Advice on behaviour not listening

[skatie]

Please could I have some advice regarding a 3 year old I look after, I've only recently started looking after him in the last 6 weeks. He can be really sweet and innocent but seems to have a problem listening, if I ask him to do something like put his shoes on he wants to carry on playing and I have to physically pick him up to take him to the front door. Again, at school and nursery pick up he tries continuously to wriggle out my hand/ undo the wrist strap to go off and play. At home if I ask him not to do something like stand on toys, knock other children's games over, etc he just won't listen, he won't look at me and continues. I have to physically remove him from the toy. Today I sat him on the stairs away from the other children so I could talk to him, he wouldn't look at me even when I asked. I will admit, behaviour management is not my strong point. Mum said previous childminder wouldn't have him anymore because of this reason. He's not naughty, just won't listen. Any ideas please?

[watford wizz]

I'd be speaking to mum first and looking at his history. You need to rule out any physical problem, deafness, glue ear, infection history. Then looking at how mum deals with this.
If these things are all checked out and fine I would then be looking at ways of communicating with him, boys do not process information as quickly as girls (apparently) so need a bit more time to hear and respond. It's also really annoying when your busy engaged in play/activity and then suddenly you have to stop and do something else so I always apart from emergencies give plenty of warning ie 1/2 hour before say it's nearly time to pack away for x 15mins now it's time to pack away for x 10mins before x 5mins. Be clear and consistent with consequences. Lots of praise when he gets it right, perhaps even a reward chart. If verbal speech doesn't work you could try a picture diary or cards. Do easy to reach goals to start with ie walk form one lampost to another nicely receive a reward and then slowly lengthen this. It also really helps if parents/carers can use the same methods as you.

[NightOwl]

To add to the good advice given by watford wizz, you could try using a visual reminder when you want lo to stop playing. A sand timer can work sometimes, your lo could set it himself. Or you could try using an egg timer. There are lots of animal shaped ones now, does he have a favourite animal? Good luck.

[skatie]

Thanks for your advice, I'll put some of these into practise tomorrow and hopefully we'll all feel a little happier about the situation.