Am I being unreasonable?

[balloon]

Background: Child (3.5 years) arrives in cheaper variation of Crocs at beginning of summer. They rubbed her poor little feet raw and I ended up having to carry child to her parents to pick up trainers and socks so she could walk back to mine (parents was nearer and Mum's B/F was in).

She didn't wear them for a while after that until this last two weeks. Day 1 child gets blistered feet again (through socks). I have to put her in my bugaboo pushchair which is too small to hold her (risking breaking it) and carry toddler about a mile to my home. Wrote up in accident/incident as skin broken and bleeding and asked mum not to send child in them again (in writing). Day 2 she turns up in them again. I explained to mum that we are stuck at home cos I can't risk having to carry her child with blistered feet and push a double buggy with two toddlers in. Her reply was "Well she's ok in them all weekend".

Next day she wore them again so we stayed home whilst she was with us. Asked mum again not to send her with them, reply this time was that her trainers at at Nanny's up the road but she'll drop them back later so she'll wear trainers tomorrow. To cut a long story short, she's worn them every day this week and tells me "These shoes don't rub my feet". We have been stuck at home every bl**dy day this week because her mum will not send her in proper fitting shoes (eg trainers etc not necessarily clarkes shoes, lol!). She has other shoes so it's not a case of only being able to afford the cheapies...

I've asked really nicely 3 or 4 times for her to wear 'proper' shoes and put it in writing too. Today she turned up in them again so I've sent home a letter about inappropriate clothing and how crocs/flip-flops etc are not suitable footwear for a childminding situation where the children are using large play equipment, going for long walks etc. (it was a newsletter with plenty of other stuff in too)

Am I being unreasonable asking this parent to provide proper shoes for her child whilst she's in my care? Or should she be able to send her child in whatever she wants?

[FussyElmo]

No you are not being unreasonable. I hate this shoes for toddlers with passion as they dont offer the support required.

My mindee (2) was coming in them and I just said I hope you have brought other shoes because Im not going to be responsible for her in them. Luckily Mum had however havent seen them since mindee fell at home and bashed all her head.

Stick to your guns the child can wear crocs when she is with mum

[ajs]

i would say if it is affecting your daily routine then it is fair enough for you to ask her to supply sensible shoes even if she comes in the "crocs " but brings trainers with her

[Daftbat]

I think you are in the right. I would do the same. Can you ask for some shoes to remain at your house?

[MissTinkerbell]

No - I don't think you're being unreasonable. We had a similar newsletter home from nursery this week saying the same thing.

I used to think Crocs were great until I bought my two some and they ended up with blisters, through their socks and whilst they keep asking for some this year I've refused and they've had canvas shoes from Next instead.

If she's still going to insist on putting her in Crocs then insist that she also provides a suitable pair of shoes for outdoor play and stuff.

[Chatterbox Childcare]

i would say if it is affecting your daily routine then it is fair enough for you to ask her to supply sensible shoes even if she comes in the "crocs " but brings trainers with her

I agree - you cannot stop going out because of the bad footwear - ask mum to go home again and get the appropriate shoes if they arrive wrong again

[Helen79]

You're not being unreasonable. I would ask for a pair of shoes to be kept at your house. If she refuses, could you buy a really cheap charity shop pair for her & maybe add it on mum's bill?
It's not fair on everyone else to be stuck indoor all day especially in this weather.

dd has a pair of these shoes for wearing in the garden & often puts them on herself when we leave the house instead of her trainers, even though I ask her to put on trainers They're easier for her to put on herself & I often don't realise that she's wearing them until it's too late.

She'd done this yesterday & she fell over in them on a long walk because they're really badly fitting & she tripped over them.
I think they're fine for wearing down the beach etc but not for walking in or wearing for long periods.

[tinkerbelle]

could you not ask mum to provide a cheap pair of the plimsolls they cost around £2 if not is there any chance you could get a pair and keep them at yours as its also not fair on the other children having to stay in i understand this is not your problem but if mum is still not bringing them then its either do this or send her home

[wendywu]

Simple say that if you are out and mindee cannot walk because of blisters and bleeding feet then you will phone parents to come and collect her from where ever you happen to be stuck at that time.

[breezy]

Simple say that if you are out and mindee cannot walk because of blisters and bleeding feet then you will phone parents to come and collect her from where ever you happen to be stuck at that time.

That will stop it, brilliant idea and dont forget to charge her for any plasters you use

[mushpea]

you are not being ureasonable to this parent but maybe unfair on the other children if you cant go out, after all the eyfs states you need to get the children outside which obviously you have been unable to do.
i have been in a similar situation with a child who had uncomfortable shoes, i kept asking dad for a better pair with no luck then said if he didnt provide a better pair the next day i would go out and buy some from clarks and add the cost to his bill, next day a different par of shoes and a child that would walk again. turns out that the child kept asking to wear the uncomfortable pair and had a paddy when dad tried other shoes so for an easy life dad gave in !

I have also had this when i asked for children to bring wellies and a spare pair of shoes for a outing to woods, the idea was that we would change shoes before getting in the car to save having a muddy car, child (age 6) turns up in canvas shoes too big for them with no spare shoes or wellies, as they didnt want them when we got to the woods child wanted to join the others in puddle jumping but i said no cause you got no spair shoes or sutilbe foot wear for puddles, very disapointed child but one big lesson learnt.
if its the parents fault then i am sypmathetic to the child but if its the child being stubborn then tuff luck here im afraid.

[georgie456]

I think you have been more than patient and asked enough times - so no - you are not being unreasonable.

I've had this with a parent who kept sending her 3yr old with a bandana instead of a hat! It offered no protection from the sun at all and his pre-school also objected to it. I kept asking her to bring him a hat but she just said that he prefers the banadana - he's 3!!!

In the end I went and bought him a hat myself and billed her for it and surprise surprise, he was perfectly happy wearing a hat!

[balloon]

Thank you everybody for your replies.

When I first mentioned it, the Mum's b/f picked the child up and said it was the little girl who was refusing to wear proper shoes (she can be a bit precocious) so I said ok fine but please pop some trainers in a bag and bring them with her - he said he'd do that.

The child cries and says she needs proper shoes (OMG have I brainwashed the poor wee thing?) so I don't think it is her tbh...

This past week the excuse has been that the trainers are at Nanny's house (but she has startright shoes, and ankle boots etc too) and nanny will drop them over (this is a small town and nanny is local - it takes an hour to walk from one side of town to the other...) but this hasn't happened.

On the bottom of the newsletter I sent home I put a couple of sentences saying that if children turned up in flipflops or crocs type shoes they would not be admitted and that parents could choose to either go home and get proper shoes or 'take the day off' but there would be no refunds in either case because they agreed in the contract to provide appropriate clothing.

TBH this family have been problems since day one and I'm seriously thinking about letting them go (but that's a whole other post, lol!)

Thanks again, it's good to know that I'm not getting a bee in my bonnet about nothing, lol! What would I do without you guys for advice? xx