disheatening

**devoncm** · 24-03-2008, 05:31 PM

Ive had my 10 month mindee quite a few times now at least once a week if not twice, but every time he comes all he does is cry and he does not stop unless he is sleeping, last time i had to ring his mum to pick him up hour and half early as he just kept crying harder and getting himself in a state, i felt a bit dissappointed as i could not get him to stop crying, i tried everything i could think of he even wouldnt eat his dinner.
i spoke to his mum when she picked him up and he has only ever spent his time with her or her mum, i said that as he gaets himself in such a state when he's here and i dont want to give up having him i have suggested that she comes and stays next time with him to see how he gets on then, im hoping this will help and things will get better soon.
I have him for 3-5 hrs at the moment tomorrow will be 3 with his mum here, he doesnt ever want to do much so i have planned play-doh and building bricks to play with, there are puzzles aswell, i hope this is enough. i did think of doing hand prints with paint and make a flower picture but not sure if suitable for his age?
any suggestions on what else i can do are appreciated. i really want to try and not turn this little boy away just because he cries constantly he just doesnt want to do anything and im running out of ideas.

**Blaze** · 24-03-2008, 05:33 PM

Have you tried taking him out in the buggy?
Tasha

**katickles** · 24-03-2008, 05:40 PM

If theres any parks near to you you could take a walk there & he could go on the swings, or take a trip to feed the ducks.

Ask mum what he likes to play with at home & see if you have something the same. Also ask if she does anything in perticular to settle him?

Hope this helps a bit, i'm sure it will just be a case of getting to know you & you'll both be fine soon. Good luck

**angeldelight** · 24-03-2008, 05:43 PM

I have the same problem and I know some of the others do too

I would try taking him out for a bit but its not something you can always do is if it the weather is really bad and you have other kids

The problem I find with this sort of thing is that by the time he settles with you its another week when he next sees you so that he hads to do it all over again
A week is a very long time for a baby to get used you

Good idea to have mom come and stay but then what ? I would ask her what she thinks and work together on this one

Good luck

Angel xx

**devoncm** · 24-03-2008, 05:43 PM

thanks i will find out tomorrow what he does at home. we do go out in buggy, we take one of my dogs out to the park which he isnt too bad then but he does cry if we stop, theres only so much walking i can do with him and even less when its raining.
ill be sure to find out what she does with him when i see her tomorrow.

**sarah707** · 24-03-2008, 05:48 PM

My constantly screaming 9 month old is now a slightly less constantly screaming 1 year old... it is very hard to listen to him.

It's funny, I was watching a little boy about his age sat on his mum's knee in the coffee shop today. He was just sat watching the world go by, smiling and cooing... my little one would never do that! He would be bucking and pulling and pinching and screaming!

There's only so much you can do and it sounds like you are doing it... see if he can have something close by that smells of mum... present him with age appropriate books, toys, games, things to do with you, a treasure basket is nice if he will sit and play for a few moments, I play a range of music in the background most of the day - ask mum if he has fave songs... I am trying to support my little one with signing at the table, as I wonder if he is frustrated not being able to communicate.

If all else fails, we go for a walk! A different screaming sensation and definitely easier to bear

**Alibali** · 24-03-2008, 07:59 PM

It's very hard to settle little ones into a routine when you only have them every now and then. I always find it helps to make sure you have some adult company through the day, perhaps a childminding group if you have one near you. Some one to talk to and to reassure you that you are not the only one to be going through this can be a real help.

Hope it gets better soon, lo will probably be crying when leaving you soon!!!

Alin

**Banana** · 24-03-2008, 08:06 PM

It is going to be harder for you given the fact that you dont have him very often!

But the advice about going out and puttint him in th buggy is really good - it tends to settle them, even if only while they are being pushed around, it gives you all a break from the noise.

But sounds like you are doing all you can, just persevere and hopefully he may settle but you do have a harder job with only having him once a week.

Good luck

xx

**katiec** · 24-03-2008, 08:06 PM

Have you been to their house?
I know our school nursery teachers do a home visit before the children start nursery as they say it puts the child at easy and when they start nursery they can feel more comfortable / relaxed as mum / dad allowed the teacher into their home and shows the child that this teacher is friendly and welcome in their home so will be ok to stay with them at nursery with out their parents.

I know your mindee is only little but it might be worth a try

Good luck
Katie

**miffy** · 24-03-2008, 08:16 PM

Originally Posted by katiec

Have you been to their house?
I know our school nursery teachers do a home visit before the children start nursery as they say it puts the child at easy and when they start nursery they can feel more comfortable / relaxed as mum / dad allowed the teacher into their home and shows the child that this teacher is friendly and welcome in their home so will be ok to stay with them at nursery with out their parents.

I know your mindee is only little but it might be worth a try

Good luck
Katie

That's interesting had never heard of that before. Might be worth a try

You've had lots of good advice already so just wanted to wish you luck and hope things get better soon

miffy xx