Feeling down

**snufflepuff** · 26-08-2010, 09:13 PM

I'm thinking of giving notice to my schoolie. He is 5 and in term time i have him from 8.30am and take him to school. (Mum actually drops him off at 8.05 even though i have reminded her of her contracted times) I had him all day yesterday and today and will again tomorrow.
I find him really hard work. He's not badly behaved as such, just very boistrous and demanding. I am finding that he is sort of picking on my one year old son. He is quite good with my other mindees (also both one year old) but can be very cruel to my son. Im really struggling to get the balance right, my emotions are getting in the way. When he is around my son gets withdrawn, clingy and quiet. Other people have noticed it too. All i can think is that i am childminding for my son's sake- to enable me to be at home with him- but if a child is having this sort of effect on him, should i continue? Im crying my eyes out here thinking of how he must feel- this is his home, he is meant to feel safe here.
I also worry about term times- it has been fine so far but come winter it will be a nightmare- dragging 2 or 3 toddlers to school and back (just under an hour walking) in all weathers for the sake of £7.
I really don't know what to do.

**linda2girls** · 26-08-2010, 09:18 PM

You have to put yourself and your son first. If it were me, as difficult as it might be, I would give notice.

Linda.

**claire'scherubs** · 26-08-2010, 09:21 PM

Originally Posted by linda2girls

You have to put yourself and your son first. If it were me, as difficult as it might be, I would give notice.

Linda.

Agree!!! I gave notice to my biggest 'earner' at the time because was very difficult to work with and was having an effect on my 2 children. You can't let it effect your family life, as a side thought, since the mindee that I asked to leave has gone I have never been busier x

**wendywu** · 26-08-2010, 09:36 PM

[I

- dragging 2 or 3 toddlers to school and back (just under an hour walking) in all weathers for the sake of £7.
I really don't know what to do.

[/QUOTE]

All other issues aside this is just not cost effective. I would not even give it another thought. Mega grief for minimum income.

**Roseolivia** · 27-08-2010, 06:32 AM

Originally Posted by claire'scherubs

Agree!!! I gave notice to my biggest 'earner' at the time because was very difficult to work with and was having an effect on my 2 children. You can't let it effect your family life, as a side thought, since the mindee that I asked to leave has gone I have never been busier x

I did this with my main family, i gave notice for 8yr boy and ended up only having his sister after school and lost about £300mth but mine and Rose's stress levels came down and her behaviour and the atmosphere in the house dramatically changed. You have to do what's best for your family.

**carol cameron** · 27-08-2010, 06:46 AM

Totally agree with Wendywu. Why are you putting you and your family through this for so little financial reward? Sometimes it happens that children clash but that doesn't mean you have to put up with it. It sounds like you have tried hard so do what feels right for you. Good luck.

**snufflepuff** · 27-08-2010, 06:51 AM

All other issues aside this is just not cost effective. I would not even give it another thought. Mega grief for minimum income.

You are right. I have him for 9 hour days for part of the school hols, and mum pays a set monthly fee, so it seems a bit more worth it then (just over £150 a month) but when you break it down it sounds silly. When she first came to visit she actually thought that as she only needed me for half an hour in the mornings, i'd only charge for that- so £1.75! As if ANYONE would get up in the morning for £1.75! (I charge her for 2 hours)
I did think of introducing a session fee for before school, to make it more worth doing, but thats not solving the real issue is it!

**The Juggler** · 27-08-2010, 07:15 AM

Originally Posted by wendywu

[I

All other issues aside this is just not cost effective. I would not even give it another thought. Mega grief for minimum income.

[/QUOTE]

I agree! But if you do decide to continue tell her you're charging from 0800 am now due to her needing an earlier drop off so the charge will be x for before school and x for after.

**Mollymop** · 27-08-2010, 07:21 AM

Bless ya. It's hard sometimes isn't it.
I would give notice too, it is not worth the upset. You will feel so relieved when you haven't got to worry about this particular mindee anymore if you terminate.
Sending hugs x

**kerrypriest** · 27-08-2010, 10:30 AM

Hi, this is my second time of trying child minding, the first time i did it was because i didnt want to leave my boys and *****minded every day - which obviously meant i had children including my own every day of the week except weekends - i felt awful and felt i wasnt giving my own children the best i could because i constantly had other children. This time i am now child minding and becuase i have a beautiful baby daughter who i do not want to leave, i have two siblings one of the boys i have half day tuesday and all day thursday and the older brother i have tuesday and thursday after school. I then have the rest of the days with my own children. I find this is the right balance for me - to just child mind 2 days a week. Hope this helps.

**sandy64** · 27-08-2010, 01:43 PM

hi i would say if somethink upsets you so much get rid its not finacialy worth it and is too much stress for you and your own lo so dont feel bad good luck hope you soon feel better x

**snufflepuff** · 27-08-2010, 08:19 PM

Thank you ladies. I'm glad you all think i should give notice- i worried that maybe i was just being over- emotional.
How on earth do i do it though?! I'll feel so terrible, Mum is newly single and struggling and i so wanted to be able to help her. She was just talking today about the October half term...fills me with dread!

**TammyN** · 27-08-2010, 08:45 PM

i too think you should give notice, i gave notice for the same reason to a lo i had who really upset my older son, due to screaming constantly from pm school run until hometime at 6

it was really hard and my son asked me to give up and find a job

so i gave notice on the grounds of family commitments. i have now cut my hours and have had some great days off during these holidays and also great days out with mindee's in tow and it has been good for all of us, much less stressful and my son is happier!

i helped the parent find another childminder and settled the child in with her during my notice period so i still him when we attend groups which is really nice!

good luck, don't let it upset u or ur son anymore, there is a balance out there you just need to find it

btw: sarah helped me to word my notice letter

**claire01** · 28-08-2010, 09:41 PM

Hi i just wanted to say i agree with kerrypriest. I am only working tues, thursday, friday and its the best thing i could do. I have a two year old daughter at home in the day as my son is at school and its lovely to just have mum and daughter days without other children around. I have done full time and didnt relizse she wasnt getting a look in with the other children so for me it is all about balance. I earn much less money but am much happier. For £7 it is def not worth the stress and hassle after all you chose to childmind to fit in with your family life not the other way round. Good luck.