would you call time or stretch yourself?

**newandlearning** · 23-12-2009, 08:43 PM

hi .. I wondering what to do when your heart is telling you that you really care about the mindees of a family but feel like the parents are always looking after number one and not realising you have your own commitments.

I told my mindees mum back in sept. that I could not pick up the school age sibling after school as my own LO needs picking up at another school.. beyond putting my own child second I just can't do it... initially she said she could make arrangements to get child to me ... so I went ahead and jumped thru all the hoops to get accredited and to be able to offer funding to the other sibling mindee.. to be told now that unless I can work till 6pm everyday and pick up occasionally that she wants to pull the plug...

I watched the 4 children today playing and it tugged on my heart .. we'd layed out the thomas train set over most of the lounge and they were are laughing and enjoying each other.. her older child told me mummy wanted her to start going to a friend's after school but actually she didn't really like this girl as she was mean to her....

what would you guys (and ladies) do in this situ.. if this all goes pair shape my own LO will lose his best friend and it has a serious impact on my imcome as he is full time...

.. I feel soo unsure what is truly the best move forward???!xx

**wendywu** · 23-12-2009, 11:13 PM

I work to 6 every day any way so that would not be a problem.

If you only have to pick up now and then i think i would give it a try.

You could always advertise the space and when you fill it give her notice

**mushpea** · 24-12-2009, 07:10 AM

I also work till 6pm every day, as for the occasional pick ups i would agree to them but explain i have to get my own children first so mum would have to speak to the school about holding on to her child till i could get there.
I too would advertise the space and if you find somone else then fill it and let them go, its hard seeing them go when you've got to know them but sometimes its for the best , either for yourself, your family or for them.
as for the girl not liking the other 'freind' i would mention to mum that she had said this as she could end up going there all the time.

**madredann** · 24-12-2009, 08:39 AM

It is really sad when these situations crop up. I often find that parents are your best friends until something doesnt go their way then they are very quick to leave..whilst we agonise over how their child is being cared for they seem to put their own needs first(not in all cases I know) I dont think they realise how much work goes into caring for their children. I too would give it a try it makes things a bit stressful though. It is a shame she cant get her child into after school clubs then you could pick the child up after your own, anyway that is up to her to sort out. I cant believe she has threatened to take the other child out of your care especially after you have become accredited...is that to offer the 5 free sessions? Would she get that anywhere else apart from a nursery...at least you would have that for other children if you had enquiries. I have written on another thread about a variation problem and was willing to bend over backwards to try and get Ofsted to let me have a child(carry on having a child, I already have him due to an error on understanding my ratios), he had been poorly last week with a bad chest but mum had sent him all week he wasnt getting any worse or better and was able to join in as usual coughing over the other children and my own, so I rang mum to see if it was ok to pop a little present to him asked how he was to be told he had been really poorly and had a chest infection 'but at least I didn't have to miss any work'. Well that is the most important thing! Anyway my husband popped his present royund, his dad answered the door my husband said.. 'a gift for the little one...hope he feels better soon' dads mobile rang he answered it at the door whilst my husband was talking to him...HOW RUDE! they think that little of us he couldnt of waited till my husband had gone to talk on the phone..anyway it just made me think is it really worth the struggle to try and keep him.
That is my rant sorry it was so long but I hope things turn out well for you and well done for getting accredited

madredann

**beccas** · 24-12-2009, 10:04 AM

i work til 6pm one week 7pm the bnext ask your child that needs picking up if they wouldnt mind waiting occ for you ar ask other school if they can hold on to the mindee till you getthere.