New and feeling really disheartened

[ChristinaL]

I am newly registered and had my first parents round tonight to sign contract for their lo to start tomoro. I have met them 3 times over the last few weeks and thought we had come to verbal agreements about their needs etc. I spent the whole of today running aroung like a nutter trying to make sure everything was ready and now they have left I could just cry.

They turned up and seemed very quiet but I just got on with making sure they had viewed my portfolio and were happy with all policies etc. They had originally agreed I was gonna look after lo for a minimum of 25 hrs per week over 4 days but when started writing out contract it appeared that some weeks they would only need as little as 17 hours over 3 days and that on no weeks would they need 25 hrs. Told them I cant really accept that little and they very reluctantly agreed to 20 hrs min per week, but this is still less than I had been banking on, they also had assumed even though i had stated how it would be, that they could just pay for hours used. Dad then got onto settling in period and when he realised that they could terminate immediately during it he asked if I could just have lo for two days "to see how it goes"! Turns out mum doesn't need to work financially however she wants to work, but dad doesn't agree with paying someone to look after lo!

I offered them (very politely) to go see if they could find alternative care that would suit their needs better and dad admitted they wouldn't get it any cheaper. I very stupidly had already agreed to £4.25 per hour and I had equally stupidly not charged them anything for the fact that they need cover mon-fri but only actually pay me for 3 of them as hours/days vary from week to week.

Anyway im 15 weeks pregnant, i feel like I havn't spent anytime with my 9 month old daughter today and I didn't even get to put her to bed
Now all I feel like doing is crying and am a bit angry really. Hubby said he had to try so hard not to tell them to get lost on my behalf. Guess I am just looking for a bit of sympathy really and to know that im not the only one this has happened to, and anyones views on where i should go from here. I would just terminate now and not bother but we are so skint and i havn't worked for over a year so really need the money.

[Pipsqueak]

you haven;t been stupid at all you have tried your best and these parents sound like many others - wanting something for something - which you (and many thousands of us) aren;t prepared to offer.

So have you signed up contracts taken deposit etc?

Remember you can terminate the contract as you say but you can also revise the contract - with adequate notice and their agreement. So perhaps give it a couple of weeks and then say to them, this is not working for me and this is what i propose. If you are operating the standard 4 week settling you could still terminate.

Sending you a huggy xxx

[glitzygal]

oh so sorry to hear your feeling this way, when you should be excited,

would you concider trying to have them, see how it goes,

sometimes, taking anything ,,is good as it gets your face recognised and sometimes you get asked but others when your out.

i have in the past taken smaller than what i want, (hourly) etc, and sometimes it leads to more hours.

its all money and i knwo what that feels like, so good luck with what you decide or what happens, and keep us informed ,,with your pregnancy,

[crazyhazy]

It can be really hard when you start out, I found myself agreeing to things I shouldn't have simply cos I fund it hard to say no. I would say with you being desperate for money at the moment and being pg (so assuming you'll be taking time off?) I would go ahead and see how it goes with them, my very first mindee I was really wary of the parent, signed them quite reluctantly but actually while she has her quirks she's pretty good most of the time and always pays on time which is one thing I was concerned about.

[miffy]

It is hard starting out especially when you have parents who don't know what they want either!

See how it goes and if it's not working then terminate the contract and look for something else - sometimes the hassle isn't worth the money.

Miffy xx

[gigglinggoblin]

First mindees are a steep learning curve unless you are very lucky! I think in order to get your head around what you are willing to accept you have to have an awkward parent who teaches you what you can come up against! I agree with pip, if you have a 4 week settling period give it a couple of weeks and then say you want to revise the contract. If you are still not sure you can always say you want to extend the settling period before commencing the full contract. Dad may be anxious about leaving his child with someone else and when he sees how much fun they are having he may be ok with it and more willing to listen. Most of the cms around here are full with part timers, I was told by someone they had 14! So part time isnt necessarily a bad thing and it can help get you out there to find more mindees through word of mouth. See how it goes and then get it straight in your head what you are prepared to do before talking to parents again. Dont be afraid to say no if they dont agree, remember this is your business and you get to say what the terms are.

[gegele]

when i started my own 2 were under 5 so i wanted a full timer as i could only have 1 but it didn't come! so i took a part timer 3days and a afterschooler not at my local school just for 3h a day (plus holidays all day) but that's where i got the other 2 after schoolers.... you see it's better to have several part timer than waitng for that really rare full timer!

with the economic situation lots of parents change their time, use the nans...to try to reduce childcare to minimum.

now my dd is at school i have 2 part timer under 5 3days a week (10h days) and 1schoolie plus holiday 7am-7pm. I'm happy to have thursday and friday to catch up on my son and my cleaning and run errants.....

you need to think aswell that you'll be having a second baby soon, i know you need the money but be careful not to stretch yourself too thin or nobody will enjoy it!

best of luck