really need this one!!!any advice??

**cathchad** · 28-02-2008, 02:04 PM

hi,
I am a bit stressed....had a parent call on Monday and arranged to come today at 1pm..to "check me out" she wanted to spend half a day with me to see how i do things..managed to get it down to a 2 hr visit.xx
Well 1pm came and went,when it got to half one i thought i would just check bt answerphone....guess what..she had left a message at 9.03am to say she had forgotten but she had an appointment today she will call me back and reschedule!!!ahh..anyway she also mentioned she is seeing other minders too,i was wondering if anyone can offer me any advice on the initial meeting, she will of seen other minders by then and i want to make sure i dont miss anything out.xx
Thanks
Cath.xx

**Spangles** · 28-02-2008, 02:09 PM

Blimey! Is she spending half a day or 2 hours with everyone she's seeing?

All I can say is just be yourself and if it's right, it's right, if you see what I mean.

Good luck.

**Banana** · 28-02-2008, 02:11 PM

First of all I would not have a parent on the initial meeting come into the house to watch me, I would want our initial meeting to be all about finding out about thema and then negotiate a further meeting when you know you are happy with the arrangements. They can come and talk to about how I work etc and discuss policies, procedures, there requirments and talk about their child... but not solely to see what I am doing for a half day/couple of hours etc.. How are you going to monitior them in your home? I think you need to really make sure you are in control of this meeting when it happens.

Also, no advice other than to be confident and friendly and if its right then it will fall into place!

Good luck

xx

**Pudding Girl** · 28-02-2008, 02:16 PM

very strange!

I agree with Lana ^^ plus I wouldn';t be too happy as a mindee you already have's parent having a stranger with them for that amount of time. an hour for a meeting fair enough, but longer than that, why on earth would you want to spend that long?!

**sarah707** · 28-02-2008, 02:18 PM

Lana is absolutely right... it's your home and you need to be in control. You are not a nursery and you do have assistants to monitor them and what they are doing. You need to be showing them your paperwork and sharing your information with them over a cup of tea, not sitting some kind of playwork test!

Good luck

**Mickey Mouse Clubhouse** · 28-02-2008, 02:19 PM

I agree with Lana, I would not want someone watching me for half a day.

Let us know how it goes.

Lorraine xx

**Mollymop** · 28-02-2008, 02:29 PM

Just wanted to say good luck!

**yummymummy** · 28-02-2008, 02:37 PM

Blimey I thought I'd had some strange people! In my experience the people who have the longest list of questions and spend the longest amount of time with you are usually time wasters who see lots of other minders with what seems like over protective parent concerns. Mostly they want to intimidate you and are looking for the cheapest deal !
You are worried about it in advance as the lady seems so finicky and I personally think you may well have had a lucky escape!
I too would be concerned about a parent that you don't know spending so much time in your home with other mindees. You will be busy and distracted for this amount of time (my mindees always play up when I have a new parent visit!)
Something else will come up and if she does reschedule try to make it on your terms if you can.

**Annie_T** · 28-02-2008, 02:47 PM

just be your self, ask her if she has any questions to ask u as u go along hun.
does seem strange wanting to spend that much time with you while minding.. she bringing her child/ren too? id feel strange havign her round my ickle mindees

i think id prefeer to have a meeting alone first off then let her bring child/ren in for small taster etc.. normal routine thing lot minders do.

**wendywu** · 28-02-2008, 02:54 PM

Tell her the welfare of the children in the setting is paramount and you could not possibly give her the attention she would need while carrying out your daily routine safely.

If she really does want to see you in action, could she not attend a Toddler group at the same time you are there with mindees.

But you do not want this women in your home for this length of time when you are minding. I assume she would not be bringing her child with her for this visit! So she could even not have a child, she could be anyone with any sort of past record

**susi513** · 28-02-2008, 03:50 PM

I find it quite funny how differently parents approach us. I had quite the opposite last year when one mum arranged to see everybody in this village in the same day. And only allowed us 1/2 hour each!

The longest interview I had was about 3 hours, but that was fine cos we got on so well we just got carried away chatting. A friend once had a mum who stayed a whole day to help settle her child. I would have thought it would have made it far more difficult to part when the time came.

I wouldn't feel comfortable having a parent stay for that long. Gosh, wouldn't be able to sneak a peak at my laptop to see if any new posts on the forum!

**wendywu** · 28-02-2008, 04:07 PM

I had an meeting with parents last tuesday evening and they were here for 2 hours chatting. But i was not working and could give them my full attention.

**Noodles** · 28-02-2008, 04:10 PM

I would ask her if her surname is OFSTED

**Mags** · 28-02-2008, 04:11 PM

The parents of the last mindee i took on asked if the FATHER could stay with her for her first two mornings. I felt so uncomfortable with this request and told them that under no circumstances was I allowed to do this due to the welfare of the other mindees.

**cathchad** · 28-02-2008, 04:59 PM

Wow,many thanks for all your replies,i must say i did find it strange when she said "can i come and spend half a day with you and see how you work!" shock was the first feeling!!,i explained that wasn't really an option due to my routine with the other mindees etc and that i leave at 3pm anyway in the afternoon to do my pik ups etc and that sometimes we go to the library/park/ducks depending on the mood of the mindees when they come out of school, she then asked if i went in the car,i thought then,she wants to come with me...oh my god she is undercover OFSTED!!!!
I am not willing to be grilled like that for 2 days a week,i have been doing this job for 8 yrs now and most of my mindees have come through recomendation etc so i haven't really been in this situation b4 now, i am glad i am not the only one who thinks it a bit odd!!!
By all accounts i think she was fetching baby with her,like you say is she visiting everyone for half a day,she did say she was seeing people the end of this week and the beginning of next!!!
I will be clear about initial meetings etc with her i think.
cath

**peggy** · 28-02-2008, 09:30 PM

Originally Posted by cathchad

Wow,many thanks for all your replies,i must say i did find it strange when she said "can i come and spend half a day with you and see how you work!" shock was the first feeling!!,i explained that wasn't really an option due to my routine with the other mindees etc and that i leave at 3pm anyway in the afternoon to do my pik ups etc and that sometimes we go to the library/park/ducks depending on the mood of the mindees when they come out of school, she then asked if i went in the car,i thought then,she wants to come with me...oh my god she is undercover OFSTED!!!!
I am not willing to be grilled like that for 2 days a week,i have been doing this job for 8 yrs now and most of my mindees have come through recomendation etc so i haven't really been in this situation b4 now, i am glad i am not the only one who thinks it a bit odd!!!
By all accounts i think she was fetching baby with her,like you say is she visiting everyone for half a day,she did say she was seeing people the end of this week and the beginning of next!!!
I will be clear about initial meetings etc with her i think.
cath

Tbh, she sounds a fruit and nut - dont think i would be too keen doing business with her!

I wouldnt agree to it either on an initial meeting, i dont mind the mum coming to me for an hour or two with their child whilst their settling in but not an initial meeting - no way! The longest interview i had was 2 and a half hours, but me and the mum just clicked and we were chatting bout everything! (i got the contract) the shortest has been bout 20 mins...i knew within the first five mins we didnt gel and she was gonna go else where and she did!

**michellethegooner** · 28-02-2008, 11:28 PM

I wouldn't be very happy with this arrangement I never 'agree' a time a parent stays at my home for a visit if we get on they stay as long as necessary if we don't click then I make excuses for and hr ahead saying we will be attending playgroup etc...

Also you need to be aware that if she does come for half day and you have to put 1 of your mindees down to sleep or to toilet etc other mindees can not be left with her unattended without being crb checked so all mindees will have to be by your side whilst she is there so what do you do if you need toilet its different if parent only there an hr or so you can hold it lol.

I would just tell her if she contacts you again that the vacancy has gone lol couldnt be bothered with someone so fussy..

But hey thats just me

Michelle xxx

**cathchad** · 29-02-2008, 11:29 AM

Luckily i only have one baby 3 days a week at mo,so wouldt have to leave any unnattended.xx
She didn't call back and i haven't contacted her...now kinda hoping she doesnt call back...how awful is that

One of my other parents called around this morn to sign a change of hours form n pay me(which is always nice),she is due to go on maternity leave soon and has baby in July,she is hoping to go back to work 4 full dys from Jan and is willing to pay a retainer for both children(once baby is born of course) to keep places,the other child is just after school n hols.
So this sounds promising....what do you think.
Thanks again for all your advice...nice to know im not alone in the mad world of childminding

Cath