wud you go to a mindee xmas nativity ?

**newandlearning** · 07-12-2009, 05:50 PM

hi .. I mind a toddler and his school-age sibling. .. and mum has asked me if I'd like to go to the nativity with her LO and mine to see the school child in xmas show..... now initially when I asked if she may be taking her LO to the xmas show she replied .. 'no I'm not but you can if you want as he's with you that day'... bearing in mind my own LO is 2yo can sit well or run around like a race horse.. I've declined because I'd feel a bit too much like a nanny/hired help.... and would feel really embarrassed if either child kicked off in front of the mum...

am just wondering if anyone else has been in the position.. and would you go if asked??

ho ho ho!!!

**sweets** · 07-12-2009, 05:55 PM

it would be nice if you went but its wrong of her not to sit with you and take charge of her own child while there. why on earth would she not want to sit with him!

i went to a nativity once and both childrens grandmas where there watching and we all sat together and watched the children between us. one was messin about and grandma took him out for a while.

it would be very akward for the child if mum wasnt sitting with him, i would get him to stand up and shout 'HELLO MUMMY' lol

**venus89** · 07-12-2009, 05:58 PM

Have to be honest and admit that I am not a huge fan of nativity plays at the best of times. If I was asked if I wanted to go to a mindees one and only had that mindees sibling I think I'd find it very hard to refuse but otherwise I think I'd duck out.....

**cuddlybunny38** · 07-12-2009, 06:03 PM

I have in the past but do feel it is lovely for the parents to go, and also the kids love it as mummy and daddy are there.

**newandlearning** · 07-12-2009, 06:08 PM

well the mum or grandma would be there.. that's why it would feel awkward to me as I'm still going to be in charge of the younger mindee whilst in the mum/grandma's presence.. when I said today that I'd only feel comfortable going if I knew I was going with someone who could look after look after one LO if the other ran off or vice versa there was no comment or support offered..x

**little chickee** · 07-12-2009, 06:26 PM

unless one of my own kids was in the play then no i would not go - as much as i like the kids that i mind i have no real desire to go and watch them in school plays / concerts / swimming lessons etc.

**Pudding Girl** · 07-12-2009, 07:32 PM

I've just last week put in my newsletter that if anyone is working and cannot get any other member of the family to go along and if it is at a time that suits (ie what little horror I have with me!!) that I will go in their place. I feel it would make a child very sad to not have someone of their own in the audience when everyone else does have. I remember what that felt like with having 2 ft working parents myself.

I may be going to one or two, it's under discussion/arrangement just now

**merry** · 07-12-2009, 08:03 PM

I've gone to things like this in the past if the child's family couldn't be there and there'd be no one watching them otherwise, but wouldn't go if their Mum was there. Also find it very strange that Mum would leave her other child with you while she was actually there herself - most children I know would spend the whole time shouting to and wanting to get to their Mum.

**mrs.h** · 07-12-2009, 08:22 PM

hi,

yes, i would go but not in your case

. i find it strange too that mum will be there but you should take the sibling.

mrs.h

**madasahatter** · 07-12-2009, 08:27 PM

Yes I'd go to watch a mindees nativity. I have done many times in the past, occasionally utilising the school creche for babies and toddlers (with parental permission) and taking older preschoolers to watch. My local school is very accomodating, recognising that many adults have LO's that may struggle to keep quiet or babies that may disrupt a performance, hence the provision of a creche during nativity plays etc.
Personally I have always felt honoured when parents have asked me would I mind going. All my school aged mindees have been with me since they were babies, so it brings a lump to my throat watching them in school assemblies etc, just as it did watching DS. They make me feel very proud!

**Twinkles** · 07-12-2009, 08:28 PM

I have been asked to go and see one of my mindees in her Nativity play.
Mum has said she will take the younger sibling ( even though I have him on that day ) and I will take the other mindee I have.

I was quite touched to be asked actually. I have warned her I always cry at Nativity plays

Pipsqueak · 07-12-2009, 10:28 PM

Yes I have been to several mindees different 'events' either in lieu of the parents or with them. I feel honoured to be asked and included and I love it.
Of course I have to consider if I have any other mindees with me etc.

I think in your position though I would say for the duration of the performance you feel it would be in everyones best interests if they take charge of their child

**lovemyprams** · 07-12-2009, 10:41 PM

I have been before but only if I know the little one with me is able to sit on my knee and is able to cope with being still for up to half hour. However, I have only been to my own daughters nativity/plays - so slightly different. Older mindees (but never their parents) have asked me to go and see their plays but I have always refused as it seems to be on a day that I have 3 under 5's. Wouldnt be able to cope with that!

Do find it odd that Mum does not want her child with her though - unless she thinks child may get distressed if with her and then handing child back to you.

**ORKSIE** · 07-12-2009, 10:44 PM

I have been on a few occasions when Parents ar'nt able to make it....I think well at least the child has a familiar face in the audience.

Lady Haha · 08-12-2009, 11:23 AM

I can see every bodys point about why wouldn't the mum want her lo with her, but I can also see it from the other side.

If she is there to watch her older child in the play and has taken her lo with her and lo kicks off, she misses out on watching her older one! If you are taking lo and lo kicks off, you can just take him out as to be honest it wouldn't be so bad if you missed the older child in the play!

It really depends on whether you actually want to watch the older one yourself, mum probably thinks you are just as proud and everything of older one as she is!!! (I have a mum like that!!!)

So, basically, she wants you to have lo that day so she can watch her older child without being disturbed, but she has invited you because she thinks that you would be so terribly upset if you missed it!

I have just bought a ticket for the nativity on Friday even though my own son is not in it as he is in year three and they don't do it his year there, but there are four mindees in the play and I think they would be chuffed to bits to see me in the crowd! I'm also devious - if mums see me too, they think I'm a wonderful childminder who loves their kids more than life itself!

**Tink** · 08-12-2009, 11:30 AM

I've been asked to go to one of my mindee's nativity play next week. Mum can't get because of work and they won't let her have the afternoon off

she asked me if I could go and it's a day when i'm not working

so I can go. I feel really privileged actually that she has asked me to be his key person and he is so excited, he said "can I look for you, sing to you and wave" bless him.

I took him to school last week to visit Santa mum again had to work bless her she misses out on so much but we had a great time and i took photo's for her.

So yes I would go

**newandlearning** · 08-12-2009, 12:12 PM

hi everyone...

I can understand that if the mum wants to see her older child without interruptions then she'd rather I was in charge of the child...

today.. I asked her if we were to come would we be all sitting together and she said 'no' .. she didn't want that

I then went on to say that I thought it would be lovely for LO to see sibling in nativity but it nicer if she could sit with us so my mindee could share the experience with both of us .. after all I know the LO would kick off if he saw his mum and couldnt sit with her...
I also asked if she'd be happy looking after her LO if my own LO decided to run off.. (as that way I could ensure everyone's safety) but she didnt want to look after her lil one..

I totally get that there are times when you just want to be there for one child and not the other.. on this occasion we've agreed it best if I don't come as go and sitting somewhere totally separate from the mum with her other child would just seem to odd.. and possibly upsetting for my mindee..

**little chickee** · 08-12-2009, 12:16 PM

I'm now feeling like i must be very grumpy and miserable not to go to the mindees concerts!!

I have taken my mindees to see Santa at the local garden centre so cant be too bad!!

**youarewhatyoueat** · 08-12-2009, 02:07 PM

I've taken mindees to see my children in the panto/nativity as the one during the day is the dress rehearsal and lots of little ones go but if the parents were going to be there then they would take the child and I would get to finish early, I can't believe they don't want their own child sat with them, very weird.