how to manage 2yo copying the other mindees

**newandlearning** · 23-06-2010, 12:36 PM

hi all...

I've got this one 2 yo that still some 7 months on hasn't built a great relationship with me which is a shame.. but the mindee only comes 1.5 days
a week so I think this is partially why.. the mindee is never away from his mum
and just doesn't really want to be at mine.

Recently on top of rarely talking to me.. he's now starting following another mindee everywhere they go .. the mindee copies everything he does.. and also
repeating 80% of what the other mindee says.

Alot of the time when I ask the 2yo mindee questions he ignores me, doesn't look at me and just continues to do whatever the other mindee is doing...

I'm beginning to feel like a bit of a failure ... how do you think I could move things forward... ???

the other mindee I have is great.. and is constantly telling me he loves me etc so I know I'm not a total disaster ..

**The Juggler** · 23-06-2010, 01:12 PM

Originally Posted by newandlearning

hi all...

I've got this one 2 yo that still some 7 months on hasn't built a great relationship with me which is a shame.. but the mindee only comes 1.5 days
a week so I think this is partially why.. the mindee is never away from his mum
and just doesn't really want to be at mine.

Recently on top of rarely talking to me.. he's now starting following another mindee everywhere they go .. the mindee copies everything he does.. and also
repeating 80% of what the other mindee says.

Alot of the time when I ask the 2yo mindee questions he ignores me, doesn't look at me and just continues to do whatever the other mindee is doing...

I'm beginning to feel like a bit of a failure ... how do you think I could move things forward... ???

the other mindee I have is great.. and is constantly telling me he loves me etc so I know I'm not a total disaster ..

oh that's a hard one. What does he do if other mindee cuddles you, you could invite mindee to do 'row the boat, have a cuddle and see if he copies??? (sure you've tried all that though

)

Other than trying to involve him in close games that you play with other mindee I am not sure what to suggest.

I might speak to mum next about it. and you are NOT failing him. if other mindee is responding to you it is the way this child is, we all know how different they are.

**newandlearning** · 23-06-2010, 02:36 PM

hi.. thank you for replying Juggler .. I have tried various songs which involve hugs and I do the others first and then him.. and everytime he flinches and tries
to push me away.

if I give up this lil boy and my after-schooler .. I'll hardly be working at all .. not sure if that is a

or a

xx

onceinabluemoon · 23-06-2010, 03:41 PM

I would not try to hug this mindee or touch him if he's unhappy with it. he may just not like being touched. I wouldn't give up on him if it was me, he may just be a bit shy or there may be something else at the root of his actions.

What I would do is observe him lots and make lots of notes about his behaviour, including what you have said on here. See if there is anything he's particularly interested in too and note how he plays.

When you say he copies is it like an echo or just he just copy and then laugh for example? Does he ever look at other people, does he ever look at you in the eye? Make notes of these things... You never now you may see a bit of a pattern emerging that will help you work out how to contact with him (for example playing alongside him with a favourite toy) or maybe give you indications that something is a little bit out of kilter...

Maybe have a chat with mum and see if he's the same with Grandparents, parents' friends etc and find out how they deal with it.