What to do if OH objects to hours?

**helenlc** · 11-10-2009, 08:06 AM

Ok, so my friend does fostering and I am her back up carer so I can have the kids for her.

At the moment she has 3 siblings aged 6, 4 and 2 in her care. She also has her own 3 children (soon to be 9 yr old triplets!).

Anyway, she is finding that she is not having much time with her 3 girls at the weekend to do anything with them and hubby too.

She asked me how much it would be for the 3 foster children to come to me on every other Sunday for 5 hours. Basically it works out at £150 for 5 hours work!!

Anyway, hubby asked last night what friend had called for earlier in the evening so explained the above. He said No way as its our weekend and time with our kids etc. He had had a beer so was in a horrible mood anyway, so not sure what his sober version will be. He said I was just doing it for the money and I was like But yes cos it will help us. We are bobbing along ok at the moment and managing to pay the bills etc but without much else for treats etc.

I just think in the run up to Xmas its perfect. It wont be a long long term thing as the kids should only be with her 6 months and have already been with her 2. My kids would benefit from the extra money as we can go out on the Saturday and do the cinema, anything.

Also, even if I spent £50 on the Sunday taking us all out, I would still have £100. I havent spoken with my kids yet (age 9 and 12) as I want to speak to OH first but he is still in bed.

We dont do anything much on a Sunday. We have my daughters football match but the children can come along to that. Other than that we just laze about really. Hubby can never be a*sed to do anything anyway and doesnt take our kids and me anywhere.

I just wondered if you had turned work away because OH/children objected?

**Daftbat** · 11-10-2009, 08:15 AM

I used to work weekends regularly and it did cut into our time as a family but at the time it was a "needs must" situation. I would do it again if needed to and in your situation, just for a limited time i would definitely consider it.

On the other hand you need to sit down calmly with OH and have a good look at the pros and cons and what real effect this would have on your own family life.

I used to go out with the kids i was minding on a weekend - so my kids still got out and about. five hours really does go quickly and if you can negotiate the times in your favour then you may have most of the day to yourself anyway.

**miffy** · 11-10-2009, 08:22 AM

If hubby and/or your children don't want you to do it then I wouldn't as it's not worth the hassle or resentment but they can only make that decision after you've given them all the pros and cons not on the gut reaction that your hubby had last night.

Penny makes lots of good selling points - if you had the children say 9am until 2pm you'd still have most of the afternoon free for your own family and the money (assuming the family can afford this) is very attractive.

Good luck.

Miffy xx

**helenlc** · 11-10-2009, 08:32 AM

My friend is hoping the fostering agency will bear the brunt of the cost.

Yes, I am hoping to more or less be able to pick the hours I have them, so would have most of the day to ourselves.

If OH and my children didnt want me to do it, even after explaining the pro's and con's then I wouldnt do it.

Thanks for the advice

TheBTeam · 11-10-2009, 08:50 AM

Good luck with your decision, i must admit that especially in the run up to Christmas a few extra pounds would not go a miss, again if it was for the sunday morning by the time the football is done with the hours would pretty much be done!

**PixiePetal** · 11-10-2009, 11:09 AM

I would like to think that my DH would support me and as we don't do an awful lot on a Sunday anyway and it would be every other week then I would seriously consider it. He is often working anyway

5 hours would not be too long and the money is attractive on the run up to Christmas too

Hope you come to a joint decision.

**Hebs** · 11-10-2009, 11:11 AM

my kids just want me at home so they can come and go as they please so arn't really bothered with me working 7 days a week

plus they enjoy the perks (aka the extra income

)

**Chimps Childminding** · 11-10-2009, 11:28 AM

I agree if it not likely to be a permanent thing, and the money would be useful (especially this time of year). I would do it, as long as everyone agrees of course!! Good luck!!!!!!!

**Chatterbox Childcare** · 11-10-2009, 11:57 AM

A hard one but maybe you asked at the wrong time.

What about a family pow wow to discuss when all is calm?

**haribo** · 11-10-2009, 12:07 PM

suggest to him you give it a try and see how it goes

if its too intrusive you can at least say you tried and the money sounds good

**helenlc** · 11-10-2009, 01:45 PM

I spoke with OH this morning and the children too.

They are happy to go forward with it. I explained that the extra pennies would mean we were able to go to the cinema and out to eat more etc. I said that it was only 5 hours so would go quite quick.

Just need to wait and hear from friend now to see if her foster team okayed it.