nightmare son

**little daisies** · 02-06-2010, 04:38 AM

my 3 year old is being so naughty hes beginning to terrorise the mindees

. its been going on for about a year or so now and lowly getting worse. his temper tantrums are so bad he will scream for over an hour if i let him, when he kicks off which could be over anything he will lash out at the nearest to him. yeturday he wa argueing with my nephew aged 2 and threw a metal car at him and cut him just under the eye when he was told off he threw a chunky platic one and it hit a 9 month old in the back of the head

. he alo had a 9 year old in tears. ive got health viitor involved now and should be coming back to see him tomorrow. my older 2 children were never like that getting to the point when i dont want him anywhere near the playroom when i`m working. other than lock him in a cage when i`m working any help would be good

**nelly** · 02-06-2010, 05:34 AM

morning,

sorry to here your stuggling with your son mines the same n hes only 16 months also have got a teenager with adhd + asd so im well blessed,at least youv contacted a proffesional thats the only thing you can do.
good look xx

**theplayroom** · 02-06-2010, 05:45 AM

Sorry no advise but at least you are asking for help from other professionals i hope it all works out.

**mushpea** · 02-06-2010, 06:00 AM

I'm probably suggesting things you've already tried but didnt want to read and not give you support
how about a reward chart for good behaviour even if its helping you tidy up or being kind to another child or even behaving nicley for a length of time say 15mins or somthing, evey time he manages not to lash out when he's angry reward him you may have to get in quick and say it before you think hes going to lash out so he gets the idea,, when he starts to get angry lead him away to a 'quiet' corner to calm down for my son this is his bedroom where he can calm down then play on his own til his ready to come down again, my son once had a 2hour paddy on a shopping trip but i completley ignored the paddy and when home sent him to his room to calm down , 20mins later he reapaired calm again.
Its hard work at this age and even more so when they seem to have a real angry temper but when it happens take a deep breath and be calm as this may help him to calm down quicker too.
good luck

**The Juggler** · 02-06-2010, 07:35 AM

oh hon. you're doing the right thing seeing the HV. I hope she/he is a good one.

My dd was very hard work at this age and at 8 is still very volatile but never lasted an hour (I don't think). she used to lie in puddles in the playground screaming (just after I started minding so that looked really good

) so I used to pop her over the canopy of the buggy on her tummy and push her home - no choice really! If all other aspects are ruled out and it's just that he is spirited I have a very good book I bought to I can recommend. PM me

**monkey62** · 02-06-2010, 10:02 AM

Obviously I'm not a profesional but I have 3 year old... I'm just thninking he get worst( more agresive) after he been told off... sometimes children can be little bit jealous, when their mummy is busy with other children. maybe he feels like he is not wanted in a room when you are working and he feels excluded.
As I said I'm not a profesional but love and lots of patience, caring may help.... seems like he needs lot of attention

**little daisies** · 03-06-2010, 05:22 AM

thanks for the comments. i`ve tried just about everything nothing bothers him at all. he is obsessed with tools and doing work, so i`ve banned him from his tools now. which is getting to him abit but he flippes over the slitest thing. i`ve always childminded with him so he does not know any difference, he moans when no ones here which int very often i must admit. we will see what the hv says again today

**angeldelight** · 03-06-2010, 06:09 AM

Originally Posted by little daisies

thanks for the comments. i`ve tried just about everything nothing bothers him at all. he is obsessed with tools and doing work, so i`ve banned him from his tools now. which is getting to him abit but he flippes over the slitest thing. i`ve always childminded with him so he does not know any difference, he moans when no ones here which int very often i must admit. we will see what the hv says again today

Ahhh now thats what I would do ........ concentrate not on his bad behaviour but on the things that interest him

He likes tools you say - get an old mag from B&Q and get him to cut out some pictures and make a college or something

I look after a 3 year old like this and hes always been like it so I know how much hard work it is and I really feel for you

Try to focus on the things that he does like and go with that

Its hard not to shout and scream ( although I am not suggesting you are doing that but you know what I mean !)

A lot of it will be for attention and he gets it so do not focus so much on it when he is being naughty ...... be brief and remove him from whatever he is doing. sit him on a chair let him scream if he wants to do that . Every time he does something naughty then remove him again
He will get fed up before you do

Encourage him to help you when you are getting toys out or preparing lunch etc - you have prob already tried most of these things but keep patient

I hope your health worker helps but the parents of my 3 year old were told its " normal behaviour " for a 3 year old , which was not a great help because you dont see every 3 year old doing this do you
Hope yours is more helpful

Oh and dont forget to go and lock yourself in a room every now and again and scream yourself you might feel better

Keep us posted

Angel xxx

**little daisies** · 04-06-2010, 04:36 AM

well nursery nurse turned up, because he wa playing so nicely at the time she said we need to praise him constantly for being good and when hes naughty put him straight in time out which we do anyway, shes going to send ome info through the post. she was only here 10 mins and just kept saying i will make another app and come back. it was like she didnt have time to be here.

shes coming back in 2 weeks

**angeldelight** · 04-06-2010, 06:04 AM

Originally Posted by little daisies

well nursery nurse turned up, because he wa playing so nicely at the time she said we need to praise him constantly for being good and when hes naughty put him straight in time out which we do anyway, shes going to send ome info through the post. she was only here 10 mins and just kept saying i will make another app and come back. it was like she didnt have time to be here.

shes coming back in 2 weeks

Maybe she did not have any answers either ha

Poor you - stay patient I am sure you will work things out

Angel xxx