another day of mindee being a pain

**newandlearning** · 02-09-2009, 01:43 PM

can I say he's a pain?? well.. at least its a succinct way of describing it.. I tried to add things today.. we all sat and ate breakfast together.. we spoke about what we were going to do.. when I went to put things in kitchen mindee then kicked my son and then denied it.. everyone said they saw him so he went on thinking spot.. followed by tantrum.. went to go out wouldnt put on shoes.. hoody.. went to soft play wouldnt put on shoes again and then annoyed everyone in car whilst I was putting stuff in boot.. even his own sister said he was annoying and she thought he was waking up too early...

the mum is a lovely lady but she lets kids get up when they want and as long as they don't come in her room they can go watch telly.. apparently they sometimes wake as early as 5am.

.. we would never allow this in our house.. but I wondering if this could be a big contributor to this behaviour change .. I think she's just started allowing this over the summer. possibly this is why he's been soo difficult.

...

I think I'm going to say I think this is all related to tiredness to mum ?? I suppose its difficult to manage working full time and looking after 2 kids but I don't think letting them wake when they want is helping them development as positively..

**Adiamond** · 02-09-2009, 01:56 PM

Hi, I really do feel for you

My ds who is 7 is the most loveable and placid little boy BUT when he gets tired or is overtired he is a monster (we call him Damien) sorry if anyone is called damien

But from the film!!!!
He turns so naughty and we cannot do anything with him like time out, consequences even bribery(sp) nothing works

I have even been called into school about his behaviour and I remember thinking "thanks not my boy!!"
But we got to the bottom of it and it was because the light nights had arrived and we were letting him play out for an extra half hour and he was tired!!!!!
So we put a stop to that and he is fine

I would have a word with mum and maybe mention that this can happen

Hope you get it sorted x x x

**LittleAcorns** · 02-09-2009, 01:57 PM

Hiya, how long have you had this little boy, how old is he?

Having the parents onside helps so much in my experience, I used to look after a girl age 4 who quite frankly was a monkey!! (sorry our monkey

) she would hit/kick/pinch me and and sometimes other mindees!!! when I tried to speak to mum there was always some reason, no discipline was given.

I now look after a little girl who has just turned 5 and the saying "when she's good, she's very very good, BUT when shes bad, shes HORRID!!! springs to mind lol! her mum knows just what shes like, as do I and I've built up a lovely relationship because somehow, we do click, perhaps partly due to mum being lovely and working very well with me

If I were you, Id speak to mum sooner rather than later, work things on a daily basis, lots of emphasis on the good behaviour when talking to mum but say things perhaps like we had a bit of a wobble over *** and he did this, as a result I had to ****? on days where he has been up early, make the observations on his behaiour and see what mum says

**newandlearning** · 02-09-2009, 02:12 PM

I've had him for nearly a year.. he's 3.. he always wants to be in the centre of everything and a lot better as long as he's getting one 2 one attention but I didn't start childminding so I could solely focus on a mindee and ignore my own DC x 2.. he's quite a bright little boy .. I'm not sure if he's bored, we do loads .. I offer a good selection of things.. whether its tiredness or what.. but each day it wears me thinner.. I wish I could have the rest of the day to sleep.. I'm tired.. and all mindees I have go back on Monday rather than tomrw

Mums responses is well isnt that boys for you, that's probably just his schemas, etc..

**MissTinkerbell** · 02-09-2009, 02:41 PM

Just wanted to mention fact about 'mum letting them wake early and it would not happen in our house'. Just be careful how you approach mum over this.

My own children are early wakers - not as early as 5am though although we have had 5.30am. Once they are awake there is no way I can get them to go back to sleep...my oldest one will go downstairs and watch telly; DD2 will lay in bed and look at books and DS comes and snuggles in with us - I have tried putting them to bed later but it makes no difference.

What I'm trying to say is that mum may not be at fault at 'letting' them wake early - some children are naturally early risers. Whilst tiredness could be at the root of the behaviour please be careful at how you approach mum.

**newandlearning** · 02-09-2009, 02:57 PM

hi Miss Tinkerbell ... yes of course you are right and probably I worded that wrongly.. we are lucky that our 2 LOs love sleeping.. my 2 yo happily asked for nap nap time each day when tired and wakes at 7am each day.. I have a friend whose children wake really early too.. you could be right that they are naturally early rises and yes I agree that its probably very tricky getting LOs to sleep once 5am ish rolls around... I won't be insensitive.. I suppose if I was trying to be insensitive I wouldn't be asking for fellow cms advice .. I want to get things right.xx thanks for your reply..

**her8y** · 02-09-2009, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by jessiebessie

Hi, I really do feel for you

My ds who is 7 is the most loveable and placid little boy BUT when he gets tired or is overtired he is a monster (we call him Damien) sorry if anyone is called damien

But from the film!!!!
He turns so naughty and we cannot do anything with him like time out, consequences even bribery(sp) nothing works

I have even been called into school about his behaviour and I remember thinking "thanks not my boy!!"
But we got to the bottom of it and it was because the light nights had arrived and we were letting him play out for an extra half hour and he was tired!!!!!
So we put a stop to that and he is fine

I would have a word with mum and maybe mention that this can happen

Hope you get it sorted x x x

My ten year old is the same. Gets up at 7am (used to be 6.30) regardless of what time he goes to bed SO a late night is ALWAYS followed by a difficult day. He is placid until he is tired then whinges, moans, cried and is generally VERY awkward.

**Bitsy Beans** · 02-09-2009, 04:58 PM

Me and my friends have quite a tricky issue with a mutal friends child (not minded by me thankfully). He's vile. He really is. None of our kids want to go and play but obviously we like to go and meet up with his mum. But his behaviour in one so young is dispicable - he's got children round the throat before now etc.
And it all gets passed off under the guise of him being tired. Apparantly at aged nearly 4 he still requires a 2 hour afternoon nap?!!!!
got nothing to do with the fact that his mum doesn't seem to follow up on threats made or just shouts at him.

If anyone's got any diplomatic advice on how to mention this to a friend I am all ears!!!!

sorry sort of derailed your thread but I can see why you feel exhausted looking after a diffcult child like that. A couple of hours with my friends child is two hours too long