what would you do?

[yummymummy_2006]

Long story but children playing upstairs and I had to go downstairs 5 mins later I go back and a tube of toothpaste (which was another child's who comes in the morning and almost full) has been emptied and LO has toothpaste round mouth.
Assuming the child has eaten it all in blind panic I asked my neighbour who's a nurse what to do she said ring NHS direct so I rang them and mum!
Child has now gone home but NHS said they have to ring me back as I was the one who "assessed" child but no-one been in touch and its been 3 hours now, I've phoned mum and she said child's fine and that she hasn't contacted anyone herself so now I'm waiting up for NHS to ring back and pass info on to mum, I said if they rang late I wouldn't ring her if it wasn't serious but she said she'll be up until 1am and to ring her and let her know what they've said.
I'm really wanting to go to bed I'm up at 5.30am tomorrow but worried about child as been told children can get fluoride poisoning from too much toothpaste.
Don't know what to do now - should I ring mum and tell her to get intouch with NHS herself or wait for phone call, I'm beginning to think I've made a big fuss about nothing but wanted to be on the safe side

Also I have been suspicious over past few weeks that child has been stopping with mum at work until all hours, she works in the family business and another member of family always collects child and then suposedly goes to collect mum, but on numerous occassions when I've needed to phone mum after hours (child leaves at 7pm) mum has still been working - tonight I heard the child in the background at 8.40pm, alarm bells rang when mum said she would be up til 1am. Child also said last week that she sleeps at office when its dark and this would account for the amount of times there have been dirty clothes from the day before and PJ's in the child's bag.
Should I contact social care about this?

[Ripeberry]

First of all I'm thinking 'Poor mum having to work such ridiculous hours' And then of course her child suffers as I suppose the mum would end up sleeping at the office as well.
Does she not have any other relatives that could at least take the child home, bathe and provide clean clothes.
Maybe not SS, but she needs help of some kind as that kind of lifestyle is just soul destroying

[Curly Quavers]

I would say no to ss. It sounds like mum is in a difficult situation but you contacted ss will only effect your relationship with her and not necessarily make anything better.

Do you and mum have the kind of relationship where you could ask her about it and not come across as nosey or inter-fearing? maybe all she needs is for somebody outside the family to put it into perspective and bring it home to her.

If not perhaps health visitor?

I hope that makes sense

[yummymummy_2006]

The child already under care of ss, I've been keeping a diary for a long time about my concerns as SS rang after initial visit wanting info about mum and child

Mum also asked at initial visit if I did overnight care so I'm assuming she does work late.

I don't know for sure what hours mum works but she's supposed to drop child off at 1pm and she supposed to be at work for 1.30pm but very unreliable and doesn't turn up until 1-2 hours later, child gets collected at 7pm but has been collected late sometimes as much as 40 mins but other family member makes out he's picking the child's mum up and taking them home.

Mum's very shady about things and won't talk to me about things and leaves very awkward silences or offers little info when I need to discuss things.

There's lots of things that point to lack of knowledge or lack of interest, accident slips left in back of diary, not replying to childminder comments, not sending child in appropriate clothing - hasn't been in a coat yet even when raining (even gave child one of my daughters that was too small but she never been in it since so have had to buy a spare). Also wasn't being potty trained when she came to me (almost 3 when started) but mum not been fully supportive and I'm getting conflicting stories of child's progress from mum and other family member.

If mum spoke to me about her difficulties I could offer more help but she won't talk face to face and if I offer to phone later she turns her phone off or makes excuses not to talk.

Don't really know where to go from there.

[yummymummy_2006]

First of all I'm thinking 'Poor mum having to work such ridiculous hours' And then of course her child suffers as I suppose the mum would end up sleeping at the office as well.
Does she not have any other relatives that could at least take the child home, bathe and provide clean clothes.
Maybe not SS, but she needs help of some kind as that kind of lifestyle is just soul destroying

Mum works for taxi firm so unable to sleep I should imagine so if mums working until 1am who is looking after child while mum sleeps?

Mum works for family member so I should imagine that she could change hours if she wanted to or work more days doing less hours instead of 3x 12 hour shifts (just an assumption)

What would I need to do to be granted overnight care for child as mum did ask for this on initial visit?

Don't really know mum that well so feel awkward mentioning what child has said and I know mum will just shrug it off as she has done with lots of other things

[Curly Quavers]

The child already under care of ss, I've been keeping a diary for a long time about my concerns as SS rang after initial visit wanting info about mum and child

Mum also asked at initial visit if I did overnight care so I'm assuming she does work late.

I don't know for sure what hours mum works but she's supposed to drop child off at 1pm and she supposed to be at work for 1.30pm but very unreliable and doesn't turn up until 1-2 hours later, child gets collected at 7pm but has been collected late sometimes as much as 40 mins but other family member makes out he's picking the child's mum up and taking them home.

Mum's very shady about things and won't talk to me about things and leaves very awkward silences or offers little info when I need to discuss things.

There's lots of things that point to lack of knowledge or lack of interest, accident slips left in back of diary, not replying to childminder comments, not sending child in appropriate clothing - hasn't been in a coat yet even when raining (even gave child one of my daughters that was too small but she never been in it since so have had to buy a spare). Also wasn't being potty trained when she came to me (almost 3 when started) but mum not been fully supportive and I'm getting conflicting stories of child's progress from mum and other family member.

If mum spoke to me about her difficulties I could offer more help but she won't talk face to face and if I offer to phone later she turns her phone off or makes excuses not to talk.

Don't really know where to go from there.

In light of what you have told us - I would contact SS