upset parents

[Emmalou77]

My child got chicken pox, i alerted mum right away to take her child home then the minded child got it three weeks later so had to refuse to look after minded child until the five days were up, then the child came back into my setting and all was happy, on the second day in and my own child gets diahria and i have to send minded child home. Parent unhappy with me as she relies on me massively. She says its my fault her child got ill in the first place and basically made me feel so bad i was in tears. I ask what can i do its no ones fault, its in the air. I said how can we go on if she is like this every time my child is ill? I have two children of my own and between them we have had four bouts of sickness in one year. I said i don't know if i want to carry on and need to sleep on it. What would you do?
:-(

[shortstuff]

My child got chicken pox, i alerted mum right away to take her child home then the minded child got it three weeks later so had to refuse to look after minded child until the five days were up, then the child came back into my setting and all was happy, on the second day in and my own child gets diahria and i have to send minded child home. Parent unhappy with me as she relies on me massively. She says its my fault her child got ill in the first place and basically made me feel so bad i was in tears. I ask what can i do its no ones fault, its in the air. I said how can we go on if she is like this every time my child is ill? I have two children of my own and between them we have had four bouts of sickness in one year. I said i don't know if i want to carry on and need to sleep on it. What would you do?
:-(

You are following what you have both agreed to. I assume the parent read your policies? and signed them?

I think you are doing all you can and mum is just venting. I agree with you sleeping on it as you might feel differently in the morning. I read somewhere on here about the 48 hour rule and I think that might be perfect for this occasion x

Sleep well and see how you feel, if you arent ready to make a decision tomorrow then make it the next day.

[supermumy]

To be honest I can see her point when my mindee caught it I still had the child as my child passed it on and with 4 kids now I also give the option of mine are ill weither they wanna bring mindee (unless bad d&v) Same as if mindee is sick cold etc I will still take on unless again (d&v
or high temp
But that's just me

What does our sickness policy and fees say ?

[FussyElmo]

My child got chicken pox, i alerted mum right away to take her child home then the minded child got it three weeks later so had to refuse to look after minded child until the five days were up, then the child came back into my setting and all was happy, on the second day in and my own child gets diahria and i have to send minded child home. Parent unhappy with me as she relies on me massively. She says its my fault her child got ill in the first place and basically made me feel so bad i was in tears. I ask what can i do its no ones fault, its in the air. I said how can we go on if she is like this every time my child is ill? I have two children of my own and between them we have had four bouts of sickness in one year. I said i don't know if i want to carry on and need to sleep on it. What would you do?
:-(

Ok the parent is making you geel guilty because she probably is having a hard time from work.

HOWEVER you have done exactly what you should do follow the hpa exclusions.

You have done the right thing and keep that in your head it is highly unfortunate when children are ill but it is a fact of life. And sometimes it feels like one bug after another.

Hopefullu the nice weather will nske everyone feel better.

Big hugs x x

[greanan]

I'd def sleep on and see how you feel tomorrow x

[winstonian]

Have you got a local minder near you who knows the child and would be willing to step in for times when your child is sick? Then you could phone mum and say "X is ill, do you want to come home or I can send your child to ......insert other minders name". Could solve the problem? Hope you feel better this morning xx

[blue bear]

It's really tough when children get poorly for all of us parents and minders, sounds like she was frustrated and took it out on you. Hopefully things will settle down as the children build up their immune. A back up childminder who has space is a good idea.

[MessybutHappy]

Keep your chin up, you've done all the right things, she may well be frustrated, but these things can't be helped and she's out of order making you feel this way. We had a run of illness and it was very interesting to see how different parents responded!

[wendywu]

Years ago things were not so set in stone we did not send mindees home when our children were ill, not unless they were at deaths door

[oxfordshirecm]

You have done exactly what I would of done. I'm not a nurse I am a childminder so unless the child is well enough to play and learn as normal then they can't be here. I look after too many children to look after a sick child too. I have been lucky this year (touch wood) that no one has got d&v - I dunno how as there is so much about so haven't had to exclude- but I would do it if had too.

As long as you have a sickness policy and sticking to it then you are doing the right thing.

Like someone else suggested - see if you can buddy with another cm to give them another option as that's what I have done.

[angeldelight]

Years ago things were not so set in stone we did not send mindees home when our children were ill, not unless they were at deaths door

Those wer the days

No complaining from anyone either ha

Hopefully things will get better with the nicer weather ...it's been a bad year with loads of different bugs

Hope mom is ok now she's calmed down

Angel xx

[bunyip]

My child got chicken pox, i alerted mum right away to take her child home then the minded child got it three weeks later so had to refuse to look after minded child until the five days were up, then the child came back into my setting and all was happy, on the second day in and my own child gets diahria and i have to send minded child home. Parent unhappy with me as she relies on me massively. She says its my fault her child got ill in the first place and basically made me feel so bad i was in tears. I ask what can i do its no ones fault, its in the air. I said how can we go on if she is like this every time my child is ill? I have two children of my own and between them we have had four bouts of sickness in one year. I said i don't know if i want to carry on and need to sleep on it. What would you do?
:-(

You've done exactly the right thing and shouldn't be made to feel bad about it.

All we can do is make parents aware of this right from the start of the admissions process. It's the kind of thing we have to tell them, then tell them again, and say "yes, I really do mean this." I also tell them that if they want more reliability they should use a nursery, as that won't close when one staff member goes sick: but their child will come into contact with more sick lo's, so it's swings and roundabouts.

Tbh, mum's only other options are to give up work or have a look on eBay for a child-sized hermetically-sealed bubble.

[Petshrinklj]

Hugs Hun. Hope your ok this morning. I think mum was frustrated and took it out on you. I expect you will get an apology of her soon.

[Emmalou77]

Thanks for all your comments and support everyone. I do feel like the ball is in my court because the last thing i said to her was that i needed to sleep on it and she said "right" and off she went and we haven't spoken since.

[MessybutHappy]

I would call, reiterate that you understand it's hard when the childcare isn't available, but policies are there for a reason, and explain that you'd life to continue to care for her child, but she has to understand them, then the ball is in her court!

[serin]

i understand that rules are rules but think of it from the parents position, yes she doesnt want her child getting ill either but she cant keep taking time off of work drop of a hat. I would say a backup childminder is always a sensible idea anyway so that way you've got reliable cover as an option just in case.

[bunyip]

i understand that rules are rules but think of it from the parents position, yes she doesnt want her child getting ill either but she cant keep taking time off of work drop of a hat. I would say a backup childminder is always a sensible idea anyway so that way you've got reliable cover as an option just in case.

That's only because greedy employers are allowed to get away with bullying staff and ignoring employment rules on work/life balance. This certainly wouldn't be happening if the UK regime hadn't spent the last 30+ years undermining unions and workers' rights.

Refusing to let a mum care for her child is barely one step removed from the days when companies simply refused to employ a woman in case she got pregnant and started "neglecting her work" because the children need looking after.

Progress, eh.....?

[FussyElmo]

The only problem with back up childminders is you have to rely on them having spaces. Difficult if you have 3 eyfs children needing cover.

[phoenix2010]

send her a copy of this to explain the guidelines you are enforcing
http://www.hpa.org.uk/webc/HPAwebFil.../1194947358374

then reassure her that you will seek to find back up childminders for the future for when your children are ill

I have 2 backup childminders and Im their back up too

one of them has a bug this week and I have one of her mindees for 4 days

[Louise_Oaktree]

This is really difficult - when my youngest child got CP I had already been closed 3 weeks prior when my eldest son had it. By this time all my mindees had also had it so I got parent's written consent to say they had been made aware and were still happy to send their children....BUT my Network coordinator said I still should have closed

Personally I think these bugs do disappear but also some children are more sickly than others...I have one who has had something every few months but it isn't always passed onto the other kids and she is excluded when she is ill. She just doesn't have as good of an immune system as some...I think children with older siblings are exposed to more bugs are are more hardy!