Grrrrrrr PARENTS!!!!!!

**Adiamond** · 24-08-2009, 08:57 AM

Sorry guys but I really need to have a moan

Well, I look after a little girl 16 months old, she is lovely

She arrives at mine for 6.30am in her pj's, I give her breakfast and get her dressed, I went to get her clothes out of her bag today and mum had sent the longest frilliest(sp) dress ever!! This isn't the first time this has happened she trips up it all the time and when she goes up the step in the garden her foot gets stuck in the hem

Mum never sends any spare clothes unless I specifically ask her to, I have said to leave some at my house but haven't seen any yet!!!!!

The lo is with me until 8.00pm so I put her back into her pj's and give her her milk but in her daily diary mum has asked me to bath her tonight as she never had time last night

When I took on this lo the hours where ad hoc but it was 8.30 - 5.00 at the latest and I told her my hourly rate and I wouldn't charge for lunch, but 2 weeks into the contract mum split up with her boyfriend and she asked me if I could start at 6.30am until 8.00pm which means I now have to give her breakfast, lunch and tea and mum has said lo is having a growth spurt so can I give her lots of snacks?????
I don't get paid any extra for any of this!!!! I am feeling like I am being taken for granted quite alot at the minute

Would any of you do this? and if not how can I approach the subject???
Moan over

Thanks for listening

x x x

**mum2two** · 24-08-2009, 09:10 AM

I presume you have re-done contracts with mum, to account for the extra hours.

If not, then do that, and include a cost for breakfast & dinner each day.

xx

**CherryBlossom** · 24-08-2009, 09:12 AM

That isn't fair, I would def bring it up and say to her that as circumstances have changed you need to take another look at fee's and contract.
It is cheeky of her to expect extra time and food etc anyway.
I haven't started minding yet so not sure best way to bring it up, but hope it goes ok for you!

Blossom

**Hebs** · 24-08-2009, 09:27 AM

yes i'd redo contracts

and i'd buy her a few sensible outfits and put the cost through your books

**little chickee** · 24-08-2009, 09:30 AM

this parent is having a laugh!! This is taking advantange on a grand scale.

When she collects tonight i would tell her that the child has not had a bath as you also did not have time to do it.

For me before 8am and after 6pm is unsociable hours and would be charged at double time. I would either ask her to provide a lunch bag with all her food and snacks or charge her for the meals - along the lines of
1. Breakfast = £1
2. Lunch = £1
3. Tea = £1.50
4. snacks and drinks throughout the day £1.
This obviously is an extra £4.50 per day which will help your budget considerably.

Tonight just say that as the hours have changed you need to go through a new contract to take it into account. Say that this is to cover both of you in the event of a dispute.

The clothes issue needs to be addressed although i know what its like to ask for something several times and the parents dont supply it.
Maybe go and buy a few cheap items of clothing for her - maybe from a charity shop - and dress the child in these if her clothes are inappropriate and charge the parent for these and explain why.
Hopefully she will prefer the child to be in her own clothes so might come good on that.

Im interested to know how you get on.

**Mollymop** · 24-08-2009, 09:39 AM

I think it would be best of you spoke to the mum about it all. She probably doesn't realise that you feel like you are being taken for granted.

**DIPPY DOUGHNUT** · 24-08-2009, 09:40 AM

hi

I think you are being taken for granted. I would also redo the contract and charge extra for meals and snacks.

i charge £1.50 per meal and 50p for snacks,

**Adiamond** · 24-08-2009, 09:42 AM

Awww thanks everyone, I was a bit worried that I was being a bit picky

but it is really starting to annoy me!!!
I did think to say I didn't have time to bath her.... I do have 2 children of my own

We are supposed to be re-doing the contracts this week as she has got a permanent job now so I am going to say that I want extra for everything I do.
In my fees policy it does state that I charge extra for before 8 and after 6 but when all this happened I think I felt sorry for her and let her off!! I need to harden up I think

I have bought a few bits of clothing but it just gets my back up when she sends her in these silly dresses to come and play in!!!
x x x

**rickysmiths** · 24-08-2009, 09:59 AM

I'm afraid I would have called her back to fetch the clothes you need in order to care for the needs of her child for the hours you have her.

You only need to do it once and they won't forget again. If she only has a frock that is too long for the safe movement around your home today I would get out a needle and thread and tack the hem up so it is safe.

You need to charge for the extra hours that will then cover your extra expenses.

I used to feel sorry for people but got my fingers burned. Don't get me wrong I will bend over backwards to help if I can and sometimes don't charge but I have had to learn the difference between real need and being taken for a ride.

I hope everything works out for you.

By the way the only time I will ever bath a child is if they do a really messy poo and I mean one of those ones that go everywhere

**Princess Sara** · 24-08-2009, 12:02 PM

Wouldn't you need signed consent for bathing lo anyways?

I would be reviewing contract with mum, extra for unsociable hours, extra for food if you need to. Personally all food and snacks are included in my fee's, but before 8am and after 6pm are unsociable for me and are charged double. (With the exception of one parent who was my first and has always started at 7am.)

**Princess Sara** · 24-08-2009, 12:04 PM

Originally Posted by rickysmiths

If she only has a frock that is too long for the safe movement around your home today I would get out a needle and thread and tack the hem up so it is safe.

Mindee aged 4 came in a lovely long frilly dress once... crawled under their 'den', put her knee on the hem and it ripped all the way around her belly to the seam. She has not come in a dress again.

**Tatjana** · 24-08-2009, 07:02 PM

OMG, you are doing so many extra hours for no extra pay? That is terrible, I understand you felt sorry for her, but think about yourself too hon.

Good luck with the revised contract.

xx

**little chickee** · 26-08-2009, 12:09 PM

Hi - i'm just wondering how you got on with the clothes and bathing issue and the extra hours?

**Sally G** · 26-08-2009, 12:19 PM

I must say that is so dedicated of you to take all those hours and commitments on with two of your own im just about to start minding and dont think iw ould take on those hours it must be hard to stay detatched! anywya i will also be intrested to hear the out come of this. good luck

**Adiamond** · 26-08-2009, 08:36 PM

Hi, I have had mindee again today and she had shorts and a t.shirt (no dress) as when lo was picked up last time I casually said that the dress got trapped and lo could have fallen and hurt herself if I hadn't been so close!!!!!!
Mum starts her new contract next week so we will be doing our new contract then, not sure wether she will agree on extras for the food ect... but we will see.
I was a bit miffed tonight mum hadn't mentioned any hours for next week to have lo so I had to ask and she said Mon, Thurs and Fri (I only normally have her 2 days) so I said do you want me for the 3 days? and she said no just 2 because E (I have no idea who E is but I know she looks after mindee too) wants her 1 day, I know mum claims tax credits and she said that she will need me 3 days per week when her new job starts but E seems to be having her for the 3rd day!! I am beginning to wonder if she is getting money for the 3rd day using my reg number ?????? x x x

**Adiamond** · 03-09-2009, 12:52 PM

Just need to update you all on whats happened this week!!!
I text mum on Monday to ask if she could come round on Wednesday to do the new contracts she said ok and that was it, I text her to check she was still coming yesterday morning and she replied saying "oh I forgot,I have got my nephews now!!!! "

I text back and put that we need to do the new contract could you come later? she arrived at 5.15pm
She said I have got 6 weeks rotas for you and OMG when she gave me them all apart from 2 weeks include a Saturday 6.30am-8.00pm

1 of which is our wedding anniversary and the other is my dd birthday!!! I said I probably won't be able to do these she said oh it will be fine K will just join in the celebrations!!!!! Then she said they have given me these weekends because the know I am skint and I get more money for working weekends!!!! I couldn't believe she said that she never offered to give me anymore.
I explained to her that K is taking up a full-time place but I am only having her 27 hours a week, she said ok we will do the contract for 27 hours then because E wants her 1 day aswell!!!! E It turns out is her soon to be sister in law....
As she was leaving she said "could you bath K tomorrow? because I won't have time tonight I have got to pick my laptop up "

I never said anything because I was soooooo angry with her I did feel like saying I have got 2 children of my own you know!!!!
K came this morning still with the dirty face she had last night!!!! and she smells as though she hasn't had a bath for a week

I am going to give notice as I feel I am being made such a fool of and it is really upsetting me

Thank you all for listening x x x

**Rubybubbles** · 03-09-2009, 01:05 PM

oh my

Poor child! sounds as though mum is really struggling with it all too.

You need to do what feels best for you, if you are going to bed, dreading the thought of working with this family the next day then I would go for it. I had a family which sometimes I admit I had a little cry over as the mum was rotten to me! I gave notice and it was the best thing

**cabby** · 03-09-2009, 01:08 PM

wow, sounds like she is really taking the

, it sounds like you would be much better off without her.x

**Adiamond** · 03-09-2009, 01:15 PM

Thank you, I have been awake since 3am with everything going round my head and I have to admit that I do dread the days that she comes

I also have just had a phonecall from a good friend of mine who works in the same place a mindees mum and apparently last week mum told work (she's a nurse) that I had called and said that K was really poorly and she had to leave work early NO I NEVER!!!!!!
The very same day she arrived 20 mins late and told me she got stuck at work

She has got a new doctor boyfriend I am wondering if they had a date!!!!!!
x x x

**CherryBlossom** · 03-09-2009, 01:49 PM

I don't want to judge, as I do not know Mum or her situation but she sounds very crafty.
It sounds like you are better off giving notice if she is involving you in lies that mindee is ill.
As for lo coming to you smelly, well that is just really upsetting that a parent can't find 10 minutes to make sure baby has a bath and washed face!

Perhaps parent thinks that you will just put up with it, seems a bit odd that she is also using another Childminder or person - 'E' to look after the little girl for a day..when she could have worked this into your contract and given you the Full time hours you requested.

I hope it all works out for you

x