Labelling children

[charlottenash]

Whats your opinions on children being given an 'I'm a little eater' badge to wear at lunchtime? There is further developments on this story but I'd like first impression opinions before I elaborate.

[dominiquegait]

My dd has had 'I ate all my vegetables' :-) but not I'm a little eater....sounds weird to me.

[MessybutHappy]

It encouraged mine to eat better at school... But there's always the issue of who gets one and who doesn't!

[Mouse]

It's not something I've some across before, so I'm not quite sure what it is.

I'm guessing it's for a child who has a small appetite & shouldn't be pushed to eat a lot.

My daughter always had eating issues at school, through infants, juniors & now into senior school, but it is observed without any attention being drawn to it. It doesn't take a lot of effort for someone to subtly monitor what she is eating. Most of the time she isn't even aware it's being done.

I certainly wouldn't have wanted any attention drawn to it & it would have had a negative effect on her.

But all children are different & maybe some would respond positively to wearing a badge.

It depends on the reason for it, how it's done & how the child feels about it,

[charlottenash]

Ok so my DS just started reception in September.

He has school dinners and has told me he's been eating them, teachers said nothing to me so I assumed he was telling the truth.

Last Friday and all weekend my DS has been on about this badge he has at school that says 'I can't have jelly beans' and I was baffled. He was really irritated that I didn't know about it so I asked his teacher on Monday, she didn't know anything about it (apparently).

Today they had a 'bring your parent to lunch' day. Me and OH couldn't go so my dad went along. Said teacher above was in the dining room with other helpers.

My dad says my DS wears a badge 'I'm a little eater' and doesn't eat anything. They spend a long time encouraging him but he eats a few bites and that's it.

Now the badge thing in principal isn't too terrible but I'm not keen on the labelling thing, what annoys me is that my son already has a complex about this sticker, and I'm annoyed the teacher attempted to hide this from me. If a child doesn't eat pork, or is vegetarian do they also wear a badge? I guess not, it's probably known by the dinner ladies so why not just give him a smaller portion, just the same as they wouldn't give a child meat etc?

The other thing I'm annoyed about is them not telling me he doesn't eat!!!! No wonder he's been coming home so miserable, I'd assumed it was tiredness.

I've had a long day but I'm just so angry, the school have already broken my trust about food and I won't be giving him school dinners from now until year 6. It's a shame they couldn't be more open and honest and it's something I will be addressing tomorrow.

[charlottenash]

My dd has had 'I ate all my vegetables' :-) but not I'm a little eater....sounds weird to me.

I love this!! POSITIVE stickers are always a good idea in my world!

[MessybutHappy]

Our school used them to celebrate a little person eating well! Totally the opposite! I'd be cross at the spin your school has put on it. :@

[Mouse]

Ok so my DS just started reception in September.

He has school dinners and has told me he's been eating them, teachers said nothing to me so I assumed he was telling the truth.

Last Friday and all weekend my DS has been on about this badge he has at school that says 'I can't have jelly beans' and I was baffled. He was really irritated that I didn't know about it so I asked his teacher on Monday, she didn't know anything about it (apparently).

Today they had a 'bring your parent to lunch' day. Me and OH couldn't go so my dad went along. Said teacher above was in the dining room with other helpers.

My dad says my DS wears a badge 'I'm a little eater' and doesn't eat anything. They spend a long time encouraging him but he eats a few bites and that's it.

Now the badge thing in principal isn't too terrible but I'm not keen on the labelling thing, what annoys me is that my son already has a complex about this sticker, and I'm annoyed the teacher attempted to hide this from me. If a child doesn't eat pork, or is vegetarian do they also wear a badge? I guess not, it's probably known by the dinner ladies so why not just give him a smaller portion, just the same as they wouldn't give a child meat etc?

The other thing I'm annoyed about is them not telling me he doesn't eat!!!! No wonder he's been coming home so miserable, I'd assumed it was tiredness.

I've had a long day but I'm just so angry, the school have already broken my trust about food and I won't be giving him school dinners from now until year 6. It's a shame they couldn't be more open and honest and it's something I will be addressing tomorrow.

Some schools do have badges for children who have allergies or specific dietary needs. There have been instances where a dinner lady didn't know, or forgot that the child couldn't have certain food, so in my mind, a badge for that isn't such a bad thing (as long as the child is OK about it).
Also, you can't assume the class teacher will know what happens at lunch time. Very often they have no idea at all as they have no dealings with the children at lunchtime. The teacher could only have been in there today as it was a 'special' day. SHe might never have been in there before!

What I would be annoyed about is the fact you haven't been told he's not eating. In my experience, our school always told parents & found out how much they ate at home and how parents wanted it dealing with. Unfortunately, some dinner ladies & lunchtime support staff seem to do their own thing without class teachers knowing anything about it.

If it were me, I would arrange to speak to the class teacher and ask what the policy is. Your son won't be the first child to eat little at lunch time & certainly won't be the last, so they should have some procedure in place. Packed lunches also worked well for my daughter. Sometimes she just didn't like the squash of joining the dinner queue, so a packed lunch avoided that.

Good luck and let us know how it goes xx

[charlottenash]

Thank you mouse, very level headed advice, I don't want to seem like one of those 'first year' mums who finds fault with stuff but this has got my goat!

[Mouse]

Thank you mouse, very level headed advice, I don't want to seem like one of those 'first year' mums who finds fault with stuff but this has got my goat!

Been there, done that... and alienated many a teacher within the first few weeks of term

It's a case of waiting till you've calmed down a bit and trying to work out what is the main issue. I think in your case it's the fact that you haven't been told about any problems with him eating at lunchtime, which is very common, but also very important.

[Leela]

Charlotte I was a zero eater at school during a time when packed lunches were not an option. I still have nightmares about being the last one out of the school hall. They should not be labelling children in this way and I would chat to the head of the school about this practice. My youngest daughter was like this and I was not popular for insisting on her coming home for dinner but I wanted to prevent her having food issues. She is 18 now and loves food and eating.

[k1rstie]

With a packed lunch you can see how much was eaten by what is left. But kids will often throw it all away after they have finished it.

[charlottenash]

He has taken a packed lunch today and will be continuing to for the foreseeable future, doesn't mean I should be scared to send him in for a dinner every now and then though. Have a meeting with teacher today and will be following up with a head teacher letter reiterating what is discussed.

[AliceK]

My DD is a very picky eater due to health reasons. When she first started school last year she had school dinners but wouldn't eat much despite cajoling from the teachers. It was not uncommon for her to sit there for the whole lunch hour. After having a chat with the teacher about it and making them aware that I know about her eating and I don't mind if she doesn't eat much we agreed that they would put a time limit on her so she would only be allowed 30mins then she was made to go out and play. Then I found out that she was choosing the jacket potato option EVERY day at school and I am not paying £2 for that so now she takes a packed lunch. They are not allowed to throw anything away, not even the rubbish from their packed lunches so I can see every day what she has eaten. It's very limited as to what she will have in her lunch box but at least I know what she's having. I think the teachers at my childrens school dread seeing me coming towards them but I feel I should speak about things / ask things as they crop up. I don't lose my temper or have a go but I do know what I want and can be quite authoritative when I need to be. I like to think I am helping them work in partnership with parents

xxxx

[Simona]

OMG....this is truly my pet hate: LABELS for children....SEN, EAL, Additional needs child, Down Syndrome (that is the worst), autistic, Asperger, gifted, ethnic minority, from low income family, disadvantaged, public school educated, state school educated, middle class or upper class, spoilt, brat and so on and so on.

Why do we need to label children? what does it do to their self esteem I wonder?
would we like to walk around with a label stuck on us?

[MessybutHappy]

OMG....this is truly my pet hate: LABELS for children....SEN, EAL, Additional needs child, Down Syndrome (that is the worst), autistic, Asperger, gifted, ethnic minority, from low income family, disadvantaged, public school educated, state school educated, middle class or upper class, spoilt, brat and so on and so on.

Why do we need to label children? what does it do to their self esteem I wonder?
would we like to walk around with a label stuck on us?

Sorry Simona, but I have to challenge this! I love my labels! I'm often introduced as "x's childminder", I'm usually x's mummy/wife", very, very occasionally I'm ME but I don't mind in the least. My children tell me they believe themselves to be "slow" or "a good reader" and I celebrate, commiserate, or challenge. We all go through life being labeled, and yes, sometimes they aren't helpful, but sometimes they're fab! I'm so proud to be a wife and mother, you can stick that one on me in a glow in the dark bold and underlined font!!!
A person doesn't have to be defined or limited by a label, but it can give identity and belonging.
They aren't always a bad thing!!
Of my box now!!!

[line6]

Sorry Simona, but I have to challenge this! I love my labels! I'm often introduced as "x's childminder", I'm usually x's mummy/wife", very, very occasionally I'm ME but I don't mind in the least. My children tell me they believe themselves to be "slow" or "a good reader" and I celebrate, commiserate, or challenge. We all go through life being labeled, and yes, sometimes they aren't helpful, but sometimes they're fab! I'm so proud to be a wife and mother, you can stick that one on me in a glow in the dark bold and underlined font!!! A person doesn't have to be defined or limited by a label, but it can give identity and belonging. They aren't always a bad thing!! Of my box now!!!

I have to agree with you. We do go through life with labels and they can be positive and negative. Sometimes the negatives ones help push us to more positive ones.

[line6]

Sorry I was meant to be agreeing with the post about the positives of 'labels'

[charlottenash]

Spoke to teacher today she basically said:

-A lot of children left their cannelloni yesterday as they weren't keen on it.

-the sticker doesn't mean he has a smaller portion but that he is monitored to ensure someone is encouraging him (again, fine, but tell me about it?!)

On return to home, I spoke with my dad who said it isn't a small sticker as she stated but a large thing around his neck hanging on a ROPE (another thing that gets my goat, things on children's necks)

Anyway she has agreed to monitor his eating herself tomorrow, but on hindsight I'm still not happy about the neck thing so I am going to ask if he can not wear it.

From next week I think I will just sent packed lunch, my son eats good packed lunches and healthy things in there so it pleases me to know he's eating well.

Thanks for the support xx

[ziggy]

totally against this idea

i wouldnt allow school to do such a thing personally

since when did food become such a big issue?

as i mentioned many many times on here (sorry to be such a bore)..............I put food in front of child, if they eat they eat, if they dont they dont.............nothing else offered till next snack/meal time. No big drama. Have 2 children aged 34 and 23 both good eaters, not over weight (one is vegan, her choice)

I am convinced the more fuss we make over food the bigger problem we create