A dilemma...wwyd?

**LittleStars** · 09-09-2008, 06:33 PM

I have a dilemma, I have a mindee for 2 afternoons who is 3mnths...she is still on her trial period and I adore her and her parents to bits..recently with my new starters I have been finding her really really hard work...she is used to being held all the time and gets really really shouty whenever I put her down, the afternoons I have her are a logistical nightmare... I have been wondering about ending her contract at the end of the month.

NOW I have been asked to have a friends little girl on a Tuesday who is 3 yrs old and adorable...

I can't keep the baby and take friends toddler.....I was thinking about terminating the contract before friend asked me but now Im having a dilemma as I feel I would be getting rid of baby to take on toddler...is this wrong, the toddler would fit in much better with my current mindees and would be the same money for way less work!

Ohhh now I don't know what to do!

**Mrs.L.C** · 09-09-2008, 07:00 PM

A difficult one. I guess you ahve to do whats best for you. If its effecting you or other mindess or own children then then sometimes its best to end contract but at the same time i would have to know that I ahve tried everything i could to change the situation. Im guessing the short time she is with you doesnt help. Have you tried going out to help settle her now and again and ignoring the screams and responding more when shes happy as well as speaking with the parents about the situation?

Another thing is, minding for a friend. alot of people say this can cause problems such as friends thinking you will be soft reguarding payments/overtime

Good luck with what ever you chose

**Pudding Girl** · 09-09-2008, 07:02 PM

I think in this business you sometimes do have to "get rid" to make way for more suitable or more lucrative people, it's just how it goes, I had to do that last week although I felt like crud for doing it, I know it was right decision!

Don't feel bad if you decide to go this way, but bear in mind that working with friends can be a minefield!

Coudl you try putting the bub in a ringsling? ( my fave new toy!!)

**wellybelly** · 09-09-2008, 07:07 PM

DONT MIND FOR FRIENDS!

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

It is the most difficult situation you can ever put yourself in. I am doing it and I love them and they're children to bits but it isnt a proffesional relationship like i have with my other mindees. There has been a few instances that i dont want to go into detail about that have made me say that i will never mind for a friend again. I will private message you if you want me to go into detail.

**Chatterbox Childcare** · 09-09-2008, 07:30 PM

I think that you need to disregard that your friend has a replacement if you terminate the little one and decide if you want to keep her.

The replacement is a bonus if you go that way

**twise** · 09-09-2008, 07:30 PM

I had a similar situation, I looked after a 6 week old baby every day aswell as a 3 year old and 4 year old and a six year old....as much as I adored her I found it really hard, not just on me but the other kids, when she cried I had to dedicate time to her, when she slept the other children had to be quiet, I never seem to get anything done because i was always changing nappies, carrying her around etc..

I was glad when after 3 months the parents advised they were moving because i think i had reached the point of telling them I'm sorry but.....

Because of this experience I have decided that i am no longer taking any under 1's even though I think they are adorable, it just doesn't work for me.

However, do take other peoples advice when it comes to minding for friends!!!

Tracy

**LisaH** · 09-09-2008, 07:35 PM

Originally Posted by Katie

DONT MIND FOR FRIENDS!

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

It is the most difficult situation you can ever put yourself in. I am doing it and I love them and they're children to bits but it isnt a proffesional relationship like i have with my other mindees. There has been a few instances that i dont want to go into detail about that have made me say that i will never mind for a friend again. I will private message you if you want me to go into detail.

Have to agree with you there!! Nearly always ends badly.

I have an 18mth old mindee who came to me at 6 months, she was the same. Very clingy and not happy if she wasn't being carried!! After a couple of weeks she came round to my way of thinking.

**chez1373** · 09-09-2008, 10:00 PM

Originally Posted by Katie

DONT MIND FOR FRIENDS!

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

It is the most difficult situation you can ever put yourself in. I am doing it and I love them and they're children to bits but it isnt a proffesional relationship like i have with my other mindees. There has been a few instances that i dont want to go into detail about that have made me say that i will never mind for a friend again. I will private message you if you want me to go into detail.

I also did mind for a friend and it went soo wrong we barley speak now
an nothing was my fault either which makes things worse..

**Twinkles** · 09-09-2008, 10:32 PM

You have to do what's best for you and the other children.
I would add my warning about looking after friends children too , they can take advantage. If you do go ahead make sure you have EVERYTHING written down in advance , never assume they will stick to your rules unless they have them in writing.

**cloud9** · 10-09-2008, 10:43 AM

I disagree i did it for my sister in law a while back and it did work fine, yes we did have some hiccups but i think you just do need to remember to treat it as every other contract and if you feel they are trying to take advantage you need to just remind them that they follow the same rules. you cant just let things niggle at you because you are afraid its your friend and you dont want to rock the boat, you wouldnt do it with other parents. otherwise it does all build up and will inevitably explode!

**jellytot** · 10-09-2008, 12:07 PM

i would be wary of minding for a friend, but you know you and your friend.

i once minded for a friend and over time she took the attitude of i employ you and it is due to me you are wearing those clothes.

needless to say we have grown apart now, which is sad as she was my cheif bridesmaid and sons godmother,

**Raggydolls** · 10-09-2008, 12:09 PM

i mind for 3 of my friends and its actually working very nicely (5 kids in total but all very different times and hours etc)

i must have nice friends that just accept what i tell them goes - if i do happen to get something wrong then i apologise and we all get on with it

good luck with whatever u decide

leanne
xx

**jaz** · 10-09-2008, 02:38 PM

I must admit that any problems I have had have been to do with those children who are my friends lo's. They think nothing of ringing really late and at odd hours, which I dont mind if it had been for a chat, but not when its work related. Sometimes its nice to keep the 2 areas completely seperate.

J
x

**katickles** · 10-09-2008, 02:51 PM

Did you come to a conclusion with this one?

**LittleStars** · 10-09-2008, 03:56 PM

Yes....

after reading all the replies I decided to not take on the friends little girl...when I thought about it I decided that yes she would be a pain and take advantage...I have referred her to another minder I know who has a vacancy that she doesn't know.

I have today asked the babies mum if I can change her hours to the middle of the day so she avoids school runs and tea time...if she agrees great if not then although its going to be really really hard I am probably going to give he notice. She isn't working so hopefully it won't be a problem....fingers crossed!