What would you do?

[MissTinkerbell]

Now I know that we should take on board the parent's wishes but what happens when you don't think that it is in the best interests of the child?

Dad came to pick up L tonight and said that mum was thinking about asking me to change L's big nap from the morning to the afternoon instead. At the moment are day is as follows:

School drop off and then home with just L
L goes for nap from 9.30 until about 11.30-11.45
Nursery pick up - my own twins
Afternoon activities - toddler group; childminder drop-in; playdates and trips to park
School pick up
L nap from 3.40 - 4.15
5.15 L is picked up.

L tends to get up between 5.30 and 6.30 so is usually more than ready to go down for a nap at 9.30am. This morning our drop-in had to be moved because we couldn't use the room this afternoon so he had to go without his morning nap and whilst he was OK and managed he was falling asleep during his dinner and was grumpy when I woke him at 2.45 to do the school run.

Personally I don't think that moving his nap to the afternoon would benefit him and I think I would have a grumpy tired child who would not be interested in doing anything (at home this morning all he wanted to do was lay on the cushion and watch TV - it was only when he got with the other children that he perked up).

It also means that my children will have to miss out on the groups and trips to the park and elsewhere because he is not a child that will sleep in the pushchair (have tried this on the odd morning that I've needed to go out) and will only sleep in the travel cot.

What would you do? Would you go along with the parents wishes at the expense of my own children and having a grumpy child who wants to do nothing much or suggest that you keep nap times the same and cut out the 3.30pm nap if they think he is having too much sleep?

[PixiePetal]

how old is L?

I have a 22 month who gets up early - falls asleep on the way to tots group in the morning but I wake him when we get there and he has a longer sleep after lunch. If we are at home he only has the pm nap, does doze off in his lunch sometimes, so do his a bit earlier and settle him down while I feed others and myself. Napping till 4.15 is quite late.

I do say to parents at interview stage that we do go out and about and luckily all mine are able to sleep in buggies or get used to it with me anyway, even if they don't at home.

[MissTinkerbell]

He's 22 months.

I wouldn't be able to give him early lunch because I have to do a nursery pick up at 12 so he would get put down for a nap until 12.45 at the earliest. And I just don't think he'd last that long. He's had 8 months of sleeping here in the travel cot and will not sleep in the pushchair at all. I also don't think its fair that the other children should miss out because we have to stop at home.

[aly]

i would say go with what you said previsouly about other kids missing out etc.

[SYLVIA]

Did parents explain why they want it changed. I would explain that it may not be possible all the time as other children go to places in the afternoon and ask if they mind LO sleeping on the move/in the buggy
Would be a shame for others to miss their outings

[The Juggler]

I do think a pm sleep so late on (until 4.15) is going to have an impact on his bedtime.

If he can't sleep for an early bedtime because of a late nap then this will have a knock on effect on his behaviour and tiredness the next morning. If you can get him in the routine for 1 daytime nap in the afternoon (which at nearly 2 he probably will be moving towards anyway), then I think it's worth persevering with the morning outings/activities to keep him awake, maybe early lunch then early nap?

[MissTinkerbell]

The late sleep isn't impacting on bedtime - he goes to bed at 7pm.

Its all irrelevent now anyway as mum came this morning and said that it was dad's idea to move him to afternoon nap because he wanted to do this at the w/ends so that he could take L with him on w/end mornings and then he would sleep in the afternoons whilst he was at cricket.

Mum has said that she doesn't think L will cope with going through to lunchtime without a nap and to keep things as they are. His late afternoon sleep isn't affecting bedtime yet and he still goes quite happily, straight to sleep at 7pm.

All the things we do are in the afternnon here anyway and there aren't any morning activities.

[Trouble]

The late sleep isn't impacting on bedtime - he goes to bed at 7pm.

Its all irrelevent now anyway as mum came this morning and said that it was dad's idea to move him to afternoon nap because he wanted to do this at the w/ends so that he could take L with him on w/end mornings and then he would sleep in the afternoons whilst he was at cricket.

Mum has said that she doesn't think L will cope with going through to lunchtime without a nap and to keep things as they are. His late afternoon sleep isn't affecting bedtime yet and he still goes quite happily, straight to sleep at 7pm.

All the things we do are in the afternnon here anyway and there aren't any morning activities.

Finally a parent that sees sense!!!!!

[The Juggler]

The late sleep isn't impacting on bedtime - he goes to bed at 7pm.

Its all irrelevent now anyway as mum came this morning and said that it was dad's idea to move him to afternoon nap because he wanted to do this at the w/ends so that he could take L with him on w/end mornings and then he would sleep in the afternoons whilst he was at cricket.

Mum has said that she doesn't think L will cope with going through to lunchtime without a nap and to keep things as they are. His late afternoon sleep isn't affecting bedtime yet and he still goes quite happily, straight to sleep at 7pm.

All the things we do are in the afternnon here anyway and there aren't any morning activities.

well if a child's day time sleep isn't affecting a bedtime, no point in changing it! How convenient for Dad to have him sleep through cricket glad it's sorted hon, sorry I misunderstood - I saw the 'dad thinking he had too much sleep' and thought they meant it was affecting bedtime