my marriage is over....

**abba1772** · 28-04-2009, 01:11 PM

and i need to move back up to scotland, can't stay here things are starting to get messy.

do i still need to give 4 weeks notice, don't think i could handle 4 weeks away from my family

does anyone have any suggestions i want to move me and my kids back to scotland by the weekend

**misst104** · 28-04-2009, 01:13 PM

Hi there, I am so sorry to hear that

I cannot offer any advise am afraid but didn't want to read and run. I hope someone will be along shortly with some help. Hope all works out for you xxx

jo

**abba1772** · 28-04-2009, 01:15 PM

thanks for replying x

**FizzysFriends** · 28-04-2009, 01:18 PM

Look on the back of the contract, there may be something about family circumstances?

Your family come first and you have to do whats right by them. Can you find another minder to take the mindees for the next 4 weeks?

**PixiePetal** · 28-04-2009, 01:18 PM

Not sure what to say either, but thoughts are with you and wishing you happiness for your future.

Good luck

**huggableshelly** · 28-04-2009, 01:19 PM

oh you poor thing!

Get on the phone to Ofsted and your insurance asap tell them you are unable to safely continue to childmind and unable to give parents 4 weeks notice, ask them for legal advise on how to handle parents. dont stay where you are uncomfortable due to legal issues if you feel unsafe the children are unsafe too. This may come under exeptional circumstances and unfortunatly your parents are going to have to deal with it rather quickly.

Good Luck with the move xxx

**helenlc** · 28-04-2009, 01:20 PM

Sorry to hear that.

As mentioned before, is there something about extenuating (sp?) circumstances to get out of the 4 week contract period?

If not, could you ask a few local childminders if they have spaces that they could take on the children in the short term at least? That way, it looks to parents like you are helping them out as well.

Good luck

**Blackhorse** · 28-04-2009, 01:20 PM

I am very sorry to hear about your marriage being over and that things are not going so well.

I am not sure about your notice, but I guess you could explain your situation to the parents and tell them that you are currently unable to care for the children due to these circumstances and that you will move to Scotland.
(I guess you could always give them 4 weeks notice anyways and then be on sick leave related to stress of situation???)

maybe if you know other cms in the area they can take on some of the kids??

not sure if this is helpful at all, but someone will be able to give you great advice I am sure!!

sending you loads of hugs!!

**Alibali** · 28-04-2009, 01:23 PM

If your contract says 4 weeks, then you are legally bound to give that notice. There may be ways around it though. If you have understanding parents, they may be happy to accept your immediate notice. If you have other minders who may be able to help out that might be easier.

The other option would be to give notice and then go off sick, I don't think there is anything to stop you being sick, and having been through a marriage break up myself, I know you will be genuinely sick. I certainly couldn't have worked.

So sorry to hear your news, sending hugs to you

**nannysue** · 28-04-2009, 01:24 PM

Originally Posted by huggableshelly

oh you poor thing!

Get on the phone to Ofsted and your insurance asap tell them you are unable to safely continue to childmind and unable to give parents 4 weeks notice, ask them for legal advise on how to handle parents. dont stay where you are uncomfortable due to legal issues if you feel unsafe the children are unsafe too. This may come under exeptional circumstances and unfortunatly your parents are going to have to deal with it rather quickly.

Good Luck with the move xxx

I would have said more or less the same thing plus seeing if there are any other childminders who can take on the children now. I'm sure your parents will be understanding. Wishing you lots of happiness in Scotland and good luck xx

**Mollymop** · 28-04-2009, 01:25 PM

Sorry i can't add anything, but wanted to stop and give you a hug and say sorry to hear your news. Hope things work out well for you when you get to scotland xx

**Playmate** · 28-04-2009, 01:26 PM

Originally Posted by huggableshelly

oh you poor thing!

Get on the phone to Ofsted and your insurance asap tell them you are unable to safely continue to childmind and unable to give parents 4 weeks notice, ask them for legal advise on how to handle parents. dont stay where you are uncomfortable due to legal issues if you feel unsafe the children are unsafe too. This may come under exeptional circumstances and unfortunatly your parents are going to have to deal with it rather quickly.

Good Luck with the move xxx

This sounds like excellent advice and I don't think I can add to it apart from to say good luck and big hugs!

**estrelas** · 28-04-2009, 01:27 PM

again, no advice here
Just wanted to say goodluck and do whats best for you and your family
sendinhg hugs x

**emler** · 28-04-2009, 01:33 PM

I'm really sorry to hear that - sending hugs

Good luck with your move back to Scotland

**Buzz Lightyear** · 28-04-2009, 01:41 PM

As the others have said, so sorry to hear of your news. I hope you manage to get something sorted out.

**marian** · 28-04-2009, 01:45 PM

Agree with the advice already given,
Just wanted to say 'all the best ' and thinking of you.

Marian x

LOOPYLISA · 28-04-2009, 01:46 PM

So sorry to hear your sad news, wishing you lots of luck, hope everything works out

**childmind04** · 28-04-2009, 01:49 PM

No advice really but wanted to give a hug, i know it will be hard on the parents but if they look at it from your point of view they should be a little bit considerate and accept it is out of your control

Good luck
Susan

**Heaven Scent** · 28-04-2009, 01:51 PM

I would suggest that you go to your GP and tell them your circumstances and get some sort of sick note for statutory sick pay - if youve made your NI contributions you will be entitled to it - I would also tell your GP that you cannot cope without the help of your family and your children need to be with them too - I am not asking you to lie to your parents because its not a lie you will be under a great deal of stress with your own situation and don't need any aggrivation from angry parents for being let down at the last minute - if they know you have been to the doc then they may have a little more compassion - as you would not even be giving them a weeks notice I would do as they others have suggested and get in touch with your local CIS and tell them of your situation and they may know of minders who are in a position to offer emergency cover. Also get in touch with ofsted and insurance and ask to speak to their legal dept. If you have been to your doc you may get more support and sympathy as they will know how badly this is affecting you and you have not just gone off on a whim and will be back in a week or so when a row has blown over or been sorted out ( I can see from what you have written that this is not you running away from a little argument) You need to protect yourself and your family - As soon as you get to Scotland get registered with a doctor and go to Citizens Advice for help with your personal circumstance and to get some councelling ( this will probably happen through your GP)

Take care of yourself and your LO's