Other childminder saying how many children she turns away!

**yummymummy** · 27-02-2008, 02:13 PM

Do you think I am just being oversensitive? I go to a group with the children and chat to another childminder (who incidentally has been registered a much shorter time than me!) she lives in the same borough as me but in a different town. As I've spoken about on here I have found it increasingly hard to fill my places when anyone leaves due to the many nurseries, wraparound care etc etc. The nursery group is all based in this part of the borough so she doesn't have to compete like I do.
Anyway, today I was telling her of my two mindees leaving but how luckily I have managed to replace them quite quickly for a change. Really, she said I have enquiries nearly every day, I turn down families on a constant basis! This is not the first time she has said this sort of thing and she completely got up my nose today. We spoke about the fact that there are more childminders in my part of the borough (CIS info) and then she went on to say that her last mindee came from my part of the borough and the family were prepared to travel to send the child to her! (In case you are wondering she didn't get outstanding in her Ofsted)
Grrr would it annoy you too?

**Spangles** · 27-02-2008, 02:16 PM

Don't get annoyed I think she's making it up to be honest with you and it makes her look a very sad person!

There's no way that she's getting enquiries every day and having to turn so many away, what a load of rubbish!

Don't get annoyed, just feel sorry for her that she has to lie to make herself feel good!

What a saddo!

(That's what it sounds like to me anyway from your message!)

**LittleMissSparkles** · 27-02-2008, 02:16 PM

dont take this personally but it sounds like she wasnt trying to wind you up to me and pi** you off if you find it a struggle alot of the times to fill places, dont let her bother you she probably finds it just as had as you but wanted to sound poplular ! xxx

**wendywu** · 27-02-2008, 02:17 PM

I think this is a case of my dad is bigger than your dad, or been there done that got the T shirt.

I dont know any minder who turns people away on a daily basis. You get people like this in every walk of life. Please dont let it bother you. Some people are so insecure that the only way they can feel good about them selves is to put other people down.

**littlestar** · 27-02-2008, 02:18 PM

dont worry i think she is fibbing i think she sounds like she likes to blow her own trumpet if she has so many enquirys why doesnt she pass them on to antone else i think she maybe emagining these calls

**deeb66** · 27-02-2008, 02:22 PM

I can see how this would annoy you especially is she sounds blase when people are struggling.

However i do know that it really depends on where you live ......sorry I can't remember where abouts you are.....

But I live in one area and it never takes long to fill my spaces as there are only a few minders in my area....even when i am not advertising I still get phone calls and have to turn people away (I am sorry I don't mean to be insensitive and rub it in!)....but I do have quite a lot of friends in the next town which is less than 10 mins away and they really struggle.

I constantly try to pass people on to other minders that I know who have vacancies.....could you not suggest that to her......maybe someone could be responsible for collating a vacancy list so that local minders can refer parents on if they cannot help them?

Hopefully you will be able to fill your vacancies soon

Good luck

**berkschick** · 27-02-2008, 02:28 PM

She is being very insensitive!

Even if what she is saying is true, she does not need to tell you that!

Maybe you could ask her to pass your number on today, tomorrow and Friday when she gets the calls

**yummymummy** · 27-02-2008, 02:38 PM

I know exactly what you mean Dee, it is true that her part of the borough has less childminders, the train station has a good service to London and is a more monied area. All these reasons add up to why we struggle here and she doesn't so much so no I don't think you are rubbing my nose in it. In fact it was a bit the same for me a few years ago before every school local to me (no exaggeration) opened breakfast, afterschool and holiday clubs as well as 4 with wraparound care.
She actually told me that she would have done better in her ofsted report if she realised that ofsted just liked you to "to big yourself up!" So maybe that is what she is doing from now onwards!!!

My trouble is I just fume afterwards instead of saying something at the time but even if I was in that situation I wouldn't dream of making someone feel worse! I need assertiveness classes!!!

**Mickey Mouse Clubhouse** · 27-02-2008, 02:40 PM

I cannot see that that is true but you just never know. In the past 2/3 weeks I have had so many people phone me up but I have had to pass them on to other chilminders. I would just take no notice of her and try not to let her get to you which I know is hard.

Lorraine xx

**Banana** · 27-02-2008, 02:41 PM

God, talk about a kick while your down! She sounds lovely

I wouldnt pay any attention to it. It could be true but even if it was she sounds like she was just trying to rub your nose in it

xxx

**sarah707** · 27-02-2008, 02:42 PM

Don't take it personally... but like berks says, make sure she's got your number handy in future!

**sarah32** · 27-02-2008, 04:03 PM

In our llocal group of childminders we try and get each others telephone numbers and if we get a call which we cant take we pass them onto another childminder in the area.

It works both ways, a childminder I know well gave my name to a parent, signed up 2 kids, she wasnt able to take as only had one space and then I got a call for a baby and not able to take so gave the mum the childminders name and no and she signed her up.

I dont understand people like this. Theres no need.

**Heaven Scent** · 27-02-2008, 04:03 PM

Take no notice she is just very sad and needs to get a life if she gets her kicks out of making people insecure tell her if she is that busy to pass her enquiries on to you and you will do likewise - how about that.

Celine

**angeldelight** · 27-02-2008, 04:12 PM

Sorry I think she is jealous of YOU

I think because you told her you had replaced the children who had left she had to do one better and say she gets lots of calls - in reality though she prob does not get any

Ignore her

Silly woman

Angel xx

**Twinkles** · 27-02-2008, 05:45 PM

I agree with the others say 'That's fantastic, here's my number can you pass it on next time you get a call?'

I also have a lot of other minders numbers and will only pass on the number of someone that I can hand on heart recommend. It works both ways I have had referrals from other minders and have myself passed on enqiries.

**miffy** · 27-02-2008, 06:23 PM

Twinkles took the words right out of my mouth!

Don't let her bother you

Miffy xx

**Tatia** · 27-02-2008, 06:45 PM

I don't get people like that. There was a time last year when I was the only minder in the area who was full and I was bursting at the seams with kids. The other minders in our group were really struggling and would discuss it at group. I was embarrassed to say anything, let alone brag! I just sat quietly or went to make the tea. I'd never dream of deliberately making someone feel bad!

**Hopscotch** · 28-02-2008, 12:27 AM

Hi yummymummy,
Do you have a website? i have found that no matter how many childminders there are in my area i do get the majority of the calls due to my website as people can see what i offer before they even pick up the phone. I do have to turn people away, but i always give them the phone number of our area rep who emails all the minders in the area to see if anyone has a space.
It is definately something worth thinking about and pauline has done some great websites for people on here.
Bev X