is a different story. I decided to get tough and whilst still making him feel safe and constant reasurance I left him to cry until he realised I was not going to pick him up .It was tough but had worked eventually and made such a difference to all of us at home! x

**devoncm** · 14-04-2008, 02:34 PM

Thank you all for your replies, i have decided that as i cannot fill the space i am going to charge her half fee for the hours she does not use, i rang her and she is happy to do that- thank goodness.

**Lottie** · 14-04-2008, 02:49 PM

Hmm do you have a baby sling? You could carry the baby around with you if you are strong. It sounds like teething for this little one is agony. Teething granules may help, if Mother gives permission.

Teething can also bring on other things for babies for example, earache. If he is really so unsettled maybe ask the Mother if she could take him to Doc's for check up?

**miffy** · 14-04-2008, 05:24 PM

Sorry you're having a rough time with the baby - it's so hard when you're going through it but hopefully he'll settle soon

The others have given you some ideas to try and I just wanted to say good luck

miffy xx

**Trouble** · 14-04-2008, 05:26 PM

i would just put up with it until someone better comes along

**Rubybubbles** · 14-04-2008, 05:38 PM

Originally Posted by devoncm

Thank you all for your replies, i have decided that as i cannot fill the space i am going to charge her half fee for the hours she does not use, i rang her and she is happy to do that- thank goodness.

remember it's your business hun, it's really hard not to get personal but if roles were reveresed she would do the same

hugs xx

**devoncm** · 15-04-2008, 08:34 AM

thanks for replies, he has come again today and is still grissly though is satisfied for a time in his pram. i have noticed though some puffiness on the tops of his eye lids-could this be conjunctivitis?

**angeldelight** · 15-04-2008, 08:50 AM

It could be - unless hes been crying a lot

My one baby screams a lot very very loud - you need heaps of patience so I know how you feel

Good luck with baby

Angel xx

**sarah707** · 15-04-2008, 08:53 AM

Just to give you some hope... my baby has been a little better this week!

It's only taken since September and I'm not counting my chickens... but he's certainly a bit quieter!