at my wits end.

**tess1981** · 13-03-2014, 09:21 AM

Have a 2 yo mindee who was on her own with me for a few months after 3 siblings left my care for mum to have a new baby.
I am busy again with new mindees but the 2 yo is driving me mad. She hates the fact other children . are here. She screams cries hits and is very very hard work when . other children are here or even if another adult comes in.
This morning I have another 2 yo who is also a bit if a madame but only here for 5 weeks. The 2 of they are fighting all morning. Have them in high chairs now eating toast and fruit and they are shouting at each other it's mine and no at top of lungs. One just turned 2 a week about and 1 is 2 next month.
I have tried getting down to their level firm voice time out ignoring behaviour distraction but I have made no headway in 2 weeks.
Even had to drink a bottle of wine last Friday night.
They will lift each others stuff like shoes and coats look at the other child and shout mine just to get a reaction. My main concern is the 2 yo I have had for a year now. Any advice gratefully accepted.

**tess1981** · 13-03-2014, 09:23 AM

Can I also add praised for any (few and far between) moments of kindness or good behaviour

**AliceK** · 13-03-2014, 09:36 AM

I can certainly relate to the "mine" situation. I have 2 mindees who are both the same age, currently 2 and half, I have had them both for 18mths and they have only recently stopped the "mine" behaviour. They would both wind each other up with "mine", one of them was slightly worse than the other and it wasn't just toys and belongings that were "mine" it was also me. This one child would throw himself at me if another child spoke to me even my own children and would shout No mine. I think this child see's you as "mine" too. It is only a phase but it is very tiring. I tried everything and tbh not sure any of it worked but they are both 80% better now. You have my sympathies.

xxxx

**funemnx** · 13-03-2014, 10:02 AM

I have sometimes found that being outside (park/softplay) will improve behaviour. The large spaces and other children seem to diffuse the childrens behaviour - if nothing else it will give you some respite I hope and tire the little ones!

**tess1981** · 13-03-2014, 10:49 AM

Outside causes a whole new lot of new problems.... could be 3 cars 2 children and both want the same one lol but at least outside the noise seems to be more tolerable and Def does tire them out.
One is asleep now and one is resting but she might not sleep even though mum says she still sleeps during the day. Think it too new here for her to want to sleep. Have an old mindee 3 yo coming at 12 for 2 hours. Can't wait to see her

**hectors house** · 13-03-2014, 10:57 AM

How about out at the park - that way all the equipment is bolted down! I tend to say to all the children who say "mine" over toys at in actual fact it is my house and my toys and if they don't share nicely I will put all of MY toys away and they will play with nothing - after I pack up a box of toys and pop it out in the hall they soon start to realise that I mean it. How about a reward if they are being friends for a while - eg: watch TV for 10 mins before lunch

**tess1981** · 13-03-2014, 11:50 AM

I have started saying that actually the stuff is mine as this is my house and we all have to share it it or im not taking it out. Noy always possible to get out and as can have 3 under 3 and no room for all the car seats in my wee car but will try it in quieter days see how that works

**loocyloo** · 13-03-2014, 11:52 AM

I often tell the children they are MY toys but because I am kind I share them. If they can't share them then there are no toys to play with!

Good luck

**shortstuff** · 13-03-2014, 12:29 PM

Mine all get told the toys are mine too. If they dont play nicely I will get sad and stop sharing. If they are bad at sharing they get little prompts every now and again about how nicely they are playing and how happy it is making me. I find most little ones want to please so will gradually start to take it on board.

**tess1981** · 13-03-2014, 01:33 PM

All day when I have heard mine I say they belong to me but I'm sharing them... It has become my new mantra.... I will be saying it in my sleep lol but thanks that was great advise today

**sarah707** · 14-03-2014, 07:26 AM

That's my mantra too - it's Sarah's whatever and Sarah shares ... over and over again.

It does work - eventually - even my teens say it to the little ones it's so well ingrained