New parent wants to come to meet schollies

**KatieFS** · 08-05-2013, 01:08 PM

Arrrrgggggggghhh

Had a parent visit three weeks ago. Didn't hear a peep and she just called to say its between me and another minder and wants to come and meet the other children. Blimey! No thanks for your time the other week etc
I'm happy ish for them to come but did try to say that I won't be able to chat as will be busy.
Do you get the impression you're being compared. I'm sure I'm being sensitive just moaning really

**Velleity** · 08-05-2013, 01:16 PM

You are being compared ~ that's exactly what she's doing but you can only be yourself, as can the children. Just carry on as normal and let her decide what she thinks right for her child

**wendywu** · 08-05-2013, 01:16 PM

No point really as they could all change in a matter of weeks.

Could you not meet for 20 minutes in a park afterschool for an icecream or something. Dont think i would want a parent in my house after school, its a bit hetic

**Koala** · 08-05-2013, 01:24 PM

Wow, i've never had a prospective parent want to meet the children I look after, or have I miss read. Parents have been to my setting whilst I have other children here but I am a bit precious about them having any contact with the children and also hi jacking me when I have kids to look after AND she will expect you to give her your attention.

Good luck

**maryp0ppins** · 08-05-2013, 01:31 PM

She defo is comparing which is fine but I don't think I'd like this one bit. You could suggest it's fine to come but your child ratio changes all the time so bare that in mind if she doesn't like a certain child's attitude of thinks her child should come because they took a shine to another child.
Good luck xx

**loocyloo** · 08-05-2013, 02:19 PM

i had a prospective parent who could only come and visit at 4.45pm.

she hadn't had her baby yet and i did warn her that i wouldn't really be able to chat much, and that it would be utter chaos as i had 8 children that evening and it would be teatime!

she arrived and everyone played up ... from my baby DD who stopped being her usual sunny self and needed holding, to DS who demanded 'lady me book peese', my other LO threw food everywhere and we don't need to talk about the schoolies !!!

she sat there smiling and i just thought 'oh well' !

i was so surprised when she then asked me to look after her ( as yet unborn ) babe !!! i cared for her babe and then babes sibling for almost 6 years! when i loved, mum wrote me a reference and said it was at her first meeting with me and how i dealt with everyone, and how happy they were and she thought if her child grew up to be that polite she would be so peased!

( when i read it i asked her if she was sure she remembered correctly and she said yes, she could see the children were playing up as she was there, but equally could see they were happy and i was calm ( if only she knew

)

i would still prefer parents not to come afterschool and always tell prospective parents that the children change days/hours/attendence and i can not guarantee that any particular child will or will not be there!

**KatieFS** · 08-05-2013, 04:55 PM

I did think about saying no, but then felt its reasonable that they want to meet some of the other children and what would they think if I said no.
Ice chosen a day that isn't too hectic. I just thought it was a bit rich after weeks and weeks no email or text and then to call and ask this and that. I've obv said its ok but it will be busy and isn't an ideal time to visit. You know when you have the feeling of demanding parent creeping in. Makes me feel a bit uncertain that maybe they aren't the right family for my business. We will just have to see !

And the children will behave hopefully well and I can get myself ready and organised for new children in Sept.
I shall keep you all posted.

**Petshrinklj** · 08-05-2013, 05:00 PM

Goodluck. Hope the kids behave well (or terrible if you decide you don't want to take her kid on

)

**phoenix2010** · 08-05-2013, 05:36 PM

I would say no to this , it feels a bit weird , but each to their own

and when she says meet the children , what is she going to do , interview them ?

**bunyip** · 08-05-2013, 05:36 PM

I had a prospective client visit when another lo was here (whose mum was happy to give consent.) She's on holiday now, but wants to sign up as soon as she gets home.

I can see how it might be unsettling though. You ought to seek the consent of the parents of those mindees who'll be present when she visits. That in itself might give you a 'get out' if you're just not happy with it.

**tashaleee** · 08-05-2013, 05:45 PM

Not really sure I understand her point in wanting to meet the other children. Is her child a younger or school aged one? If its younger and she may be wondering if the house is too noisy for her little one.. but if school aged then I dont see the relevance.

Personally I rarely have parents visit whilst im working (unless Im very sure we are signing contracts and its a 'see how I work visit') - its not fair to the parents I currently childmind for as it takes my time away from their child and thats not what Im being paid for (but just my opinion

)

**Greengrass74** · 08-05-2013, 06:00 PM

I would not have a problem with this, I encourage any parent to come and visit at different times so that they can get a feel for what we are really like, and to see how I interact and play with the other children, after all we are being asked to look after their most precious thing in their life and they need to know that their Lo will be happy in the setting.

Does it matter that you are being compared as again they need to make sure that your setting is right for their Lo. I encourage parents to visit other Childminders in the area so that they can compare and choose the right childminder for them and their Lo.

This is just the way I do things, everyone is different, and I hope the visit goes ok for you.

**Bob** · 08-05-2013, 06:13 PM

I don't think it's unreasonable to visit a potential childminder 'in action', especially if it's for a tiny baby. She may want to know that her baby won't be accidentally trodden on which may happen if the schoolies are allowed to run riot. I'm not saying you do by the way. She would need to be sure you would be able to give her baby the attention it needed despite having a house full.

**blue bear** · 08-05-2013, 07:53 PM

I usually encourage after school aged children (and parent) to come for a visit after school before making a decision so they can see how it really is.

**Paulab** · 08-05-2013, 08:29 PM

I actively encouraged my new babies mum to come visit after school, Her baby was going to spending 2 hours a day with these children twice a week. She was trusting me with her precious baby and I wanted her to see us when its absolutely chaotic here, and meet everyone her baby would meet, my older children husband and all mindees

she had to be happy with all the situations her baby would be in, she loved us

the baby is now 13 months and absolutely loves all the after schoolies.

I would encourage again if the child would be here with after schoolies, but I would hesitate if it would not affect the child.

**SDC34cr** · 08-05-2013, 09:53 PM

Last year I had a parent want to visit at 3.30 just as I get in from school run, it was the only time they could come due to work commitments. I had only been minding 6 months and was due my graded inspection at any time. They were on the doorstep when I came home with 4 loud schoolies who went in threw there bags on the floor and went straight outside ( luckily it was a nice day I was hot and flustered and the mother ask me loads of questions ( she had used a childminder before for an older child) they went away and phoned a few weeks later saying it was between me and another childminder. She then came back for another visit again at school time and decided to choose me. I was really pleased as the other childminder has a good reputation. I have looked after little one since And my daughter goes to there's to babysit now which is lovely. So things can work out nicely.

**Optimalstar** · 09-05-2013, 06:36 AM

Parent's visit nurseries when they've children in attendance. I have a parent coming in a couple of weeks and I suggested she visit when I have one of my mindees here. Mindee is the age their daughter will be in October, the time they're looking to start with childcare. I figured if they came when I had the mindee then they can see exactly what their daughter might be doing seeing that was one of their questions - what things do I do in my setting? Difficult to answer when it's so generally. I did list some things and added depends on age, stage and interest of the child.

**margaret** · 09-05-2013, 07:24 AM

Cannot see a problem with mum coming to meet all the kids.I get the mums /dads to join in kids play if they want to meet up with others in my house .Or what about having an open afternoon /morning where all families can meet up,families like this.

**The Juggler** · 09-05-2013, 08:52 AM

i also wouldn't mind. it would not be my first choice, I'd like to meet for a chat first but to come back to see what its really like here is fine with me.

**Emra81** · 10-05-2013, 11:57 PM

Not quite sure what to make of this (i'm pre reg so have v little knowledge of anything!). On the one hand, I can't think of a valid reason why I could say no to a parent wanting to come round to meet the other children and can totally understand why they would want to, but on the other hand, something about it doesn't feel right for some reason. What would a nursery say if a parent wanted to come in specifically to meet the children their child would be with?