Awkward situation with another CM

**Tatjana** · 13-02-2010, 09:09 PM

The lady across the road from me is a CM, she came and introduced herself to me 2 weeks and then last week she knocked on my door, looking to come in. So I invited her in, even though my son and mindees were still having lunch and i was doing the washing up.

She stayed for ages, only got up when I said i needed to start prepping for dinner....basically she has her inspection coming up and is asking me for loads of advice. I don't mind giving her some advice, but she wants to borrow m policies etc, I really don't want to give them to her!

Considering she's been registered for 5 years and me not even a year, i'm surprised she needs so much help.

I don't want to be rude but neither do i want to give her my own stuff which i've worked hard on!

What really got on my nerves when she was here is that she started telling the kids what to do...even offered to feed my 2 yr old mindee her yoghurt because she was making some mess

I said she didn't need any help, she a big girl and can do it herself, ugh!

xx

**LittleStar's** · 13-02-2010, 09:16 PM

I know what you mean about the polocies part, my friend is just about to start the ball roling on her registration, and she asked if she could borrow my file for ideas, my file has polocies, ra's , permission forms and everything else init you know. Well I thought yeah ok because I never had an example and found it really hard to find a good way of doing all the differnet things.
Anyway to get to the point She came round the other day to bring it back and brought hers round too, she had copied mine WORD FOR WORD! was not happy, she wants to borrow it again but has no chance! Bit annoyed that she has one of my daily diaries still!

TheBTeam · 13-02-2010, 09:30 PM

I sometimes get a bit fed up with people cribbing all I have done, on the basis they say well you know it all, you read everything etc, which is true because that is how I am and what I like, but they now think that it is okay for them not to because I like to do it! Well that is as maybe and I am all for helping but it is different when they expect me to do it so they dont have to!

I now sometimes keep quiet instead of telling them all I do, to avoid the awkward well can you not have a go first answers when they ask if i 'mind' sharing mine!

**Mouse** · 13-02-2010, 09:41 PM

It's really annoying isn't it?

I certainly don't mind helping other cms, as long as they put in some effort themselves. What I hate are the ones who come to me basically wanting to copy everything I've got. I've put a lot of time & effort into my policies, planning, paperwork etc & I don't want someone else copying it when they haven't even tried.
Apart from that, my policies relate to me & how I work. They wouldn't be appropriate for someone else.

Your neighbour is being incredibly cheeky for asking for your policies. Either tell her outright that you don't want to lend her your policies & paperwork, or fib & tell her someone else has got it! Point her in the direction of the NCMA website or the Bromley website & tell her to just copy them from there!

**mama2three** · 14-02-2010, 07:26 AM

i would say shes welcome to come round for a coffee and look through the files for ideas / clarification but that they stay on your premises at all times. My best friend has been minding about 8 months longer than me , and is outstanding , and although i ask her advice i wouldnt dream of copying her work. Besides , as mouse said my policies procedures planning etc work for me ( most of the time!!), and wouldnt be appropriate for others. Not that i can see anyone ever wanting to copy mine though - it would be the blind leading the blind!!

**madredann** · 14-02-2010, 08:24 AM

It is important to do the policies and risk assessment themselves as they have to be relevant to their service. They need to understand the reason for having them especially the ra. Perhaps you should say that to her but tell her where she can get help eg bromley childminding association. It is difficult I think those of us that did our own will agree alot of research etc and time consuming but at least we have a good understanding of what our policies/risk assessments stand for
Julie

**sarak31** · 14-02-2010, 08:57 AM

Nightmare! I've a friend who was a childminder (recently stopped) and she was outstanding - I'd never take her policies - I agree with everything others have said, they have to be personal to you. Maybe you could say to her - "I'd love to help you out but I've been in this situation before and lent my policies out and the person copied them all which obviously isn't on as I worked so hard on them and they have to be so personal to your own setting don't they..." Then you're telling her what you think without being too confrontational with her - even if it is a little white lie! You'll just have to stick to your guns if she says she really won't copy! Good luck!

**The Juggler** · 14-02-2010, 10:13 AM

oh hon that's awkward. why not tell her you got them from say, Bromley website and just adapted them to fit your needs (even if you didn't). That way she may just download and use theirs but then at least she's not pinching your hard work!

I heard of one CM who did that and got picked up by her inspector. There was a bit in the H&S and risk assessments about driving and inspector asked her about it and she said 'oh I don't know, I don't drive, I don't have a licence' so inspector knew she had no clue about the content of the policies

**maryp0ppins** · 14-02-2010, 10:24 AM

tatjana have found myself in your situation,
a childminder round the corner has been minding for 7 years or so & myself just coming up to 3 years.
Now when i first started out i asked her what the going rates where & she told me how to be firm with the parents & thats about all really.

She has been round mine recently asking how im getting on, & she's heard good things about me, heard iv got some good policies (for the way I run MY buisness) I'm a friendly person so made her a cuppa & talked about what policies i had in place (to which her jaw dropped slightly)
Then last week she came knocking again & asked to borrow all my policies,risk assesements,fire drill sheets the lot. I was taken by surprise & asked why, turns out she has a ofsted visit this week & has'nt prepared for it.
I feel awful but I lied

told her my sister had took them as she was wanting to become a childminder (my sister has a full time job in an office

)

But why after all my hard work should i let her be rewarded......

**huggableshelly** · 14-02-2010, 11:22 AM

Originally Posted by The Juggler

oh hon that's awkward. why not tell her you got them from say, Bromley website and just adapted them to fit your needs (even if you didn't). That way she may just download and use theirs but then at least she's not pinching your hard work!

I heard of one CM who did that and got picked up by her inspector. There was a bit in the H&S and risk assessments about driving and inspector asked her about it and she said 'oh I don't know, I don't drive, I don't have a licence' so inspector knew she had no clue about the content of the policies

funny ....

Ihelped a new cm out too, I shared everything with her even gave her a cd with pdfs on of my policies etc
she printed them off and stashed them ... all have my name and date at the bottom as a footnote! Funny thing is 2 parents have called me, they have been to see her and noticed my name within her paperwork and wondered if I had any spaces to offer!

**Tina O** · 14-02-2010, 11:54 AM

There are always people in life who want to take the easy path. all we can try and do is advise and help, I wouldn't let anyone copy my policies, perhaps what other cm needs is for you to sit down with her and help her write one policy on one element eg 'illness' and show her a way of doing it then tell her she needs to go and look at all the other areas and relate them to herself and her home. that way you are not tell her a 'NO' but you are not being taken for a mug either....

I definately would pull up anyone on telling a child I was responsible for what to do/not do......

**Tatjana** · 14-02-2010, 08:18 PM

Thanks ladies, I am NOT going to give her my policies!

I think she just caught me off guard and I didn't know what to say, normally i'm quite good at saying 'no' to things. I will say i don't want to share my paperwork which i've spent alot of time preparing and suggest she looks at Bromley or NCMA website.

Funny how it's taken her all this time (inspection looming) to come and say 'hi' eh?!

xx

**Mouse** · 14-02-2010, 08:52 PM

Originally Posted by Tatjana

Thanks ladies, I am NOT going to give her my policies!

I think she just caught me off guard and I didn't know what to say, normally i'm quite good at saying 'no' to things. I will say i don't want to share my paperwork which i've spent alot of time preparing and suggest she looks at Bromley or NCMA website.

Funny how it's taken her all this time (inspection looming) to come and say 'hi' eh?!

xx

And what's the betting that after her inspection you'll not see her again...until she wants something else

**The Juggler** · 14-02-2010, 09:25 PM

Originally Posted by maryp0ppins

tatjana have found myself in your situation,
a childminder round the corner has been minding for 7 years or so & myself just coming up to 3 years.
Now when i first started out i asked her what the going rates where & she told me how to be firm with the parents & thats about all really.

She has been round mine recently asking how im getting on, & she's heard good things about me, heard iv got some good policies (for the way I run MY buisness) I'm a friendly person so made her a cuppa & talked about what policies i had in place (to which her jaw dropped slightly)
Then last week she came knocking again & asked to borrow all my policies,risk assesements,fire drill sheets the lot. I was taken by surprise & asked why, turns out she has a ofsted visit this week & has'nt prepared for it.
I feel awful but I lied

told her my sister had took them as she was wanting to become a childminder (my sister has a full time job in an office

)

But why after all my hard work should i let her be rewarded......

good for you thinking on your feet. flippin' cheeky mare

**jelly15** · 14-02-2010, 09:33 PM

When I was pre reg a local CM lent me her policies and procedures go give me an idea but mine were defo my own work (better I think

). I have another CM to thank for most of my mindees as she passed on my details when she was full. However, I am loath to lend my hard work to anyone else to copy, happy to help but have to be sure they are going to put their own effort in.

**Leanne59** · 15-02-2010, 09:20 AM

I learnt the hard way with this I lent a a pre-reg cm my paperwork as she was finding it hard, she said she had some things to give me, idea for activities and observation sheets etc. not seen or heard from her again and never got those activty ideas or sheets! I will not be doing it again!