Miserable as sin CM at son's school!

[EmmaReed84]

I know I shouldn't judge, but I just can't help myself! There is a CM who also collects from my Son's school, she is an older lady (guesstimate 50+) she always stands at the gate and will chat to the adults, but I have never seen her engage with the children. They just stand there or sit in the pushchair waiting for the schoolies.

Yesterday I was in the car and saw her walking along, holding one child's hand almost dragging and another older child walking behind her, they all looked so miserable, the older child was walking head down and I couldn't help but want to say "For heaven's sake... TALK TO THE CHILDREN OR SOMETHING!"

May be it is just me, but I love chatting to the kids, at any time, walking, sitting at home, in the car etc. When we pick the schoolies up I always ask how their days was, what they did and am very interested, I even tell them what we have been up to... Actually having conversations.

Like I said, I know I shouldn't judge this lady, I don't know her she could be an amazing CM full of beans, chatting and smiley at home. But whenever I have seen her (every week for the past 2 years) her little charges always look so bored and she always looks like she has been kicked in the teeth, I often smile to her as I walk past, try to say hello but nothing... Surely first impressions count in this industry and I know I am not the only person who has noticed her... I heard two ladies walking behind me one day being less than pleasant about her. (I just kept myself to myself)

[Bumble Beez]

I know of a childminder near me who is almost exactly the same...always looks fed up and like she doesn't want to have the kidlets about...altho fine with adults...

Funniest part is that she is always full to bursting, and has a waiting list...and has been graded as outstanding

I do agree tho that first impressions and the way we present ourselves when out and about with the LO's is very important and I would be devastated if I thought someone was slating me...let alone talking in the playground people can be cruel, and really shouldn't judge...

Maybe she feels isolated...does she attend any groups? Its hard to be happy with the LO's if you are struggling yourself...

I think you did the right thing by not getting involved in the conversation tho...

My trouble is I talk to the kids too much...once I start I struggle to stop!!

[Tazmin68]

Try and talk to her. She could feel a bit isolated. I must admit i don't always talk to my little one on buggy on school run.the one usually falls asleep ibm buggy and don't want to disturb that opportunity and another likes to chill out in buggy. I am sometimes wary of talking to adults at school as i have had 2 very silly anon complaints put through to ofsted both related to while waiting in playground one was about a toddler walking in playground without shoes on he had taken them off while i was waiting for a class to come out in.Also my own year 6 son as not a morning person and because he is grumpy walks with his head down .
I read your post and it sounded a little like me.

[EmmaReed84]

Try and talk to her. She could feel a bit isolated. I must admit i don't always talk to my little one on buggy on school run.the one usually falls asleep ibm buggy and don't want to disturb that opportunity and another likes to chill out in buggy. I am sometimes wary of talking to adults at school as i have had 2 very silly anon complaints put through to ofsted both related to while waiting in playground one was about a toddler walking in playground without shoes on he had taken them off while i was waiting for a class to come out in.Also my own year 6 son as not a morning person and because he is grumpy walks with his head down .
I read your post and it sounded a little like me.

I have tried to talk to her before, I am a very social person. Like I said I have smiled at her and just got nothing back... I have also said hello before and again, was just ignored. I already know 4 CM's my area and in fact, walked up to one lady who looked like a CM and began chatting to her, I don't see other CM's as competition, but more like colleagues to talk to.

[Mouse]

I talk all the time - to the children, to the parents, to anyone who wants a chat. Sometimes I can see parents trying to get away at the end of the day and I think to myself "just shut up. They want to go home!"

Maybe we're just at extremes of the chatty scale - some chat endlessly, some don't talk at all. I wonder if there's a happy medium, though if there is, I'm nowhere near it

[charlottenash]

I get funny looks at the school when I talk away to 17mo in the pushchair. They seem to think I'm crazy, until they see her start talking back!

[shortstuff]

I talk all the time - to the children, to the parents, to anyone who wants a chat. Sometimes I can see parents trying to get away at the end of the day and I think to myself "just shut up. They want to go home!"

Maybe we're just at extremes of the chatty scale - some chat endlessly, some don't talk at all. I wonder if there's a happy medium, though if there is, I'm nowhere near it

You sound just like me mouse x

I have no advice sorry but i do have one very similar at my school, I have one of her parents now coming to me as she said she is retiring but she still goes on the school run every day so not sure. I would just like to say it wasnt an excuse to get rid of the family either as they are really good x

[starlight1]

we have a child minder at our school who now only takes over 8's..before she even knew I was a CM she would sit and slag the parents off...I was amazed she ever gets any business...I know she would be the last person I would take on